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the rhetoric in general around transitiis so toxic to me, specifically around passing. The idea that the goal is to be "mistaken for a woman" is still clinging to general societal norms, which, as a queer or fat person, you will NEVER achieve. you are fundamentally outside of that category. do not try to conform to it, do not try to expand it to inclyde yourself, kill it with fire.
I think one of my core coming out experiences as a trans woman was being told that I was too fat and ugly to ever be mistaken for a woman. I was so hideous that being "just a feminine guy" wasn't even something I could achieve. Transmisogyny from TME queers is wild.