Kinda Vent - Blog Posts

I see the president was sworn in yesterday and has already done a bunch of shit. He declared that the only genders recognized are male and female and I very much assume requires people to remain in their biological sex.

I as a transmasc person am both intrigued and terrified for the next 4 years. I have yet to come out to anybody who isn’t a close/also trans friend and had been previously planning on coming out this year to my family + school. While I very much assume my family will accept me even if it takes them some time to wrap their heads around it, I think it’ll be interesting to see how my liberal-leaning private school (that has trans students and a trans teacher) goes abt it since its basically illegal in my state to be trans at school now starting a few months ago. The uncertainty of all this though is really scary bc even if I can’t get medical care for a few years thats not going to be the end of my world I could be facing much more than that.

I think over the next 4 years the best thing I or anyone can do is just continue moving on. Trans and queer people have always been around and we have always pushed through. I think that as long as we stay together and focus on our communities and making sure everyone can get through this it might just be okay. We all need to stand strong and watch for the light at the end of the tunnel.

EMOTIONAL

time taken: 1h 52m

weird thing is is that no matter how much i think that i hate art, i hate the societal expectations around art, i hate creating every piece as well as my style i still continue to pick up the pen or pencil or whatever and draw. i think i’m just committed to a lifetime act of creation no matter what i want its just that engrained in me.

DIFFERENT

time taken: 3hr 41m

In self defense,

a knife protects.

I bring my lunch,

no one suspects.

And when it's time

to end a life-

Deceptive fruit;

Banana Knife

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I don't plan to stay in the place

for very long,

I will not endure

The repercussions of other's mistakes.

I want to move

right after

I turn of legal age

And I will be free

(I forgot the OG post for banana knife. Can someone reblog with the OG pls?)

I'm bringing a knife to work today because I don't trust people not to try to kill me.

BRINGING A KNIFE FOR SELF DEFENSE.

AND ONLY SELF DEFENSE.

BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST PEOPLE NOT TO TRY TO ASSAULT ME.

BRINGING A KNIFE TO WORK BECAUSE I WON'T GO OTHERWISE.

BRINGING A KNIFE TO WORK EVEN THOUGH IT WON'T SAVE ME IF I NEED TO USE IT.

I'm bringing a knife to work today.

And it won't save me.

It won't save me because there are too many bigots. Too many extremists. Too many murder-willing people in my town.

Those people who voted for HIM. Those people who made me bring the knife today.

The people at fault are the reason I'm bringing a knife today.

Those people are the reason I will carry a knife everyday for the foreseeable future.

They're why I will not feel safe, just as much as HIM.

ever do something like playing a game and then you feel happy and you like the you and the people you interact with till you look away and remember

its not real.

so that whole happy life in there is fake and you're life isnt like that and you just start crying?

just me? kay cool!

you know when your adhd compels you to immediately stop all work and begin reharmonizing a choir warmup for spooky season (october) and purposefully go download a free videoediting software (ShotCut, hot artists dont gatekeep) to then continuously voice record myself for the next one hour exactly cutting and editing the voice recordings to line up (speeding up by 1.001000x with pitch consideration) and then having a result that was absolutely not worth the time because your two-voice harmony one sounded much better than the three-voice one you spent twice the amount of time as the two-voice harmony one figuring out and you messaged your music major friend about it but theyre asleep rn so your thoughts are still hyperfixated on music even though i've music'd all the music there is to music right now because i have no instruments near my vicinity enough for my adhd to consider it more convenient than it is important to stay hyperfixated on this unimportant task?

yeah me neither