Level 1.5 Autism - Blog Posts

Yall are so sweet seriously :)

Question for other autistics. How soon is too soon to tell a possible friend that I'm autistic?

I'm so tired of the idea that autism isn't a disability. I'm aware that some people aren't too affected by their autism but I am disabled by mine. I've been in and out of different therapies since I was nine years old and that was even before I was diagnosed at age twelve. I have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns over the littlest of things and combined with my ADHD and GAD it's quite frankly a miracle I get anything done. I've been exhausted since school has ended since I have to prep for University and I keep having mini meltdowns over all the uncertainty ahead. I barely know how to keep the friends I still have and everyone I'm close with is going to different schools so I have no friends as a safety net come Fall Semester.

It's tiring being Autistic because everything is so much more difficult. I can barely write legibly unless I think about it and even making friends is a game I barely know how to play. Yet when i tell people that I'm autistic they are shocked as if it wasn't obvious by my difficulties with peers.

I just hope that University is better but fuck I don't even know anymore.

But to my main point. Autism is a disability. Deal with it

Teachers constantly call me high functioning and I have level 2 social communications and level 1 repetitive behaviors autism so I'm always wondering what a level 1 across the board autistic person is like if I'm considered high functioning

Food makes me feel better

Autism sucks. I have shitty organizational and math skills and now my future at the college I’ve been accepted to is in danger of being rescinded since I got a D+ in math. Fuck

Not even religious but praying to God and my deceased Grandmother as we speak

I wrote some poetry about autism when I was younger but now looking back on it I don't think I really liked acknowledging the fact that I was disabled by my autism. If anything I was desperate to prove how undisabled I am and now that I'm older and having more frequent meltdowns I'm starting to think I have some sort of complex around accepting the fact that I am in fact developmentally disabled

Being autistic and having been diagnosed at twelve years old is so inherently funny to me cause like I was knowledgeable enough to know that something was clearly weird or off about me. But not knowledgeable enough to realize that the DSM-5 wasn't kidding when they said that symptoms could be managed but would always be lifelong

Like my meltdowns are still a massive pain. Just now they're about things that could make sense like grades and not stuff like the sun exploding within my lifetime

Me: I'm not that obviously disabled by my autism Also me: Has a meltdown shutdown cycle for three weeks and although I've escaped it I'm still spiraling with anger issues out of the stress of a new transition beginning this fall

Something I have trouble with as an autistic woman is knowing whether or not I'm friends with someone unless I ask them and even then I question it

For example a teacher told us that we could work with friends for an assignment and I had to ask someone I considered a friend if we were friends before I asked him to work with me on the project