Lumosevent007 - Blog Posts

It was a scary thought for her, terrified her even, to consider breaking down the walls she had erected because of him. Giving the one person she had let hurt her in such a significant way the possibility to do so again. Still, it was easier to stay away from him when she didn't have to physically be in his presence. She could lie to herself and say she was not affected by him in the least. He was a man now, one that had gotten even more handsome with age. It was both a good thing and a bad thing that she still thought him to be extremely handsome, she was yet to decide which side she was leaning towards. "Well you better not give up. I do not plan on making anything easy for you." Serra informed him with a matter of fact tone. He liked the chase, she knew that. If she gave her heart fully now and he broke it again, she would be humiliated. "Do continue speaking about how beautiful I am, I will never tire of it." Serra was clearly pleased that he thought her beauty distracting, as was evident from her smile. Or at least she was trying to smile but something felt off. When he came closer to her she noticed that she started to feel quite dizzy all of a sudden, her skin tingling even where he didn't touch her. "I- I feel dizzy..." She wanted to say more but everything went black as she fainted right into his arms.

There were not enough words to describe how he felt around Serra in that moment. It felt like they were traveling back in time without moving at all. Malcolm had worked up years of how he would do things differently and not rely on his spontaneous and immature responses to their previous relationship. He had been nothing but a scared boy who thought he was bigger than the world. How naive he was to not see that Serra was the only one who mattered, who castrated the noises around them. That last year at school had bent him into a hellhound who only wanted to look after himself without weighing others' emotions. Now, he wasn't a boy, but a man with a tenured experience in giving Serra what she wants with lavish gifts from all over the world. They had a wedding to plan, and where he thought she would meet him with contempt, it felt like their story was given another chance; the greatest gift she could give back. "I will," Malcolm smiled. "And I doubt I will ever stop vying for your affections. You might get tired of me. I can only speak of my excitement for our futures and how your beauty is quite distracting. The other plans to prove my loyalty might have to wait when we leave, as I don't think it's appropriate here." Malcolm took a step closer, his hand meeting her hair that asked to be pushed behind her ear. As he was leaning down for a kiss, he paused only an inch away from her lips when he noticed something was wrong. "My love, are you alright?" Malcolm knew she arrived with the perfect shade of lipstick, but now they were nearly pale.

It was a scary thought, opening up to him again. She'd kept herself and her heart away from him purposefully, for many years now, as she'd worried about the power he had over her. They were like magnets, pulling towards each other, helpless to do anything against it. Was it the same for him? She wondered. Did he feel the same way she did? Still, she was too proud to show him how much he affected her. Of course she wanted him too, she thought a part of her would always want him, it was in her nature. He had only gotten more handsome in their time apart, the dark blue of his suit bringing out his eyes. She had only half listened when he spoke about traitors and nodded her agreement, distracted by how close he was standing. "You want me? Prove it." Her tone was playful, a hint of a challenge in it. She wasn't planning on making it this easy for him, she wanted him to put in the effort to get her back. Him giving her the upper hand in the wedding planning was a good start, she'd always known how she wanted her wedding to look like. The groom in her childhood fantasies had always been him as she grew up and he had broken her heart she had pushed those thoughts away. "I know what I want."

Malcolm couldn't remember what he had for breakfast on a good day so it wasn't a surprise that he couldn't pinpoint the exact timeline of him and Charity. There was a part of him that did remember, but it was all a haze that got lost under a weird thrill. Malcolm knew that Serra meant every word that she said and he would be the fool if he didn't believe her. It wasn't about being careful. He would've wanted this even if there wasn't a contract binding them together. "Trust me, I understand what can happen to a family's reputation. There's traitors making a mess of society and I'm glad none of them are here. I want this, I want you," he says. "I've wanted you and I wouldn't do anything to change that again." Maybe this wasn't the best place to have this conversation, but he had yet to ask if this was what she wanted. She probably had a line of suitors wishing for her hand, but they weren't the ones standing in front of her right now. "Oh, I do not question how green might look on you, but I was referencing the floral arrangements. We can plan whatever you want. I've heard that Emir had little to say in the arrangements here and look how good it turned out."

"That unmemorable?" She fought a smirk, keeping her voice neutral. She didn't like this - at all, but she was trying to find a way to move past this. He had made a stupid mistake and technically that was before he had known they would get married... Serra couldn't help it, a part of her had always been his, no matter how hard she had tried to erase him from her heart he had grown roots in there. Looking at him when he promised that there wouldn't be another that would turn his head she focused on his body language, the tone he was using, the little tells he had. He was being honest. "You will not like your life if you do. I am warning you now, do not make the same mistake twice." Serra would find ways to make his life hell, she had no idea how yet but she was sure that if she needed to make good on it she could come up with something if he were to break her heart again. Despite trying to act tough she did smile at his compliment, clearly enjoying to hear it. "Well obviously I'd look good in green. I look good in all colors. but I'd be wearing white, would I not?" He would look good in green too, undoubtedly. It suited his complexion and his hair color. "You could wear a dark green suit, muted, elegant."

"I don't know, not long," he answered, though fighting to remember any actual dates to prove himself right. Charity and him had their own history and history repeated itself now. Once he found out about the contracts, he was quick to sever any connection between him and Charity. He hoped she would take his silence as a hint. "Of course," he nodded. This was a good sign if anything. It was a good conversation to establish trust between them and Malcolm was adamant about proving himself. "This is going to be new. For both of us. I'm not going to stray from you again. I can't think of someone who could turn my head." And it was true, meaning every word that poured from him. "I think green would make sense. It is a color that means something to both of us. And we both would look good in it. Especially you."

"She isn't?" It was said as more of a question rather than a fact, needing the reassurance of hearing him say it again, say that she was the only one that mattered. Words were important to her, especially when they came out of his mouth. She cared about what he thought about her, how he saw her, she always had. The anguish in his eyes as so obvious right now she was wavering in her disbelief for him. Was he actually being honest with her? Was it over? Had it been over? "My birthday. After my parents announcement. He thought I deserved to know." Serra still remembered how angry she had been, how upset. Now he was telling her all the right things, what she had longed to hear from him back then. They were different people now and yet, still the same. She'd never been indifferent towards him, if she had she could have thrown out his many gifts, but she had kept every single one. "Keep talking..."

"She's not special," he corrected lowly, no longer glancing in both directions before he spoke. At least it was the first honest thing he could mean completely. There was no obligations tying him to Charity and not much of a reputation that clung to her name which was probably what made her hold his attention in the first place. She was under the radar enough, but apparently not. Malcolm's head hung for a moment, then blinked back up at her. His problems only ached more as he knew that he was the reason for placing the mistrust in the first place. He had buried it under the many years they had spent apart, but now, it was heavily back in his face. He never liked dealing with his own consequences, but he never thought of Serra as a problem or a consequence. She was more defined by everything that he couldn't understand, couldn't have. "When did he even tell you this?" he asked, brow raised. " This was clearly something he would need to talk to Evan about later. "I have no intentions of making you look like a fool, my love. She's in the past already before we even had this conversation. I will handle it later, alright? But please know that you are the only person of my affection...truly. You know that."

"I don't see how I can believe you." Why should she believe anything he said? He said he wasn't with her again and in the same breath confessed that they had been seeing each other. She didn't understand why he kept going back to that woman. "What's so special about her?" Her curiosity got the better of her, unable to act like she didn't care even though that had been her plan a few minutes ago. "You didn't have to tell him. He saw you two together. He told me what he saw and I'm grateful he did. I don't think you would have said anything to me at all, would you? And then she would've once again thrown it into my face, getting the upper hand because she knew something I didn't. An apology doesn't make me feel better. If she's lying to people about you being together it makes me look like a fool- even if one person believes it. People talk. Gossip spreads quick."

Malcolm knew better than to interrupt her when she was talking so instead, he swallowed his words and let his brows dip lower as she went on. He wasn't having an affair and he wasn't even seeing Charity at the moment. "I'm not with her again," he finally said, shaking his head. "I would never do that to you. I was seeing her casually before I found out about the engagement. I have no intentions of even talking with her, you have my word." Malcolm wanted to reach out but thought better of it as it might do more harm than good. "Why is Evan telling you anything? He has it wrong then, something must've got lost in communication. I didn't tell him anything." He wondered if Charity was telling people lies and his facial expression must've given that thought away. "Even if I was still seeing her, I'm not anymore. She must be the one lying to people. I'm sorry you had to hear such slander."

Serra couldn't believe the words she was hearing right now. He had the nerve to ask her what she was talking about. How dare he? When he looked at her did he think her a fool? That she will still the same fifteen year old girl hopelessly in love with him? She sighed, letting him lead her outside before she continued to talk. "I understand some marriages are accepting of infidelity, but I do not plan on ours being one of them." "And in such a public way. It is degrading. You could have picked someone beautiful, so that it is at least understandable how you could be swayed. But her? Again? It makes me look like a fool." What did Charity have that she didn't? Loose morals? "Evan told me. I do not see any reason for him to lie. He is my cousin's best friend and he is your business partner, is he not?"

Malcolm glanced around as she did one of her best fake smiles. They were in public and Malcolm didn't wish to be a spectacle with whatever Serra was considering saying. He was desperately trying to follow along with her, only becoming more confused when she dismissed Nick. "What are we talking about then?" he said, his eyes gazing down at her, also trying to mold his features to something that didn't resemble stress. There were people who were unemployed here and only lived off generational wealth, the same people who loved events like this so they had something to talk about until the next one. Malcolm didn't wish to be a topic of conversation or cause a scene. "Charity?" he echoed, keeping his voice as close to a whisper as he could. "Serra, that's not-you know? You know what? I'm not-I'm not with Charity. It wasn't-Who told you that?" Malcolm gave a look around the room, finding that there wasn't anyone watching them still. "Should we talk about this outside?"

This wedding was a good one to take as an example, on what to do and what not to do. For example she would not have gone for blue bridesmaids dresses, at least for a late spring wedding. Serra looked upwards, trying to ground herself and appear calm. "No, I'm not talking about Nick. I do not care about him." She forced a smile onto her face in case people were looking over at them, so at least from a distance it seemed like they were having a pleasant conversation. So he was going with deflection, making a little joke to hide what was actually going on. Not the best idea. It was clear that he didn't know that she knew what was actually going on. "I'm talking about your little charity case." Disgust came over her features for a moment before she hid it. "I know everything. So don't bother denying it." She didn't actually, but if he thought she did he'd confess quicker.

There were probably other people in the room who were also planning their wedding and taking notes, other people who were betrothed. Malcolm felt sorry for them as he had both a traditionally arranged marriage with his former betrothed and in his eyes, it was also a love match. He couldn't say the same for the others who were begrudgingly matched with boring partners. Malcolm nodded, subtly taking her words as an invitation to plan their wedding while at one already. Malcolm smiled at Serra, his eyes softening and maybe he would blame the alcohol later as Emir and Agatha must've paid handsomely for it to taste this good. "Well, I don't have as much family as you, besides Estelle, so that should be ea-" he began with a shrug then stopped. Maybe he didn't hear her right, his eyes squinting in confusion and his brow dipped in response. "My mistress? I don't...oh," he said with a humble chuckle. "You mean Nick. I know he's not everyone's favorite, but he will be in attendance of course, hopefully standing right next to me as well."

Serra had known that her cousin getting married was going to be a big event, what she hadn't expected was to be arriving engaged to Malcolm Parkinson. The last month had gone by in a whirlwind and she had done well to keep distance, after what Evan had told her she had been upset. Malcolm was seeing Charity again-still? She wasn't sure, but either way she hated it. However, she did not want him to know she cared so much. It would give him the upper hand. Right now he didn't know that she knew, but that would soon change. Would he lie to her? Pretend it wasn't true? Or would he own up to it? It took her a moment to think, too caught him in her revenge fantasies against a certain blonde. "More." They weren't poor after all, they could afford a big wedding. It was a status symbol. Plus more guests meant more presents. "I know. I always do." She touched the necklace for a moment. It had been on her pile of birthday presents, once she had opened the box she knew she had to wear it, it was as if she was drawn to it more than normal. Serra wasn't sure if he was the one that got her the necklace, but due to his compliment she assumed. He did know her taste pretty well by now and unfortunately she knew his too. "We should discuss the guest list. I want the final say about it. I'm not letting your mistress get anywhere near the place."

where: agatha and emir's wedding; reception who: @serraborgin

Though they agreed on being engaged, their correspondence was mostly about the wedding planning as it was now a rush. Still, he did his best not to look behind him, but someone could've counted at least two dozen times throughout the night. She looked good even in the bridesmaid color that Agatha had chosen. Malcolm knew which colors looked best on her and this was not even in the top five. One of his favorite colors on her was the warm blush that met her cheeks when he used to give her the finest compliments. Malcolm saw her alone near the bar and took the opportunity to plunge forward. "Should we have more or less people at our ceremony?" Malcolm smiled as he stepped over. "Hi. You look great tonight. I love the necklace." It wasn't one of his, but it still fell over her neck, her collarbones in the best way.