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Dorcas “I can’t love you, anymore” Meadows.
Marlene “I can’t love you any more” McKinnon.
james and remus watching sirius and regulus fight because one stared at the other for a bit too long.
james: i don’t get why those two are so angry all the damn time.
remus: short people are closer to hell.
*sirius struggling in the kitchen at 3 am.*
remus: what’s going on, love?
sirius: trying to rip the slutty little fishnets off my damn oranges.
*sirius and james having a discussion in the afterlife*
james: he named his kid albus severus, ALBUS FUCKING SEVERUS!!
sirius: you’re kidding.
james: i’m dead serious.
sirius: no…i’m dead sirius, you’re dead james.
james: sirius is about to come home from his third date any minute now.
regulus: third date? with the same guy? did he talk during the first two?
james: yeah no, i’m as shocked as you are.
james: *holding up his smudged glasses* reg, darling, can you get me something to clean my glasses with?
regulus: sure. *stands up and walks over to sirius, rips his shirt off his back, and gives the torn piece to james*
james: *cleaning his glasses* thank you, my love.
sirius: what did i ever do to you?
remus: *pulling out a list* i thought you’d never ask.
more jegulus and their struggle with french <3
regulus: are you done practicing?
james: yes! i’ve memorized what to say to sirius this time.
regulus: right, go on then.
james: tu es…a dúmmy…?
regulus: *facepalming* bête.
sirius and remus texting:
sirius: i love you, stay safe! <33
remus: will do, i love you too abby. <3
remus: baby*
*sirius black is typing…*
remus: oh god, here we go again…
the marauders are at a party.
sirius: *shit-faced drunk, dancing horribly on a table.*
remus: *sighing* love is blind.
james: *also shit-faced drunk, singing horribly on a makeshift stage.*
regulus: *facepalming* love is also deaf…tone-deaf.
*at james and regulus’ wedding*
everyone: aw, look at sirius, he’s gone to the back, he’s probably crying.
sirius: *dancing his little heart out because he no longer has to deal with james’ snoring or regulus’ 3 am epiphanies.*
the marauders (and their incorrect quotes writer) are very engrossed in the depp heard trial.
everyone here is team depp! (you might wanna check on snivvy though, he might be team heard. but hey! you didn’t hear it from us!)
regulus: care to explain what happened pour moi?
james: uh- oui oui, so i had a little too much café on an empty túmmy, so i had a - how do you say - panique attaque.
the marauders as the types of people you’d see on eid day! (eid at the prongs household)
wakes everyone up at 6am bc family is coming over: james.
is having the time of their life cooking in the kitchen or making all kinds of desserts: peter
spends HOURS getting ready, so they have to be woken up extra early: sirius and marlene.
gets dragged by their feet to go to eid prayers: sirius
“give me the fucking money” : remus and regulus.
hands out money in cute little envelopes: mary and lily.
uses a money shooter and enjoys watching the battle royale as everyone dives to the ground to collect as much money as possible: sirius and regulus // euphemia and fleamont.
steals all the money from the kids: dorcas.
the owner of this account, along with the marauders, would like to wish all their muslim supporters a very happy eid 🤍🤍
sirius tricked james into telling him about his relationship with regulus, regulus isn’t happy.
regulus: first things first, james here is a fucking idiot, and if he tells you anything fucking different he’s a liar and a fucking snake.
regulus: *smacks james on the forehead*
regulus: fuck you.
sirius and regulus are eavesdropping on their parents while they’re discussing politics, and are texting each other whatever they hear.
sirius: did she just say that voldy’s going to enforce a marshmallow?
regulus: a martial law, you gormless git.
regulus: james, if you didn’t sleep last night then i’m very sorry, i was thinking about you.
james, distracted by a triangle shaped grape: …the illuminati have taken over the grape industry.
james: if you all were to write a book, what would the title be?
james: ‘reasons i’m the greatest best friend in history.’
sirius: ‘the daily struggle of being sexy.’
remus: ‘the daily struggle of living with ‘sexy’.’
regulus: ‘why adult floaties are much more of a necessity than children’s ones.’
marlene: ‘how to keep ‘em wrapped around your finger, the marlene method.’
lily: ‘how to snag the richest guy in school, co-written by: remus lupin.’
mary: ‘a guide on how to outlive all your friends.’
dorcas: ‘bagging the hottest girl alive: a fool proof 6 month plan.’
peter: ‘why i demand monetary compensation for all the nights i’ve spent in detention because of ‘sexy’.’
james: what’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do?
remus: turn a bunch of kids into werewolves, just to start an army.
lily: being prejudiced against half-bloods and muggle borns whilst being a half-blood themselves.
sirius: try to conceive for years, then become abusive to the very kids they were dying to have.
james: o-oh, i was just gonna say nick my sweaters right after they said that their fashion sense is nothing like mine…
regulus: i never said, nor did such a thing.
james walks in on wolfstar.
james: bro, are you fucking serious?
sirius: i can confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.
remus: *peeks his head out from under the covers*
remus: and i can also confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.
snape is serenading lily, and it’s quite distasteful.
snape: so come run your hands through my hair, ‘cause that’s why it’s there.
sirius (to remus and james): “come run your hands through my hair”? i can make some bloody fried chicken using all that grease in it.
james is texting a sleepy regulus at 3am.
james: reg, would you still love me if i had no ears?
regulus: no, goodnight.
james: wow, you look like shit.
sirius: i stayed up till 5 am with marlene. do i regret it? yes.
sirius: but was it worth it ‘cause i got to help out a friend who needed comfort? absolutely not.