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I've been feeling out of sorts today and found myself gravitating to an album I haven't listened to since I was in secondary school. I have absolutely overplayed it though, so could only really stand 1 listen through ( and even then,I skipped the most popular of the promotional singles).
It did get me thinking about my relationship to music and to this album, however, and I've come to realise that; I have regressed in my emotional fluency, my ability to parse my emotions and to verbalise them - which is tragic because its kinda my thing; and that I relied heavily on music to communicate and my feelings in secondary school and I have lost some of that due to my listening choices of late.
I will definitely be exploring both these threads on here and in private but it's definitely jarring to realise that no matter how much I think I've improved in my emotional regulation, processing and communication, I've somehow regressed in a major contributor to my understanding of self and area of self expression.
I am going through a transitionary period in life and these thoughts are definitely common to me in times like this, and more albums from my last major transition period - graduating from secondary school, moving to a different country, beginning tertiary education - will definitely pop up in my spotify que. Hopefully I come out of this period in my life with renewed interest in musci as a medium of self exploration and that I don't accidentally trigger myself by listening to anything with strong ties to people I dont talk to anymore.