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Nihilism - Blog Posts
why do I choose the most depressing paper topics. Like I could be talking about AI or human nature or maybe even free will. But no. I choose Nietzsche. Why do I torment myself so.
When we were kids we dreamed of discovery and exploration. We dreamed of exploring the furthest reaches of the universe and the darkest depths of the oceans. We dreamed of technological advances only explored in sci-fi.
Then we learned.
We learned about unjust hatred between neighbors and families for how one person might be born. We learned about fear and greed and the destruction it leaves in it's wake.
The more we learned, the smaller those dreams grew. Now very few of us dream outside of sleep, and even our dreams are plagued with nightmares. Many of us have learned it's easier - safer - to kill our dreams than to let the disappointment consume our last shred of hope.
When we were kids we dreamed.
Now, we only dare hope to make it through the year alive.
An Essay on Nihilism and Ennui
Maybe the world is doomed. Maybe you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you were born on a train that had run of our track, long after we shot the engineers and burned the plans to lay track anew. The conductors barricaded the engine room where they hold hostage generations of coal miners who are forced to keep full steam ahead lest they be shoved into the incinerators themselves.
Maybe we can’t change any of that. I’d like to hope we can. Unfortunately hope isn’t the thing that drags your ass out of the cave you’ve collapsed into constructed of pizza boxes and soiled sheets. Drive is. Action is. Curiosity is.
Suppose we’re stuck on this train. It will crash. We will all die in a horrible fiery explosion, or succumb to the fumes first. What are you going to do in the meantime?
Here’s the thing: Life sucks and we’re all going to die. We don’t know when, we don’t know how. It feels impossible to plan for a future we have little data to prove will exist. What we do have is the interim. We can sit around and doom-scroll on our phones, or we can live life while we have it.
Plant a garden out of old coffee cans. Invite your friends over to fingerpaint on cardboard. Kiss the people you think about when you lay in bed at night. Chase an unrealistic dream, not because you believe it is possible, but because you can’t live with yourself if you never try.
That’s what you’re doing when you ingest endless content. You are simultaneously looking for the thing that will complete you, and desperately running from the voice inside that asks “what if there’s more?”
Stop. Running. Turn around. Look at the voice headlong. Dare to ask it back: “What more do I want there to be?”
Then go find it.
Taking a soft glance at a new world
I don't know how many times I have to say this:
I DON'T NEED HELP
I just want to sleep and not wake up again
Is that too hard to ask?
i get people telling me im a nihilist sometimes but im really not. i just dont shy away from talking about the “negative” parts of life because i think its an important step towards change.
i dont think we are doomed, nor do i think nothing matters. im angry. im upset. and i want change. theres a difference.
i think its dangerous to loop all angry people into nihilism.
Braavo! Braavo! Kuula, Arkadi… just niiviisi peavad tänapäeva noormehed väljenduma! Ime oleks, kui teil jüngreid poleks! Varemalt tuli noormeestel mõndagi õppida, ei tahetud ju nõmedusega kuulsaks saada, tahes-tahtmata tehti tööd. Aga nüüd tarvitseb neil vaid öelda, et kõik maailmas on rämps, - ja asi kombes. Noortel hea meel. Ja tõepoolest - enne olid nad lihtsalt tobud, nüüd aga on neist järsku saanud nihilistid.
Ivan Turgenev “Isad ja pojad” (1862)
… in that night alive with signs and stars, I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world
~ Maybe everything will reach a pointless end. Maybe there is no purpose in this existence, it is all futile. Maybe it is the last encore, without an afterlife. Maybe all we have is this last one shot. Why not find or create your own meaning? Why not make it beautiful and fill it with love and joy? Why should we fuck up it all? Why not turn it all into a prosperous, aesthetic ending?
Enjoy together the last encore!
/ Domus Aurea /
In season 14 episode 10, Nihilism, when Micheal traps Dean in his own mind while possessing Dean, he creates a fake version of Pamela along with a bar in order to keep him there. However, isn't it strange that Pamela is there, and not someone else Dean had a stronger connection to? No. In season 5 episode 16, Dark Side of the Moon (Sam and Dean go to heaven), Dean has a conversation with Pamela that makes him start thinking about saying yes to Michael, even though he doesn't end up doing so in that season.
(PAMELA: Yeah, well, close enough. Look, Dean, I’m happy. I’m at peace.
DEAN: What? Are you trying to sell me a time share? I mean, what’s with the pitch?
PAMELA: (chuckling) I know that Michael wants to take you out for a test drive.
DEAN: (interrupting) Pamela…
PAMELA: Just saying. What happens if you play ball with them? Worst case.
DEAN: A lot of people die.
PAMELA: And then they come here. Is that really so bad? Look. Maybe… you don’t have to fight it so hard. That’s all I’m trying to say.)
Pamela tells him that it wouldn't be so bad if Dean let Michael possess him. I think this is why she is in his mind prison that Michael creates in season 14. She tried to convince Dean to say yes to Michael, and almost did, therefore causing Michael to use her as a trick.
It aches, my sweet Lord! And that's my confession. I won't repent for my mania, it's your sane men, they've stung me with their sanity.
-Her Schrodinger's Cat
I dance on my own grave. Don't touch me, I'm a sacred fool. And I'm the happiest.
Her Schrodinger's Cat, Mania 2003
I wish I knew something more, felt more.Something I could put my hands on and turn it into celestial sparks. I won't lie, life is not a sane man's business. You can gaze at a lovely meadow and sink into a meditative absurdity. Or you can feel trampled down by the sky above.
Her Schrödinger's Cat, Eight Insight
Sunbeams swam across the horizon, but you nurtured a pounding wound inside your chest. You just walked away, but could barely stretch your fists at them. No you were not kind ,you were agonized. You eventually learnt to grow flowers in your eyes and creepers in your ribs and kept rowing through the same eras our ancients trailed.
Her Schrödinger's Cat, Seventh Insight
If you felt a sudden lump throbbing in your chest when your narcissistic mother yelled your name; if your tears were so vivid but they chose to ignore it; if you sat naked in front of a mirror, with legs parted and felt disgusted by your own moans; if your texts to them exceeded the limit; trust me I feel you! Please don't give up, the spring is coming!
Her Schrödinger's Cat, Sixth Insight
What if dysfunctionalities are the only sane way of living? What if abnormalities are the only norm? What if all social constructs are the most insane structures laid out to live an ideal life? What if objective reality never existed and it was a mere hallucination? What if they could hear the music Nietzsche was talking about?
-Her Schrödinger's Cat, Third Insight
Indeed, joy can be extracted even from the tiniest mortal and immortal creations. And indeed, sorrow can be inhaled within every single blink underneath the sky. The past transcends the boundaries of the present and devours every reason to leave this ephemeral juncture of bones and blood.
-Her "Schrödinger's Cat" , First Insight