Others' Utmv Cooking - Blog Posts

barely anyone uses his shapeshifting stuff to make him cute. the thought of every detail of his form being entirely nm’s choice and him choosing to look like a queen in a dress is my everything

i accidently deleted my long ask... [dead.]

i'll try again. short version: does cross deal with gender-related dysphoria? considering he grew up being forced into a certain role, which is atypical for monsters, and the fact that it was once mentioned (as an offhand comment meant as an example) in a post about monster gender expression that cross may have to lean harder into masculine representation if he wants to be gendered correctly at first sight... well, i imagine it means a lot to him to have something that was denied to him for so long, and i figure those two are correlated.

i also get the feeling he's an overall rigid guy, reflected in the way his ocd manifests, so i imagine that might very well be part a of it, as well. does he not allow himself certain things out of fear he'll be misgendered? is he overall comfortable with himself? does he ever feel like he has to overcompensate?

i tip my hat. have a nice day!

short answer: YES, jesus christ, cross has a LOT of dysphoria xD

(unrelated but i am SO flattered that you remembered that detail!)

you're right on the money though, yeah. one of cross' biggest obsessions is his self-image, and a lot of that stems from dysphoria because his dad (the source of most of this) was very much the "woman belong in the kitchen supporting real men (me)" type. the funny thing is that cross' overcompensation might not always register to us because it's all based on his understandings of human culture, which in turn comes from his father's understandings of it — it's very much a game of chinese telephone, where things have been translated nearly into meaninglessness based only on second-hand observation. that is to say: most humans would only see a monster mimicking "human culture" with info clearly from movies and books, and since monsters are naturally extremely social, that isn't really seen as weird.

the most immediate (and comical) example that comes to mind: when it comes to alcohol, cross will ONLY drink beer.

does he LIKE beer? no; he thinks it tastes like rotten bread. he only drinks it because humans (specifically the kind of english-speaking cultures his father took inspiration from) say it's masculine, and he doesn't want cute guys and gals at the bar to see him drinking some fruity cocktail and come talking to him like he's a woman. he also doesn't tell anyone he bakes, to such an extent that it takes multiple years of knowing him (or a really, really bad sleep schedule) to finally catch him doing it. he used to wear a headscarf as a kid (because his dad insisted and he was too young to realize why), and he actually DID like how that looked on him, but the second he realized it made people see him Wrong he burned it and never touched another one.

(the second, admittedly sadder example: cross is bisexual, but he never dates anyone, and only ever flirts with women. he's heard and seen that humans see gay men as lesser feminine, and he's not secure enough in his own self image to risk it. god FUCKING forbid anyone finds out he wants to bottom; he would literally rather die.)

this is actually one of the many reasons that tension develops between him and abaddon; abaddon threatens everything he knows in (many) more ways than one, but the fact that they're an extremely secure trans guy on top of that is just spit on his fucking ice cream.

i accidently deleted my long ask... [dead.]

i'll try again. short version: does cross deal with gender-related dysphoria? considering he grew up being forced into a certain role, which is atypical for monsters, and the fact that it was once mentioned (as an offhand comment meant as an example) in a post about monster gender expression that cross may have to lean harder into masculine representation if he wants to be gendered correctly at first sight... well, i imagine it means a lot to him to have something that was denied to him for so long, and i figure those two are correlated.

i also get the feeling he's an overall rigid guy, reflected in the way his ocd manifests, so i imagine that might very well be part a of it, as well. does he not allow himself certain things out of fear he'll be misgendered? is he overall comfortable with himself? does he ever feel like he has to overcompensate?

i tip my hat. have a nice day!

short answer: YES, jesus christ, cross has a LOT of dysphoria xD

(unrelated but i am SO flattered that you remembered that detail!)

you're right on the money though, yeah. one of cross' biggest obsessions is his self-image, and a lot of that stems from dysphoria because his dad (the source of most of this) was very much the "woman belong in the kitchen supporting real men (me)" type. the funny thing is that cross' overcompensation might not always register to us because it's all based on his understandings of human culture, which in turn comes from his father's understandings of it — it's very much a game of chinese telephone, where things have been translated nearly into meaninglessness based only on second-hand observation. that is to say: most humans would only see a monster mimicking "human culture" with info clearly from movies and books, and since monsters are naturally extremely social, that isn't really seen as weird.

the most immediate (and comical) example that comes to mind: when it comes to alcohol, cross will ONLY drink beer.

does he LIKE beer? no; he thinks it tastes like rotten bread. he only drinks it because humans (specifically the kind of english-speaking cultures his father took inspiration from) say it's masculine, and he doesn't want cute guys and gals at the bar to see him drinking some fruity cocktail and come talking to him like he's a woman. he also doesn't tell anyone he bakes, to such an extent that it takes multiple years of knowing him (or a really, really bad sleep schedule) to finally catch him doing it. he used to wear a headscarf as a kid (because his dad insisted and he was too young to realize why), and he actually DID like how that looked on him, but the second he realized it made people see him Wrong he burned it and never touched another one.

(the second, admittedly sadder example: cross is bisexual, but he never dates anyone, and only ever flirts with women. he's heard and seen that humans see gay men as lesser feminine, and he's not secure enough in his own self image to risk it. god FUCKING forbid anyone finds out he wants to bottom; he would literally rather die.)

this is actually one of the many reasons that tension develops between him and abaddon; abaddon threatens everything he knows in (many) more ways than one, but the fact that they're an extremely secure trans guy on top of that is just spit on his fucking ice cream.

here's a question i've had before: how does monster aging work in mtau?

for example, horror is 58 yrs old if i remember correctly, does that make him relatively old or is their lifespan usually longer than humans'? (i imagine average lifespans also differ between boss monsters and the rest)

TAU horror is 54, but close!

i'm pretty sure i've talked about monster aging before but i can't remember where the post is — TLDR; a monster's llfespan depends on how much mana it generates, which typically correlates (at least roughly) to its size. it also isn't a straight graph of "more magic = more life", because mana slowly wears down a monster's leylines similarly to how oxygen slowly "burns" our cells; there's a sweet spot in the middle where you can have enough mana to live a long time but not enough to burn your body and SOUL alive from the inside.

(and you're correct: most boss monsters normally sit somewhere around this sweet spot, hence their longevity irrespective of size. :>)

how quickly an overabundance of mana can kill you also depends on the type of body you have, which is why it's important to consider the "race" of monster. ghosts and skeletons, for example, don't have a lot of physical matter even by monster standards, which means that even though their leylines play a more important role in their bodies they're also more resistant to those leylines getting worn down. this corresponds to the idea of "undead" monsters living a very long time.

(...that said, the point where a monster reaches "maturity" also depends on the type of monster. generally speaking, more humanoid monsters will reach maturity rouuuughly the same time as a human — maybe a bit older or younger. this is, again, more to do with the size of the monster than the shape; if a monster was humanoid but also the size of a cup they'd probably reach maturity in just a few weeks. but most humanoid monsters in undertale are also humanoid in size, so... let's take that as a hesitant norm across most universes.)

anyway, with that out of the way, and given the context that all of the pantheon members (obviously save abaddon and nightmare) are boss monsters (lots of mana) AND skeletons (not a lot of physical matter to burn), this means that their lifespans are naturally going to be very, very long. like, at least a couple thousand years a piece. (which seems overbalanced until you remember that skeletons are typically pretty rare in their home universes; seeing more than 3-5 in one spot would normally be very strange, multiversal shenanigans aside.) HORROR, however, comes from an anomalous universe where monsters are made of flesh and blood instead of dust, which means that he does have a lot of matter — and that unfortunately means that he is going to have one of the shortest lifespans on the team besides dust himself, who already suffers heavy leyline damage from the condition he has that causes his body to overproduce mana.

all that to say: horror is still pretty young by skeleton standards, but he'll probably only live a couple hundred years (if he's lucky) as opposed to the more typical few thousand. that's not to say that he's a child, either, of course — all of the skeletons are well past the age of maturity, and in that way "their" 54 isn't really different from 54 in a human — but he's not quite on his deathbed yet, so no need to worry.

so i'd say horror (specifically) is like... late 20's, in human years?

hey, how're you doing? hope you're well.

i scrolled through the mtau tag and saw the thing about secondary sex characteristics in skeletons (both in general and in cross' case): about how they have 'marks' around their eyes which is usually seen as a "female" characteristic for skeletons... that got me super intrigued. i love the thing abt monsters having much freer sex and gender expressions, makes a lot of sense, with the souls and all, but it did get me thinking...

if skeletons can be categorized into seperate sexes at all, then

a) how does that work if they don't have genitalia (just bones)? do they categorize skeletons into male/female/other based on the markings and that's it? so, skeletons would then define sexes not based primarily on genitalia, like humans, but based primarily on eye markings or lack thereof. and in the case of ecto-bodies, because from what i've gathered they can summon genitals with their ecto,

b) you said most monsters are hermaphroditic to begin with; are skeletons one of those? if so, how does sex categorization work in that case? and if they don't have 'both' parts by default, are they just stuck with specific junk that "aligns" with what they'd be categorized as? (so, basically how humans tend to do it)

additional questions: would the last question being correct imply that intersex monsters exist?? additionally, bcs i must ask, can skeletons "choose" what junk they'll have when they summon their ecto bodies, or is that more of a "you get what you got" kinda deal? (the glossary does say that monsters are much more malleable physiologically, because mana and all...)

srry if this is kind of rambly, i guess my point is, i'm loving this and i especiqlly wanna know how cross' transgenderism would work. if monsters as a society are generally very open and less rigorous than humans, and not only that, but also physically much less "black and white" [through some humans' lens]... then what does "being trans" mean for a monster? for a skeleton?

if any of this is spoilers or you don't have it figured out yet feel free to leave it out. but i love that you made cross being trans canon to your story and i'd love to know how you go about the whole cis/transgender concepts based off the rules you've set for your world. i'm super autistic about your autismtic love-project

have a fantastic day. also if i had money i'd give you a bunch. stay safe

wow! i have to say i've been feeling really crummy these past few weeks, so opening tumblr to see this ask really made my day. sorry for the delay in answering it -- you gave me a lot to think about xD

as usual, for a longer ask like this i'll break out the proper formatting:

1: How are skeleton monsters categorized into sexes at birth if (a): they have no visible genitalia and (b): hermaphroditic is default?

Typically, monsters are not gendered for the first few years of their lives -- even if they, like Cross*, are born with "secondary sex" features like "feminine markings". I went over this a bit in another post talking about markings, but most monsters default to "it" (or sometimes "they"**) when uncertain of someone's gender. *Cross is from a very atypical universe, and his dad kind of worships humanity as the standard, hence him being assigned female based on his markings. Such practices are not the norm. Typically, a monster will start experimenting with gender presentation around 4 or 5 years old, depending on their lifespan, and probably decide on something permanent around 8 or 9 -- until such a decision is reached and announced, neutral is default. **For monsters, being "dehumanized" isn't usually a negative thing. It's more typical to use "it" for very un-humanoid monsters like rocks or slimes and "they" for more humanoid ones like goats or skeletons, hence why monsters defaulted to "they" for Frisk and Chara, but might use "it" elsewhere. It's just a cultural thing.

2: (Clarification) Are skeleton monsters hermaphroditic by default?

Yes, in most universes. Some AUs will see monsters in general with more human-aligned sex characteristics, skeletons included.

3: Can skeleton monsters choose what genitalia they will have when forming an ecto body, or are they "stuck" with their default?

First, being able to form and maintain a fullbody ecto construct is more of a boss monster thing than a skeleton monster thing -- it just so happens that in most universes, Sans and Papyrus are the only skeleton monsters left alive, and they are both bosses, yes. I say this to clarify that not all skeletons are bosses by default, so not all skeletons would be able to form full genitals or bodies at all. Second -- most of the time, yes, a mature boss monster will have enough control to choose the genitalia that will form! This depends on the boss and the AU, though; one from one of the more human-aligned AUs mentioned above may not be able to choose, but that isn't really the norm. Most can. It's just a matter of preference... and maybe magical skill and mana production. Ecto can be a bit tricky.

4: Can intersex monsters exist?

The current definition of "intersex" from what I could find, according to the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, is presenting sex characteristics that "do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies". It's more complicated than that, and I'll get into that in a second, but TLDR; in order to be intersex, there must be a binary -- so since most universes don't see monsterkind adhering to a strict binary, in most AUs there would therefore be no intersex monsters. (Not because mixed sex characteristics cannot exist in monsters, but because monsters don't care to differentiate someone because of that.) The complexity I mentioned earlier is this: the difference between "intersex" and "hermaphrodite". Hermaphrodite is basically having a fully functional set of "both" genitals, where intersex is having a mixed set of characteristics that aren't necessarily each capable of reproduction. (Not that the intersex person cannot reproduce, but that they cannot both impregnate someone else and they themselves carry a pregnancy -- just one or the other.) A monster is, by default, capable of both insemination and carrying a pregnancy, so to be intersex would be to imply that they somehow had a SOUL incapable of doing one method of reproduction, which shows up sometimes in some universes but very much isn't the norm. Furthermore, things get more complex here when you consider that monsters don't typically use their genitals for reproduction in the first place -- given that humans base the idea of "sex" (and therefore the concept of being intersex) entirely on genitals, it's difficult to say whether or not a monster could qualify.

5: How does Cross being trans work? How does being trans work for skeletons in general, or even for monsters as a whole?

I covered this a little bit in question 1, but to reiterate: Cross is from a very atypical universe, and his father based a lot of that AU on human customs. Cross' experience with being trans is therefore very similar to what a human would experience -- his father decided he was a woman based on some arbitrary bullshit (in this case, face markings that are typically only seen on female-presenting skeletons), Cross got old enough to realize that was wrong and started fighting it, and despite his dad wanting to throw the mother of all pissy fits to get him to conform, he ultimately had more urgent matters (everything with the X Event) to attend to and therefore Cross "got away with it" long enough to get out of there. As for other monsters, though, it's... different. I don't think most monsters really have the concept of being trans -- the closest are probably ghost monsters, but even then the similarities are mostly allegorical. That's not to say that monsters don't ever transition between genders, just that for them, doing so isn't a big enough deal to even blip the radar; not everyone is right about everything they decide on at 8 or 9 years old, after all, so if later someone decides to start wearing dresses and makeup and go by a different name, that's really the end of it. Everyone switches and moves on. To make a better comparison to the social significance I'm talking about, it's like if someone dressed exclusively in White Girl Fall Fashion for a few years and then suddenly switched to, like, Camo -- people will probably notice that, and some might even ask about it, but ultimately, like, who cares that they're wearing camo now? (For example, I think in a lot of universes Alphys is a trans woman; Toby originally designed her as a man and just added eyelashes to change her design into a woman. I just don't think that would be a big enough blip on anyone's radar to even really be a talking point. Just like -- "Oh yeah, I heard the royal scientist is a woman now. I sure hope her experiment goes well so I can see my family soon!) I think whether or not a monster even knew what "trans" was would probably generally depend on if they were from a Post-Emergence timeline and how long they spent on the surface around humans, or else how deeply that human culture seeped into the Underground via the dump (and how that particular human culture viewed transness.) For example, I don't think Horror or Dust really know much about it (or care), Nightmare knows of it but cares even less than most monsters do, but Killer's crossdressing is a bit more consciously subvertive because he's from Saudi Arabia (which historically does not have the best views towards queer people, to put it gently), and Cross is the only one who has a really "human" view on sex/gender. (Aside from Abaddon now, obviously xD) I think you could maybe consider Killer some flavor of transfemm/genderqueer, but I wouldn't personally know what to label him given that he defaults to masculine pronouns and presentation. But for most skeletons I have to say it's pretty much the same as any other monster; they might change presentation at any time or have any mix of "typical" sex characteristics, but ultimately if they say to call them "he" then you know that's what's correct. And it's not really a huge deal; monsters don't really fixate on that kind of thing.

anyway, i really love getting asks like this, so thank you so much! i'm super flattered that you like my world qwq

Sorry if this is an annoying question, but I think I remember you saying that abbadon was a trans-man? (Or trans-masc?) If so, does this ever come up, or is it just a fun fact for the audience to know?

abaddon is a trans man, yes! i believe that miiiiiiight be in his carrd bio, but i don't wanna go look at said bio until i have the energy to do whatever revamping i deem necessary, so i'm not sure at the moment.

specifically, the name for abaddon's identity would be "agender male". some people would describe the experience as being "mostly agender, a little male", but for abaddon it's more like... "male, but not that way". if asked about their own gender, of course, they would just say male — for them, gender is just another social construct they don't really understand or care for, but they do know the impact it has on how people perceive them, and further ostracization would be very detrimental to their goals. they don't even tell people their pronouns, usually; they just don't correct "he" or "they" when they come up xD

i'd say that abaddon's transness doesn't come up suuuuper often in the story, or at least it's not planned to? (besides some drama with cross down the line, that is, and maybe some discussion with killer.) i could see it being mentioned during any sex scenes, not just because "hey i might not have the genitals you're expecting" is an appropriate thing to bring up to someone you want to bang, but because abaddon, being an asexual trans man, has some pretty significant vaginal atrophy that he's absolutely uninterested in getting treated — which of course means that vaginal penetration isn't really possible for him.

...and for reference on that last note, because i don't see people talking about this a lot with transmasc characters: vaginal atrophy isn't something you necessarily need to get treated, provided your personal symptoms don't bother you. (which they probably won't if you don't plan on having sex or masturbating vaginally.) vaginal atrophy just means that your vagina isn't getting "enough" estrogen (something that also happens to post-menopausal people) and therefore kind of shrivels up into "do not disturb" mode, which involves being smaller, dryer, and more easily irritated. of course, everyone's body is unique so the symptoms of vaginal atrophy can be more uncomfortable to some people than others, in which case it's pretty easy to treat with some topical estrogen cream — but since i've seen "atrophic vaginitis" thrown around a bit as a scary buzzword by people who undoubtedly confuse "atrophy" with "necrosis", i thought i'd take a second to clarify.

if you're asking this because you're worried about transphobia against abaddon being a significant plot point, though, don't worry. most of TAU's cast are monsters, and monsters in TAU barely understand what transness is, let alone have a negative opinion on it. the exception to this is probably just X!Gaster, but at this moment i'm not even sure if he'll show up in TAU by any other way than passing mentions xD