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he is least my favourite sacrificial lamb because he is so sweet and innocent. i put the cold harsh blade against his throat and his eyes are so clear when they look up at me. he doesn't even think to reproach me for the horrors i put him through. he forgives and he forgives and he forgives.
my favourite sacrificial lamb fights. he bleats for all he is worth and tries to run away on his skinny coltish legs. his eyes are older than they should be and i can see the anger of every lamb before him in them. he makes me feel sorry for what i have to do.
because that is how it needs to be. i need to feel pain and regret and responsibility for the sacrifice to work. if i don't feel disgusted at my actions then there is nothing to cleanse and purify.
fight and scream little lambs, never let us take you easily. if you die quietly we will never feel the guilt, and it will be for nothing.
and then at night i kneel and i pray, not to the god for whom i commit these atrocities, but to the lambs skipping across the inky sky.
ignosce mihi little lambs, just not for this.