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Yesterday was the first time I wasn't upset with waking up without shifting. I tried right after we got home from Watchung the eclipse. I was tired. When I feel a certain kind of tired, which might sound strange, I know I'm gonna have a lidic dream or at least a vivid dream, and I did! I didn't shift like I wanted, but I got to ser my s/o, and I woke up happy! I literally said "nice that's the first step to shifting!" And I just went about my day. I'm proud of myself and my growth
So in a different post I mentioned having relationship stuff and I was in one. He was a bit clingy and wanted to talk and hang out all the time and it took me away from shifting. It wasn't for me u didn't like thst I didn't seem to get space and for other reasons I ended jt.
Now, I can focus on shifting again, and it was a nice break. It think I needed to be at ease last night. I dreamt of my s/o, and it was lovely. I'm just scared off feeling suffocated in a relationship there even though I know I'll feel completely different their then I do here
Relationship stuff is so strange to me. I love thinking about being with my S/o. Cuddling, kissing, yk couple stuff. Thoigh when it happened to me here I get... weird.
I'm talking to a guy and he's super sweet. He's the first person who's actually treated me right and I'm not even sure if u like him the way he likes me. It's like I either get scared and want to run or I just don't have those feelings and I'm not sure I've ever had with people.
That's something I'm scared of for in my dr. Cause I love Simon. I do. And I know with the magic of shifting realities, I'll actually feel it because anything is possible. But for me here. It's not something I really experience. If any of that makes sesne
I'm really just using this app for ranting and writing down my thoughts. Sorry if that's annoying
My mental health has been really bad the past couple months and I feel like it's getting worse tbh. I want to shift. Not to just get rid of it like magic. So I can learn to work though it and heal myself in a safe way with someone I can lean on for support like I don't have here.
Just a tiny rant ig
I had a dream the other night about correcting people about my name. They kept calling my my cr name, so I told them, no my name is "Ena" which is my Dr name. It felt so weird being called that but I really liked it lol
I'm trying to think about more details for my call of duty dr which is my main Dr.
Things in trying to figure out is which part of England woild I live in? In my Dr I'm from Ireland thoigh my families moved to England when I was around idk between 6-14
I imagine my parents have g a farm in the countryside, and I'm loving in an apartment in a bigger town/city thoigh I know very little about England and would love some help lol