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You’re the salt air, I’m the suitcase
One way ticket to a new a place
You can zip up
All of my of love
But it would spill out
Cause it weighs too much
Buck is sat on Eddie’s couch, the revelation that Eddie too is leaving sinking in deep. He’ll be getting on a plane and heading off to Texas, another person Buck cares greatly for leaving. He can’t leave though, sure he doesn’t want to miss out on more of Christopher’s big moments but Buck needs him like he needs air to live. The two of them are intertwined in every sense of being, wherever Eddie is Buck is sure to follow but Texas is too far Buck can’t leave behind the 118, he can’t leave his family. Eddie is the person who gets him, Eddie knows everything about Buck and vice versa he can’t just leave like that, no, no, no he can’t just be gone like that, like it’s as easy as that, Eddie isn’t Abby. He doesn’t know what is causing him to feel like this, yes Eddie was, is his best friend but this isn’t how someone reacts to a friend leaving.
Eddie comes over and sits next to Buck handing him a coffee which he takes and sets the tablet down. “So is this gonna be a forever thing? Why not try to convince him to come back instead of going the whole route of moving?” Buck breaks the brief silence, he hates how clingy he sounds, how needy. “You know how it’s been lately Buck, he barely talks to me let alone enough to have that kinda conversation with him,” Eddie sounds so dejected, the tiredness in his voice reaches into Buck’s chest and grips his heart tightly.
The two talked for a while discussing houses while Buck slowly died inside as he was forced to deal with the fact that he was losing his best friend. Sure they’d probably text and call but he knew how that ended, he’d seen it happen with Abby, they grew out of touch, didn’t talk after a couple of months and nothing had ever hurt Buck that badly, not his parents negligence, not leaving Maddie, not any of his breakups, this pain was raw and cut to the core of his very being and it hadn’t even happened yet, Eddie was still next to him. Why did it hurt so bad?
I’d wait, forever in your hallway
Change your colors, start to wonder, paint it over
Or stay the same
It happened, Eddie left. The house was sold, all his belongings in boxes gone, no trace of him ever being there other than the contact in Buck’s phone and the gaping hole in his being. Buck felt like it was Abby all over again but Eddie wasn’t Abby, he wouldn’t abandon Buck, right? Why did he feel this way, they were nothing more than friends so why did he feel like a brokenhearted lover? Eddie had texted him once he landed, letting Buck know he was safe but Buck couldn’t bring himself to reply, he shut off his phone and tossed it on his nightstand.
A few weeks later Buck found himself standing in the hallway outside the empty apartment that Eddie once called home, he didn’t even realize his feet had brought him there until someone tapped his shoulder and asked if he was looking into buying. He had unconsciously gone to seek out Eddie in his shitty mindset, looking for comfort in his best friend but miles now separated them.
Buck wakes at 12 on a Sunday, what’s meant to be a peaceful day off is started with a crushing headache from the binge drinking he’d done the night before, his phone buzzes on the nightstand Eddie’s contact displayed on the screen for a second before it goes away and he’s met with the notifications of multiple missed calls and unanswered texts from Eddie. Buck doesn’t think as he grabs the device and calls Eddie back, the line connects immediately. “Buck, Jesus Christ are you okay?!” Eddie’s voice is relieved yet frantic and Buck can only groan in response as it makes his head throb, he pulls the phone back a bit to quiet it. “I’m fine, did something happen? Why’d you call so many times?” Buck yawns. “Did something happen- Buck you texted me at two in the morning saying ‘I love you and I’m sorry’ where the hell did that come from? I thought you were going to kill yourself or something! You can’t scare me like that man.” “I did?” Buck pulls the phone down all the way and puts the call on speaker, opening his and Eddie’s chat. He finds the text, passing over all of Eddie’s frantic texts. “I guess I did…I don’t remember sending that or anything, god did I really drink that much last night? I dunno, but sorry Eddie I didn’t mean to worry you.” “Buck seriously are you okay? Bobby, Hen, and Chim have all texted me asking if I know what’s going on with you. And don’t bullshit me here, are you okay?” “I’m fine Eddie,” Buck lies through his teeth, “just dealing with a few minor things, I don’t know why they’re all so worried.” “Buck. They wouldn’t text if it was something minor.” “Maybe they texted you cause you’re my best friend Eddie, I talk to you about everything you know I wouldn’t hide anything from you even if I wanted to.” “Evan, you don’t make habit of drinking until you don’t remember what the hell happened and you don’t casually drop I love you’s dr-” the call suddenly cuts out and Buck curses as his phone dies and plugs it in.
Buck doesn’t bother to call back and gets up and goes to the bathroom. He stares at himself in the mirror after washing his hands, he doesn’t recognize the person staring back at him, the figure's hair is unkempt and his stubble grown out, dark bags rest under his dull eyes. Who has he become?
Chat I wrote this at early hours of the morning by bad if this is ass
Please help I want this to have some form of comfort I’m open to any ideas I kinda wanna make it so Buck shows up to Texas but idk
This is not the full work