Thoguhts - Blog Posts

Ok y’all…

I’ve been blessed by the AO3 gods an decided to come out of my hibernation to write about this…situation… 👀

I’d love to hear y’all’s thoughts about Sand and Boeing’s backstory.

Honestly, I just feel bad for Sand in this situation, cause, yes, he could’ve set clear boundaries, but we’ve already established that he’s too nice and forgiving. And, to me, he honestly seemed pretty uncomfortable whenever he interacted with Boeing…

You know what would solve 97% of all these folks problems?

.

.

.

A polycule.

Like…

Once I reached your hand, the voices vanished into nothing. The world quieted as my body rested like a baby in a dream— full of you, and a happier me.

Was it always this warm? Is it really my duvet, or did you reach the child in me, build her a shelter where all her fears could finally fall asleep— settle and feel at home?

Drowned head to toe, Left breathless, but still filled with it. It’s like the feeling I have towards you, Slowly, gradually, consuming the cells, consuming the air.. Used to the pull, Didn't try to swim away, Until I forgot I was drowning. My mind floats high, My soul drifts weightless, Until suddenly— The water disappears. Was it ever here? It’s your hands, Reaching through the surface. Maybe I was never really drowning, Maybe it was always you I was submerged in, And yet my hands choose yours, As a way to survive this.

It's thoughtful how, as you grow older, each day reveals that to feel, to experience, is the true goal of life—the meaning of everything. To be alive is to feel down, loved, empty, happy...

It's all part of life, your life, your precious experience.

Of all the things that remind me of love, cats are at the top of the list. Their eyes hold something different, something enchanting, like a silent understanding of the world around them. They love in their own way—warm, selfish, and a little bratty, like a child who thinks you belong to them. Sometimes, they act like your baby, sometimes like your boss. Every single one of them has a personality that makes me want to meet them all, build a whole cat family, and just exist among them.

Orange cats are pure chaos, but somehow the softest souls. White cats carry themselves like royalty, too elegant to bother with the rest of the world. Gray cats act all calm and collected, but they’re little troublemakers once you know them. Black cats hold a quiet kind of love, the kind that feels steady and safe. And tuxedo cats walk around like they own the place, like they just left a fancy dinner party and decided to grace us with their presence.

Every cat feels like a reflection of someone, a reminder of a certain kind of soul. And the best thing about them? When one chooses you, they’re yours forever. They love in a way that’s awkward yet endearing, poking at you when you’re sad, pulling away just to come right back. And the way they get jealous when you pet another cat? Nothing beats that.

There’s nothing quite like having a cat in your life, feeding them, talking to them, sharing a space where words aren’t needed. In a way, they remind me of my inner child—curious, stubborn, and full of love in ways that don’t always make sense. Maybe every cat carries a little piece of someone, a little piece of us. But all I know is, I love them, and I’ll never get tired of saying it.

You reach a point where nothing means anything...

Your mind stops questioning,

but your heart still aches.

You have no energy to rebuild, and maybe you don’t want to..

Because sometimes, pain is the only thing left,and your stubborn soul refuses to let it go.

You're just here, aching,

hoping that, eventually, everything will make sense on its own.

But maybe the fire means you're alive— deeply alive. That even when it hurts this much, it's proof of your ability to love, to feel, to be human in a way that's raw and real.

I realize this love isn't a fleeting thought, but something that only grows stronger with each passing day. It's not just a feeling—it's a commitment, one that has no end in sight. No matter how much time passes, day by day, I fall for you anew.

Don't Cry—Two Versions, Two Souls..

I’ve been listening to these songs for two years now, and I still can’t move on!! Ever had a song completely wreck you? Well, Don’t Cry by Guns N’ Roses did it twice. Two versions, same name, same story—but they hit so differently. And I feel both. Every. Single. Time.

I first heard the Alternative Version, and the very first line hit me like a truck. "If we could see tomorrow, what are your plans?" It made me stop and think—if I could see my future, would I still be this lost? Would I still be stuck in my own head? Would I finally have answers? And when he says, "Knowing your love's decided, and all love is real," it messes me up. Is love really the main point of life? Is it what makes us want to live ?and feel safe & alive?

And the pain in this version—it’s not just about heartbreak. It’s about realizing something heartbreaking. "I thought I could live in your world as years all went by." That’s when it gets too real... The feeling of trying—really trying—to be part of someone's world, only to realize you never truly belonged there. And when he says,

"My heart won’t deny you. So many seem so lonely with no one left to cry to," I feel that. He’s letting go, but not for himself—for the other person. Because real love isn’t just about having someone, it’s about wanting them to be happy, even if it’s not with you and the fact ( WORST FACT EVERRR ) that YES! Some people have no one.....

Then there’s the Original Version. And this one? This one is different. Softer. Warmer. It’s love, even in goodbye. The first line? "Talk to me softly, there's something in your eyes." That’s the kind of love that sees you, that notices when you’re hurting without you even saying a word. He doesn’t want them to hold their pain alone. He just wants them to talk. To be heard. To be understood.

And the way he holds on—"Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye." That one sentence carries everything. It’s like he knows they have to part, but he just wants one last moment before it’s over. It’s not bitter. It’s not angry. It’s just love. And the most heartbreaking part????

"There's a heaven above you, baby." Like, no matter how painful this is, there’s something bigger, something watching over us. Maybe love never really dies—it just shifts, moves, finds another way to exist through this heaven

And that’s why these songs will never leave me. It’s genius. Two songs, same story, yet completely different perspectives. One is holding on, the other is realizing. One is still soft, even when it’s over. The other is questioning everything, wondering if it was ever real.

I still listen and I still feel everything. This is what music is supposed to do. This is why it’s a masterpiece.

Every time I catch myself running through life instead of actually living it, I wonder—am I truly living or just moving? Have I spent my days meaningfully, or have they just slipped away without me noticing?

It makes me think… how many of my best days have I buried without even realizing it?

I’ve had thousands of conversations with you in my mind, loving the version of you that no longer exists. In these conversations, you’re still the person I once knew—warm, caring, and easy to talk to. We talk about things we never got the chance to say out loud, and somehow, everything feels right again. In this other world, we exist in a space where time doesn’t change us. It's a place where the version of you I love is still alive, untouched by the passing of time or the distance between us.

Nothing is eternal, yet I find myself longing for your eyes to hold mine in an endless gaze, as everything else fades away.

They said I have to stop the world if I want to stop the feeling.

And here I am, standing at its edge—

The whole world has come to a halt, yet I remain like a river, refusing to flow anywhere but to you.