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wow, getting myself into community space, and seeing people living their lives and being kind and just being human is so good for my soul
endless consumption leaves no room for thought or solitude or reflection or doing anything meaningful, no wonder I feel like a fucking waste of space. But even though I see this connection, I can't find it in myself to stop.
(see also: behavioral addiction)
(also see also: reread dopamine nation 👀. also probably digital minimalism and relentless elimination of hurry)
It’s all ephemeral and transitory and I feel unmoored and adrift with an overwhelming desire to be anchored and secure.
I feel like I’m swirling in this world of ideas and experiences, and I want to reach out and grasp them and capture the abstract with language. The expand and contract - get all of the thoughts and ideas into one place, and then break it down, organize it, understand it; and condense it back down to something cohesive.
But there are two many things there are too many things and ideas and people and complex interactions and relationships and how do you even begin to know where to start, how to start?
I feel like I’m being crushed
I love getting wrapped up in and enthralled with a story, but it also feels unproductive. Leaves me feeling like lack of motion or progress in actual life. Needs to be in balance with the rest of my priorities. I have a strong immediacy and recency bias, compounded with primarily extrinsic motivation makes me feel unmoored and ephemeral and also stagnant.