Transhet - Blog Posts

wesley and buttercup were t4t i dont make the rules

Before I worked through my internalized transphobia and accepted myself as trans masc (bc it was either that or end my life), I was living life as a bi woman and whether it's then or now I have never been able to fathom dating or even casually fucking a cishet person, who was not queer in some way, shape or form.

To want to be with someone who I'm not able to connect with (even if it's just casual sex) about being queer, I just can't relate to that, I've never been able to and it's always left me wondering what that's like/ why was it so easy for some people but not me - what's the perspective that they have but I don't, you know?

Especially considering the friends that I have who are bi women that have predominantly been with cishet dudes (doesn't make them any less bi/queer so don't think you got an excuse to be biphobic in the comments!) and that's never even been an aspect that they considered. Like what? You really don't even think about the connection and safety that can come with being with someone who gets it?

(don't get me wrong that's not the only reason or anything, the other one being my preferences in bed would definitely NOT align with that of your average cishet dude's)

It's just something that has never ceased to genuinely amaze me I guess and every now and then that question pops back up in my head.

What is it like to not require that connection/safety/understanding? And why have I always felt the overwhelming need to have it?