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Another game I inevitably play when we talk is called.
"Don't accidentally confess, while being her warmth".
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Happy holidays loves
The NI Series (1): Noble Idiocy Is Neither Noble Nor Idiotic
Admin’s Message: Hello Tumblr followers, thank you for reading The Asian Drama Philosopher (A-Philosopher)’s Chair all this while! As a special treat for everyone, the Chair is inviting bloggers from different backgrounds to share their views on the relationship between culture and drama writing. First up is well-known K-drama commentator samsooki, who is of Korean heritage. Enjoy his breezy writing and express your support for him.
written by samsooki
Well, you know it was coming. It is episode 12 or 13 of your favorite k-drama romcom, after all. The other kdrama shoe known as “noble idiocy,” must drop.
The Setup. It has taken a dozen heart-tugging episodes, and a half of a lifetime from the time they attended the same elementary school, but the protagonists (let’s pick names – Bob and Mary) have defeated both (a) the evil scheming uncle who wants to take over the chaebol board of directors, and (b) the crazy ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who won’t take no for an answer. After weeks of Wed-Thurs cliffhangers, Bob and Mary have finally become the OTP (One True Pairing) that we always hoped would happen! Ooooh, but what twist hath fate wrought upon our starstruck couple! The protagonists suddenly find themselves in a quandary – an unexpected and inexorable something (probably a dormant cancer, orphanage secret, and/or a chaebol proxy fight) is standing in the way of their happiness ever after! What, if anything, can be done?
The Western Solution. From a Western structural standpoint, the path toward Bob’s and Mary’s resolution includes: (1) forthright communication, (2) working together to assuage each other’s fears, (3) gaining mutual strength for the Final Showdown, and (4) ending the cycle of individual misdirection by forgiveness and trust. Seems pretty self-explanatory, doesn’t it? All they have to do is work together!
The K-Drama Response. Noooo, we must be far more complicated. Bob and Mary must be cliven asunder by a unilateral and preemptive decision made by one of them as a dramatic score plays in the background, followed by heartbreaking preview scenes of “why isn’t he/she answering my texts” angst. The first of Bob and Mary to blink away his or her single, pretty tear must leave Korea, forever, or at least a very long time. Further, there must not be any further communication of any kind for at least a year, perhaps three. Finally, each must suffer and cry alone while reminiscing through montage clips, wondering if fate will be kinder in future lifetimes. And in the end, what appeared to be a noble effort to cause less pain, has now caused more, idiotically. Let the sardonic eye-rolls, the knowing sighs of disbelief and cynical anti-tropist over-reaction commence. Yes indeed, it is the kdrama trope of noble idiocy.
Surely, the kdrama’s PD (the production director) and the writers can do better? But maybe, what we believe to be a crutch for unoriginal writing isn’t what we think it is at all. Perhaps the writers are merely introducing and then reinforcing an Asian principle that Koreans have long since internalized.
What is going on here?
a. Western Perspective – Y’all Are Noble Idiots. The Western view, of course, is based on perspectives heavily influenced by individualism and discrete ethics. In the Western view, each person is responsible for his or her actions and no more. The Westerner would look at Bob’s silly actions and argue that, even if Bob initially believed that his own happiness would be greater if Mary is not burdened by Bob’s problems, how can Bob leaving the country without a word to Mary be the proper method for achieving such happiness? And if Bob were acting in such a way for Mary’s happiness, surely Bob would not believe that he would be making Mary happier if he left her in a frozen state of uncertainty for years, perhaps forever? Pure madness and counter-productive!
b. Korean Perspective – You Don’t Understand Our Worldview. Surely, then, Koreans with their 5,000 year history, would know better by now! Hmm, perhaps they do, though? By way of background - the Korean worldview is framed by a Confucian philosophy integrally woven into every part of Korean society. On whatever level, the general principle is the same – a person’s highest duty is to take responsibility for those who follow such person. This is true of familial relationships (parent to child, spouse to spouse, sibling to sibling), educational and corporate relationships (seniors to juniors) and political governance (ruler to subjects) as well. This worldview dominates Korean thinking. It is the reason why one’s age is so important, and why honorifics are critical to conversation, even between family members. One must always know who should be taking responsibility for whom, and likewise, who should be following and who should be leading. It is the reason that students address one another by titles like sunbae (one’s senior) and hoobae (one’s junior) and that words like oppa and noona mean so much more than their literal meaning. Family, friendships, corporations and even nations are held together by this principle of taking responsibility for those who follow you. Is it any shock that this principle also applies between lovers as well?
Of course, one can argue that romantic relationships should not necessarily follow the Confucian philosophy, especially not in the post-modern age. My counter is that as true as that argument might be, Bob and Mary are not yet a couple at this stage in the kdrama. As such, each of Bob and Mary is likely to fall back upon traditional relational notions to deal with the other of them.
Taken to its logical conclusion then, Bob cannot simply ask Mary to (1) share in the burden of the obstacle, and (2) work together to deal with the OTP crisis. Such a request would be nigh on unthinkable because one of Bob or Mary must take responsibility for the other, and cannot share or delegate such duty. And this kind of relationship is not unique to Eastern philosophies. The concept that certain duties cannot be delegated is not just an Eastern concept, but it is part of the bedrock of Western jurisprudence as well. A fiduciary duty is the highest level of obligation that a person can owe to another – and such obligation cannot be shared. Just as an agent must act solely for the benefit of the principal, and a trustee cannot halve his liability by delegating half of his duties, Bob cannot breach his obligation to Mary.
It would be alarming then, for Bob, in the face of an obstacle that appears unsolvable without the help of Mary, to confess his burdens to Mary. If Bob were to share his burdens with Mary, Bob would be abdicating his role as Mary’s protector. Bob cannot have it both ways – if Bob has any designs on remaining the kind of person that Mary could rely upon, Bob cannot ask for help from Mary. Taken on a macro level, such an action would turn society upside down. Bob’s only choice, therefore, if indeed Bob is the one who takes responsibility for the problems besetting our OTP of choice, is to remove himself from the situation entirely.
Note that this is not because Bob thinks any of the problems is insurmountable and will inevitably hurt Mary, but because he believes he is not (yet) strong enough to deal with the issue. Note as well that even if Mary also stepped up and declared responsibility for Bob, each of Bob and Mary would be forced to take action unilaterally because of the impossibility of sharing duties under the Confucian way of thinking.
In Korean thinking, harmony in society, whether on a macro or micro level, depends upon the ability of those who take responsibility for others. The good leader will cause his or her nation to prosper, and the good parent will cause her children to become good adults. Likewise, the person who capably wears his or her mantle of leadership will permit harmony to exist within the relationship. And it is within this context of harmony that love can truly exist and flourish.
Hope that helps quell the anger of anti-tropists out there seeking another noble idiot to skewer!
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A small piece from the book I was working on this spring
An illustration from the book I’m currently working:)
Reading
This illustration has everything I love*-*
Our hearth at Los Conejos 19 years ago.
©Robin Fifield 2023.
So excited for Thanksgiving break ☁️🦃
I love matching sets
A cosy guide to a cosy December ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆
Have a Christmas movie marathon.
Cinnamon oatmeal... or just oatmeal in general... winter is oatmeal season... make it cute, though!! :)
Having hot Chocolate by the fireplace
Bows. Bows. Bows.
Visiting Christmas markets and going ice skating
Cute Knitted sweaters and uggs
Baking cute Christmas cookies and decorating them with your friends
Spending hours making your wish list
Writing cute Christmas cards to friends and family who live far away :)
Start working on your 2024 vision board
Buying cute ornaments for the Christmas tree
Fluffy socks and fuzzy blankets <3
Experiment with your coffee order!! I've been OBSESSED with mochas; cinnamon is also a MUST.
Trying. a different make-up style. I always love the frosty/blushy look for winter <3
Planning your Christmas outfit
Buy some cute Christmas-themed pyjamas (Victoria's Secret always has cute ones!!)
Scented candles to set the mood. My current fav is the salted caramel one from ZARA Home!! <3
Go see the Nutcracker
A good Christmas playlist is a MUST. I already made mine :)
As always, please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!! •̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙♡*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛
❆‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧౨ৎ
Sitting by the fireplace and learning a new language… There is nothing better than that!💖
I have to admit, since I started learning Spanish a few days ago, I’m even more motivated to do my university assignments✨
Follow me on Duolingo and let’s expand our horizons together!!🥳🌅
