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It’s all ephemeral and transitory and I feel unmoored and adrift with an overwhelming desire to be anchored and secure.
I feel like I’m swirling in this world of ideas and experiences, and I want to reach out and grasp them and capture the abstract with language. The expand and contract - get all of the thoughts and ideas into one place, and then break it down, organize it, understand it; and condense it back down to something cohesive.
But there are two many things there are too many things and ideas and people and complex interactions and relationships and how do you even begin to know where to start, how to start?
I feel like I’m being crushed
I spend my hours doing neither what I should be doing nor what I’d like to. my eyes unfocus on the the task at hand my hand catches my heavy head as it pounds and sinks down under the waves bubbles slip from my lips as the depths suffocate me with darkness I am split by a screaming and thrashing for something to change and a hopeless, relieved resignation that this is how it always has been and this is how it always shall be
My head feels heavy and my body’s full of lead slowly poisoning itself and going mad I feel like I could sink my fingers into my skull, and rip out a piece, like a chunk of cake pull myself apart the pieces don’t quite fit as they are like a jigsaw forced into place where it doesn’t belong
Inspiration for a large transitional freestanding desk light wood floor and gray floor study room remodel with gray walls and no fireplace