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Impression
Born in a less than ideal situation.
Having to find a way to elevate when you only see devastation.
Learning to be a better person when you only see questionable foundations.
And don’t you dare think differently.
You’ll be singled out and shamed.
Stay in a child's place is all they paint until it’s stained.
What you speak will cross everyone's ear frames.
Can’t even be confined to a parent.
Your feelings will be displayed on a canvas and they wonder why our trust vanished.
Now opening up is so phantom.
Their lack of loving, patience, and directions makes us less equipped for future relations.
Choosing yelling over communication.
Leaving us with no understanding of our transgressions.
Not knowing who we become is a reflection of their lack of preparation.
Forcing us to grow up too early.
Not mentally but with responsibilities.
Hindering our possibilities.
Encasing us in their own Insecurities.
Highlighting similarities from a parent with ongoing hostilities.
Basing our capabilities on theirs.
That ain’t fair.
We ain’t ask to be here, we’re products of two toxic pairs who don’t know how to actually care.
Ain’t saying the love ain’t there but there’s certain ways a child needs to be love that parents are unaware.
Truly love
My phone don’t ring but everybody loves me.
When I’m distant, all I hear I’m moving funny.
Questioning my silence but my body language speaks loudly.
If you loved me you would see that my mind is cloudy.
That my eyes is forecast for rain but I’m forcing delays.
That my energy is off it’s relay.
That my demons are having a field day.
I can’t shake the thoughts I’m having these days but I aspect someone who loves me to detect.
Sometimes you have to detach to reattach.
Isolate to medicate but no one understands that.
They want you to shine through all your darkness.
Evaluate them while you’re deteriorating on the inside but they love you.
How could you love me and not sense my imbalance.
Maybe it’s the mask I’m wearing but I thought love can conquer all.
Why couldn’t your love slip through the cracks?
Have a flanking attack or is that to much to ask?
Maybe you don’t truly love me.
Purest
Your the purest skin but treated like the latter.
And black man we scattered.
My perception of us has shattered.
We suppose to be kings who uplift our queens but lately we been leading them to disaster.
And all I hear is laughter.
Jokes and games like we all wasn’t in chains.
We should be put to shame but we can never see the errors in ways.
We’re men, this how we’re train.
We received praise for what slay.
Never taught restraint.
How to deal with pain.
This is probably why we reciprocate in harsh ways.
Projecting it on our beautiful reflections.
Choosing lighter complexion cause they don’t call us out on our lack of direction.
I will never understand this disconnection.
I will never get the lack rage.
This boil the blood in my veins.
How we allow them to stand alone through all their agony and pain.
Down play all their accolades cause we hate to see them be great.
Hate see them achieve more than what we can equate.
What we bring to plate would deflate any mate who choose to engage.
Instead of upgrade we display hate to heal our ego that’s already in fragile state.
Then when we flip the tape and blame it on their traits.
The way we manipulate, irritates.
It’s time for a change of pace.
Shame
All I feel is shame.
Suppose to be the next big thing.
It was all in my genes but I can’t fulfill that dream.
It got me going through the motions.
Handing out potions.
During a lot of healing so I won’t feel.
A coping skill to distract me from the chills I get.
It goes hand and hand with the liquor I sip.
Hiding behind it’s lit so I can keep pouring it.
Drowning myself cause I’m tired of the reality of it.
It keeps downing me and I keep doubting me.
Overthinking cause I don’t know what you think of me.
Do you hear my pleads as I scream.
Or is it only in my mind?

Fatherless
You set the stage then vacated but your shadow still eclipses me.
Your path or mine, them lines are blurred.
I want to walk in your footsteps but who am I personally?
I took my mind from my body and thought how come we never spoke but I’m always talking to you.
I don't cry but its like I'm always shedding tears for you.
I started balling so we can be closer.
Looking to stands but every time, your seat empty.
Deep down, I'm empty.
Suppose to be here but shots rang out.
Your bloody body, dropping, replaying like it’s the gamer winner.
Another black fatherless child.
It’s endless.
Senseless.
They asking why I’m so distant.
You was put in hearse before I learned how to mourn.
I’m still so torn.
Colorist or preferences
Hiding behind what they prefer
Knowing deep down they can’t stand someone of a less shade.
This goes back when we were slaves or when we were in caves.
When our pigment protected against the suns rays.
As the sun caressed our skin with elegance.
The glow of gods and goddesses.
Maybe they hated it.
So they punish.
Bashed it until we lost pride if it.
Losing our ancestral essence.
We were Kings and Queens but now they only see us as good in the sheets.
Or anger at its peak.
It’s no in between.
Never see what’s underneath.
We’re human beings.
Regardless of what they see.
Midnight
At night is when the darkness come to flirt.
It’s jealous of your joy.
It hopes to destroy with no remorse.
In torch your thoughts.
Exposing your faults.
Depleting your source.
Your endorphins running thin.
Walls closing in.
These mental wars has no end.
Want to scream for help but no one understand.
Nor do they care to give a damn.
This pain is in command.
Now you’re sitting in a pool of your own sweat.
Living through all your regrets.
Within yourself you digress.
Your stress take center stage.
Putting on a show for the ages.
Taking a bow for your devastation.
Lost
Living in the present but stuck in the past.
Reminiscing of the time we had but these memories are only dreams.
You was gone before they can be.
Gone with the wind but I hear you in the breeze.

Even though I can’t remember how you sound.
Being your son, I’m proud but it comes with a lot.
Your image is splattered across my life and I fear that I can’t complete the portrait.
I look just like you but I can’t be you.
I’m shackled to you cause I’m a product of you.
I struggle to step out of your shadow cause you’re my light even in the darkness.
I wanna shine for you.
Fragile
I know you’ve been hurt.
Years of your emotions being dispersed.
Hardly handled with care.
All your fears being amplified from a significant that’s suppose to crystallize your worth.
Instead they impede your growth.
Leading you on when they have an unquenchable thirst.
Dragging your feelings through the dirt while they plant seeds all across the earth.
Soul ties from holes you never been expose to.
Now you’re all vulnerable.
Hiding behind a blunt or a few.
Taking shots to escape the view.
Blacking out so you can’t feel what you been through.
Your pain is visible.
I can see it all in your eyes.
It’s okay, you let it out.




Anxiety
Anxiety, enlighten me.
Why are you always attacking me?
When I’m at my highest, you bring me down to my lowest.
I fall to pieces.
My thoughts in shambles.
Inside me, uneasy.
Please take it easy.
You been apart of me for so long but do me so wrong.
You’re so toxic and you don’t even hide it.
Proud to belittle me since I was little me.
I want to hide with in me but I’m so silly, that’s were you always meet me.
You’re so needy.
Becoming more and more greedy.
Appearing when I make appearance.
Room full of people and I see you glaring.
Waiting for my emotions to start flaring.
I wish we can start sparring, I’m tired of this feeling.
I need some healing.
Super Women
You can be vulnerable, that don’t make you weak.
Wearing a cape for so long you forget about your needs.
Your soul needs to feed.
What you see on the feeds only impedes,
Take your own lead.
Dismiss the stares and whispers.
You can can cry yourself a river.
No need to hold on, that only makes you bitter.
Remember those figures that didn’t listen to your tears but expected you to wipe theirs.
You gave your all but it’s never returned.
Going on like reruns.
Using and abusing, Never no healing.
When will it be done.
You carried a ton.

Lost
I lost the hunger but still have the love.
Split between the two.
Who I was and who I am.
Trying to find a common, that area filled with caution.
Is that trauma or am I just hiding ?
Hiding from the fact I can’t reach certain heights.
Is this lack of preparation or perspective ?
Im destined but my story is still being written.
I can choose any path but I don’t have no sense of direction.
I am lost.

Long Run
Imagine having no balances on ice.
Slipping and falling with no directions.
Any different odds like a roll of dices.
It’s a forming of a deep connection.
Mind, body and emotions are invested.
You put every bit of yourself into them.
It’s clear to you that they are so precious.
To the world, you’re just underneath their thumb.
Fearing you lost sight of who you were.
Thinking you are still that boy who’s naïve.
The girl down the street, they so much prefer.
When you already came across your Eve.
Deep down in your soul, you know their the one.
Through all the storms, you’re here for the long run.
Endless Cycle
You hurt me and I hurt the next.
It’s how the game goes.
It flows with no remorse.
Leaving hearts in parts.
All out of sorts.
Love is an art but pierced in the process.
Everyone moving on without healing from the ex, hurting everybody next.
It’s an endless cycle; different variables.
Who Am I ?
Poisoned by the bonds that ties.
Your inner self is so shy.
Hiding behind a culture’s eyes.
If you don’t follow the dotted lines, you get the evil eye.
You conform cause your faults are magnified.
Tired of hearing your own cries, you find a mask to disguise.
Your identity losing supply.
Who I am?