Self-realization Vs Derealization

I sincerely apologise for writing this. i feel really conflicted right now. I have been getting suicidal thoughts lately because of my circumstances. Sometime I feel like I don’t even want to exist. I came to non-duality from loa. I spent 3 years trying to “manifest” a peaceful life. Trying to escape from my circumstances and wake up to a completely different life.

I make myself promises to like “manifest my desired life my the end this month” or “to stop making the same mistake” but I end up breaking them. I felt like I over consumed alot and now I don’t know where to begin or what to detach from. I tell myself that I’ll throw my phone aside and start applying but then I get caught up in my problems again and it’s just a cycle on repeat.

I have to say I’m quite ashamed of myself. Not being able to accomplish anything in my life and disappointing those around me despite knowing the law of assumption and now non-duality.

This is probably the most stupidest thing I have ever asked but could you simply non-duality in a a few sentences? I feel like I have come to the point where I can’t even trust myself to stop over consuming and wishing for change. Thank you.

you might benefit from this and this.

i really would like you to read this!

the body-mind, the "I" you think you are, i'll call them sam!

give up trying to manifest. give up trying to change the world with sam's thoughts and feelings, its torture.

here's the main point:

simple mindfulness is what gurus have asked of us. not convincing, denial or forcing. its observing. 

observe the habit of 'you'. you take the "I" to be the body-mind, sam. sam is a habit, and is sustained through attachment and aversions. drop them.

all you need to fix is your wrong identification. let go of sam and all their stories.

if you find yourself forcing, suppressing, or trying to get rid of sam (something that you don't do), then remember this: god is already perfect. the answer is to surrender.

there's no image or role to maintain. you can just be.

here's a more in depth reminder.

there's so many words for Self: Absolute Perfection, Bliss, Infinite Being, Supreme Reality. i want you to remember I AM. I AM is complete and whole, alone. its just beingness. just as it is. before the world and sam, you are conscious. before wanting, you are conscious.

nondualism's goal is letting go of all the concepts that stop you from seeing Self.

the body-mind is a thought. its an idea. you are already detached from sam. but you don't see it bcs you are identified with them right now. you are attached to your character, and we want to release all those attachments.

"the identity is a shadow. it is not us. analyze your mind briefly, and you will find that is nothing but a byproduct of societal conditioning, peer opinions, books, movies, whatever content you've most willingly consumed." - luvcompass

the mind is just a bunch of thoughts, feelings and memories. are you a thought? are you a story? are you a memory? are you a feeling?

sam is. but you are not sam.

sam doesn't want sam and all the stories anymore (likely because you think you are stuck as sam). but sam never was. sam is an idea, a story. they are a thought in the mind. because you are identified as sam, you see sam. without your awareness on sam, sam wouldn't be.

Unless they understand who they really are, that Vanessa (sam) is a habit and nothing more - that nothing has existence outside of awareness, including her, that awareness assigns reality and is the only reality - they're always going to struggle to control something and get frustrated they don't see what they think they're aware of. What you're aware of is what you're being. You can't be aware of being something new while also being Vanessa. [source]

The ego is an activity, its not innate, its FORMED.

"Ego (sam) is not an entity. It is an activity. It is an optional activity of identifying itself with a fragment that Consciousness is free to make or not, from moment to moment." [source]

and by habit of taking the "I" to be sam, it continues.

focus on respond vs react. start catching yourself out when you say 'i am ...', start asking questions to yourself abt who 'i' is. start watching your thoughts. learn how to feel your emotions when they come up, don't run away from them or they will continue to come up until you deal with it. this is a process of allowing.

"I make myself promises to like “manifest my desired life my the end this month” or “to stop making the same mistake” but I end up breaking them."

i want you to accept now. you are sam, so you see sam. stop chasing a future that will never come. there's only ever the present moment.

To be identified to your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be. The compulsion arises because the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions. — Eckhart Tolle

what would happen if you stopped using the past as a reference? what would happen if you stopped projecting past stories into the future? what would happen if you stopped thinking of a tomorrow?

"i felt like I over consumed alot and now I don’t know where to begin or what to detach from."

start with "who am i?". anything you can outgrow? not you. anything you can observe ? not you. in the absense of it, you don't disappear? not you. it changes and you don't disappear? not you.

how do you know you are sam except by your belief that you are sam?

"I have to say I’m quite ashamed of myself. Not being able to accomplish anything in my life and disappointing those around me despite knowing the law of assumption and now non-duality."

read this. also, there are no others. you are seeing yourSelf play out.

let go of the shame, regret and guilt. read the linked post, and watch the source from the first quote, it'll help. i also want you to watch this.

give yourself compassion. give yourself space to grow. sam is a random person just like anybody else, so why chastise them for stuff that just happens?

sam cannot do anything in the first place. (what is sam gonna do to change the infinte? why would the infinite need changing anyway?)

you are putting pressure on sam to change the world, but really Self orchestrates all. sam is just another creation of Self. this entire world is Self's expression. give up intellectualising what sam did, maybe it has nothing to do with you and it just happened?

sam is not a problem or mistake!

sam is already part of infinity and exists whether sam likes it or not. you are unconditionally accepted already as perfection or else you wouldn't be here.

“All you need is already within you, only you must approach your self with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors.” - nisargadatta maharaj

i'm sorry i wrote too much, but i hope this helps! please be safe!

"There is only Seeing. Both the seer and the seen are contained in it."

~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

website

Idk what happened to me bug when I discovered nondualism I just GOT IT, like I was free I understood everything and I was confused at other ppl who would ask questions to other teachers bc I was like " that's so easy to understand as awareness" but then I fell off, overconsumed and can't believe anything. My mind/thoughts started going insane and i started having breakdown after breakdown and feeling trapped in my body. I started thinking about desires and mg thoughts were so rapid I'm getting legit migranes from all the stress, even when I try to detach from it, I don't know what tk believe I don't know what to do or whether to start. All I can think about right now is "how to" get my desires, "yow to" get back to that euphoric feeling in the beginning, right now it feels like nondualism is the worst thing to have happened to me bc I don't know what to do. Very sorry for how long this is but i think the confusion of everything overwhelms me :(.

I know what you're talking about, the high you get when you come across this info and it makes sense more than anything.

You're having trouble because you're trying to get rid of your ego. I'll give an example from real life the way I always do so you can understand better.

Let's say you have a pet dog, you're going out for brunch today, you're ten minutes late already and you haven't even picked an outfit. You're rushing and running all over your apartment trying to get to your closet, your dog happens to be in the way so you step on his paw. You're so desperate to leave that you yell at him "Get out of the way!". Immediately you feel bad, you forget you were rushing, get down to his level, hug him and apologize.

Your pet dog, in this case, is your ego. Treat it with compassion, stop bullying it, it's not its fault you're not where you should be. You think he's in the way so you get mad, you get frustrated it's not following instructions or refuses to step aside. But the ego is not the problem, nor in the way. Your attitude toward it is the problem. Let it be, it doesn't know any better!

Cease thinking it's you, there's nothing else to do.

You think you have to do this and that because you think you're it, and you should act from it. That is not the case. There's nothing to do except disbelieve.

You lack nothing at all, never have, never will. It is all a game of choice. You depend too much on the world, you want to make it follow your will. You think it's not and you spiral. The only way to control the world is to step out of the world. The ego is in the world, and not you. Both the ego and the world are in you. Think like this, act from this. Nothing more is required of you. When you're out doing your tasks, become aware - "not me", "not mine". "Well if I am not this, nor that, what am I?"

It is ignorance of yourself that makes you afraid and also unaware that you are afraid. Don't try not to be afraid. Break down the wall of ignorance first. People are afraid to die, because they do not know what is death. The jnani has died before his death, he saw that there was nothing to be afraid of. The moment you know your real being, you are afraid of nothing. Death gives freedom and power. To be free in the world, you must die to the world. Then the universe is your own, it becomes your body, an expression and a tool. The happiness of being absolutely free is beyond description. On the other hand, he who is afraid of freedom cannot die. - Nisargadatta

Leave poor Vanessa alone, with both her desires and fears, disbelieve you are her until reality becomes self-obvious.

Q: Why do we not realize our unlimited being?

Lester: We have the conviction that we can't do it. If we were not convinced that we couldn't do it, we could do it quickly, even in a moment. How long should it take one with all knowledge, all power to recognize that he is all knowledge, all power? No time! And each one of us is that all powerful, all knowing individual. It seems so hard, almost impossible, only because we won't do it. That's why it is so difficult, - we won't do it!

You hold the concept that you are a body, rather than that you are an infinite, unlimited being. As long as you hold to that concept, you're stuck with it. You don't look at the other, the opposite side of you, which is unlimited.

Q: Well then, could you say that the only thing between us and realization is a thought, really?

Lester: Yes, that's it. It is a thought that is the culmination of much thought. If you would just examine how your thoughts flow after I tell you that you are unlimited, you would discover that immediately you dive right into the thoughts of being a limited body. When I say that each one of you is infinite, unlimited, right now, - at that moment you get a feel of it.

Are you aware of the feel that you get as I say it? Right now, everyone here is infinite, unlimited, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. When I say that to you, for that instant you feel it, but the next moment you think you are the body, and immediately take your full attention off what you really are and put it on the concept of being only the body with all its affiliations.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

How many of you women go about every day trying to discover that you're a female? None. Who of you men go about every day trying to discover that you are a male? Why don't you? Why don’t you people want to be told that? Because you accept it without any doubt whatsoever. But you do not accept that you are infinite. Why not? Why play the game of limitation and be miserable? Why? I'm asking you' the questions now instead of you asking me.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

All right now, if you will be that "I," and only that "I,” then everything will turn out to be like a dream. And when you see it full, a dream that never really was.

q&a

a q and a of most of my asks

basics

where do i start?

what do ppl who follow ND have as a "goal"?

is it necessary to read the book?

could you simplify non-duality in a few sentences?

how do i observe ego?

how do i practice letting my thoughts and emotions pass throughout the day?

i feel like i keep going back to my human body-self-mind. how do i stop this?

how do i just apply?

do i have to quiet the mind?

how is life a dream and also self?

if we choose what to take real or not, is ego truly real?

how to stop battling the ego?

who's the one thinking? Who's the thinker?

thoughts that come up in the mind and thoughts that don't

how to not get involved with the ego?

other questions

i am still trying to understand the concept of space-time.

does continuity not exist?

does remembering the past make it current?

what is imagination?

is detachment important?

what is self inquiry?

why would consciousness express in this body? why does manifestation exist? why do we still suffer?

ego worries

how would one approach in the dualistic perspective of being rejected, the need for validation, not feeling chosen?

i have to give up?? but i have a life and responsibilities?

how do i deal with the worst time of my life? / i've put my life on hold (tw: health problems, sa, death)

my ego lives such a boring life

my ego, how to make it stop calling me delusional? i have anxiety

dissociation and nondualism

how do things happen?

even if thoughts aren't me, they still limit me (+ how to view everything as self?)

progress

how do I remove the urge of trying to let this click?

I don’t actually really know how to apply any ND knowledge

i get really confused why they say stop trying to realize that you are oneness

i'm trying so hard and nothing is happening!

it feels like i'm just forcing myself... / self inquiry

am i supposed to just keep observing this character till what? what should i do now?

desires / choosing a different character

materialisation

how do we "choose a different character?"

is this not like loa?

using nondualism as a way to get something material?

i need to manifest instantly please help

i don't understand what to do about desires

how do i fix a big problem?

what is the point of being God if there is no desiring?

sp question

void state question

i don’t understand how when i imagine something is already happening?

i have to do something i don't want to do...

can i wake up in a better place?

changing the past

how to just choose what i want?

This body is totally imagined. As I sit here on the couch, with my eyes closed, I see images of the body, I feel sensations associated with it, and it all happens within my perception; there’s nothing external in it. I open my eyes, I look at my hands and feet, and these so-called parts of my so-called body are still images and sensations within my perception. I can separate them from the rest of my visual world and call them my body, but that separation is still an act of mind, and the images are always of a past, even if the past happened a nanosecond ago. They’re part of a movie of reality; they’re not reality itself. Why would I believe that a movie on the mind’s screen is real? Every time I try to focus on what is real about this body, it’s gone, and the “I” who focuses is gone too. 

There’s nothing solid. Not only the dream but even the dreamer is forever gone. And the dreamed body—I sit it, I stand it, I walk it, I feed it, I brush its teeth, I dress it in clothes, I put it to bed at night and lift it from bed in the morning, and none of that is real. It’s all a projection of mind. To imagine that there is anything outside the mind is pure delusion.

Even physical pain is imagined. When you’re asleep, does your body hurt? When you’re hurting, and the phone rings, and it’s the call you’ve been longing for and you’re mentally focused on the conversation, there’s no pain. If your thinking changes, the pain changes.

Byron Katie

So loa is a law of the universe? Just like gravity? Because gravity is a scientific law, it can be proven with science, and THATS what makes it a universal law. But loa has literally been disproven by science. Why is it not peer-reviewed? why is the only place you can get information on it from strangers on Tumblr and Twitter? They don't teach this in universities and schools; in fact, scientists have dismissed loa, shifting, and all of that.

loa blogs' sources are just "trust me, bro." If this is such a revolutionary law why are you writing up Tumblr posts, instead of being given the Noble Prize for Science?? make it make sense.

It is clear as day that you haven't read a single Neville lecture or book (which are our actual sources and not "trust me, bro" as you accuse) about the law and yet you come to me to try (and fail) to discredit it. How are you gonna demand sense when you yourself don't make any? At least familiarize yourself with what you're arguing against. I love The Power of Awareness so I would recommend starting there.

Every time we have a "Gotcha!" person make a special guest appearance it’s always someone who’s trapped in the logic jail cell with "If it’s real why aren’t there university courses and textbooks and institutions and studies committed to it also why aren't you famous and why didn't you win a Nobel prize and why did science say this and religion say that and... and... and..." Instead of being so concerned with what would be the natural expected trajectory of such findings per the World of Caesar maybe you should take the teachings we write posts about for a test drive. Let yourself be happy for once and see what happens when you use your imagination effectively and devoid of human limitations such as science.

Spoiler alert: the law is above science and if you test it out for yourself you won't come back to argue against it because to your rudimentary surprise, you will see that it is real.

🫶

one of the greatest discoveries i made in my journey for me was realizing that the 3d isn’t something separate from me. my 3d isn’t “out there”. my 3d doesn’t need to be changed.

i’m literally within myself. think of your 3d as your mind. you’re IN this 3d world. that means you’re INSIDE your own mind. you’re within yourself lol. 

your mind isn’t in your body, your body is in your mind. 

jesus said he is in father and father is in him(john 14:10). william blake said god is in us and we in him.

this is why there is nothing to change but self because self is the only thing there is. you’re within yourself. the world is truly your own simulation. you’re within the mind of god. you’re inside your own self. 

think of a blue butterfly. you don’t even have to “manifest” it. just think of it. whenever it comes to your mind, just think of a blue butterfly. you’ll somehow end up seeing a blue butterfly in the 3d even though you didn’t “manifest” it. 

why? because you’re literally within yourself. this is why it’s absurd to want to change the 3d or seek results from in the 3d. 

you’re literally inside yourself………

i hope you get what i’m trying to get across here because i want you to know that you’re NOT changing the 3d, you’re changing yourself, your consciousness. your 3d exists WITHIN you.