Epic AU

Y’all. You guys. I’m sobbing over this lyric from I can’t help but wonder

“Used to say I’d capture wind and sky for you”

Because like. HE LITERALLY DID! HE CAPTURED A STORM & HARNESSED THE WINDS THEMSELVES TO GET BACK HOME! I AM FUCKING ILL

Idea I got from tiktok:

Dick: Why's Tim in the manor while it's getting fumigated?!

Bruce: Tim, get out of the manor right now!

Duke, banging on the manor window: You're breathing in poison!!! You're gonna die!!!

Tim: It's fine. I grew up in Gotham! I'm immune!

Jason: You're from Bristol. You got rich boy filtered air! You're not from Gotham!

Damian: Tt. Drake probably got poison training from those gifts grandfather's sent him.

Dick: From the what-

Cass: Focus.

Steph, snickering: I bet you held your breath the first time you snuck into Crime Alley to take photos.

Tim, actively dying from the gas: NO!

Alfred, across gotham: ... something just happened...

…so now the noble swineherd, clinging fast to godlike Telemachus, kissed him, as if he’d escaped dying. // Odyssey, 16.19-25

(TRIGGER WARNING FOR SA, KIDNAPPING, AND UNALIVING YOURSELF)

Okay I loved Circe but HATED how they made Odysseus out as some kind of villain and not a victim.

Sure, he did terrible things, but it was all to get back to his family. He technically ‘cheated’ but if he didn’t then he would have probably been killed.

I’ve only read Circe and watched Epic so far, I’m reading the Greek Odyssey tomorrow when it comes, but in Epic he doesn’t cheat.

I haven’t read that part of Circe in a while because I took a break, but I’m pretty sure she made him sleep with her, not outright forcefully but it was heavily implied he and his men would die if he didn’t (if I remember correctly). She was way more powerful than him and the roots could only hold up against her for so long, he barely had a choice, so it was technically consensual, but it was still barely his choice.

Calypso trapped him on her island for seven years, I heard he cried for his family every night, and in Epic (maybe also the Odyssey) he wanted to unalive himself. It was also very similar to Circe, where she was much more powerful than him, and this time he had no help or defense, even if for a limited time, it came only when he escaped. He had no where to go, a goddess who was in love with him and had never seen another living person before, he was defenseless. I don’t know if that was technically consensual or if she forced him but he still had little to no choice if he did say yes.

Many forget he is a victim because he is a man or haven’t read the Odyssey, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, he may have done horrible things but for a reason, for many people who do those things don’t have.

I agree he probably changed and was more guarded/on edge, but from what I’ve seen and read, I don’t think he would call his son a traitor. He loves his wife, and talks about her more in Epic, but he still longs to know him. I don’t think what Telemachus did would make him not want to form a relationship and try to know him. Because that is his son who he’s longed to know for 20 years, I think only strong evidence that he was a traitor would make him act that way at all.

I also didn’t like how Penelope told Circe the act to try and get out of war was fake. Sure, he is a genius, a master manipulator, even left his bow behind when he is a great archer to become the Best of the Greeks. He cares about his title and legacy. But he spent 10 years trying to get back to his wife and son.

In Epic he sacrificed his friend’s lives, he turned into the monster he feared he would become, he even made Poseidon call him a monster.

He could have spent the rest of his life with Calypso in ‘paradise’ but he was miserable there, wanting to see his family, wanting to be with his people.

Anyways, I thought most parts of the book were great, I may be a little bit biased because I love Odysseus and can’t wait for my Greek Odyssey to come, but I think I made some strong arguments.

Thanks if you made it this far. Also, is the Song of Achilles worth it if I like Odysseus this much but people say he’s not a good person in it? Please comment your thoughts!

My favorite parts of the Iliad now that I’ve finished it for the first time:

Odysseus running around beating people with a scepter (and the amount of joy he got from it)

Agamemnon prematurely mourning Menelaus, who is standing right next to him.

Zeus telling Ares he hates him the most of all his children. God damn. He really did just say that to his face didn’t he.

Diomedes being a force of nature on the battlefield

Diomedes being a force of nature on the battlefield and everyone still treating him like he’s their annoying little brother who they unfortunately sometimes have to kind of listen to.

Diomedes.

“What are you talking about?” I laughed out loud multiple times because of this line. I don’t know what it is, but every single time it’s said I just imagine the most baffled/annoyed expression and tone of voice on whoever was saying it and I just. Lose it every time.

Helen being extremely passive aggressive the entire time she’s on the page. Seriously love her.

Helen believing her brothers didn’t come to war because they were ashamed of her, not knowing they have been dead for some time. It hurts and I love it.

Odysseus and Diomedes being sent on a spy mission and deciding that, after getting information from the Trojan spy, they are going to go to their camp and steal some horses. (And a chariot. And some armor, I think???) Utter chaos. They did not have to do this. This was A Choice.

Them coming back after stealing said horses and NOT A SINGLE PERSON QUESTIONS IT. IMPLYING THIS IS A NORMAL THING FOR THEM. AND THEY JUST,,,,,REGULARLY DO SHIT LIKE THIS.

Athena helping them.

The Trojans being annoyed with Paris

Nestor kicking Diomedes awake, who is, for some fucking reason, sleeping on the ground (?????)

Nestor.

Nestor going on long winded rants about His Day and his exploits. And everyone just kinda has to sit and listen to him talk.

Poseidon causing an earthquake so extreme Hades worried he was going to expose the underworld.

Artemis calling Apollo a baby for not wanting to fight Poseidon

Apollo ignoring her entirely. Peak sibling energy.

Achilles calling Patroclus’ ghost “true heart.” I know what you are.

Athena helping Diomedes in the funeral games.

Athena getting so mad Apollo made Diomedes drop his whip during said games she sabotaged Eumelus and made Diomedes’ horses run faster.

Antilochus threatening his horses into running faster.

This working.

Odysseus and Ajax wrestling and being so evenly matched that everyone gets tired of watching.

When they get up for round three Achilles telling them to “put not eachother further to such cruel suffering.”

The idea that Achilles was so sick of watching them that he compares it to actively being in pain.

Odysseus praying to Athena for help when he’s loosing the footrace.

Athena actually helping him.

Athena sabotaging Ajax and making him slip and fall face first into dung.

Ajax saying Athena hovers over Odysseus like his mother. Everyone finds this hilarious. Odysseus does not disagree.

Diomedes continually aiming at Ajax’s neck while fighting for a sword and armor. They are stopped by the rest of the Achaeans in fear for Ajax’s safety.

Yea, I’m convinced the Iliad is a comagedy. A comedic tragedy. A tragic comedy?

I always find the melodrama around Obi Wan being Anakin's master a bit funny. Basically a teenage dad! Struggling single parent! Traumatized child in the care of a traumatized child! Eldest daughter syndrome etc..... Yes, he was grieving, and it must have taken courage on his part to present that ultimatum to the council, and had he had to leave the Order to train Anakin, I can see how that would have been deeply challenging, true. But like,

It's the clone wars cartoon that really renders it for me. Anakin was.... I think quite objectively less ready for knighthood at the end of aotc than Obi Wan was at the end of tpm, but the cartoon basically has it happen right away. He was an actual teenager. He, unlike Obi Wan, canonically did not really want a padawan at that time. Also, he had to raise a padawan in a warzone? Hey, he also had just lost a parent, wow, the parallels. The show also establishes quite thoroughly that jedi learn to look after children and teach... possibly even before becoming padawans themselves, judging by Ahsoka, and that there is also a good degree of communal teaching even with the apprentice system, judging by Ahsoka. But never mind all that

So we're cuddle-piling the 25 year old trained teacher with a solid support system who was applying for a position that he expected to include raising a padawan, i guess... truly the meowest of meows, the burdenest of burdens. No wonder Anakin fell!

'Cause I'm stuck with your stories

Bruce: Cassandra has done nothing wrong ever in her life

David Cain: she killed a man

Bruce: no she didn't

Cass: I killed a man

Bruce: no you didn't

Bruce, watching a video of Cass killing a man: this is fake.

I've had a DC x DP prompt/fic idea and I'd thought I'd share.

Danny, who has been dragged into taken over the role of High King, has been going through some of the paperwork that it entails. Of course, he's still baby ghost so CW and the others actually help with most the stuff, but he had some free time after being chased out of his house and injured (it'd been a few months since then).

Either way, he finds a particular line of complaints. He was never one to engage in it, but many of his subject, of which fall under the demon category, are complaining about a soul they can't collect. Danny personally finds it kind of funny. He sets those ones aside for now though, and continues doing whatever.

A few months later, he's summoned via some magic user, probably Klarion, and is now in front of the JL and a tiny wayward chaos maker. In a more eldritch form, he turns to Klarion, who very clearly did not mean to summon him specifically by the way he's panicking and called Teekel back, and just tells him he's grounded.

Thinking thatbwas that after Klarion left, he went back to his castle to do more work...and maybe play with Cujo. Really, Pariah Dark left so much paperwork, he doesn't wanna do all that!

The JL however is now steadfast on finding whatever the fuck that was. Klarion was scared of it, and it seemed more annoyed at being called than concerned about the heroes behind it. So that could be very very bad news.

Danny, after a while, realizes the JL is trying to find out more about him, which makes his life very difficult, fuck you very much, has a wonderfully stupid idea.

Going back to those papers about the soul that can't be collected, he summons a very tired and now spooked british man. One by the name of John Constantine. He wants a deal. More specifically, whatever deals he'd made, those were now the High Kings, and in return for whatever he got out of the deals, he wanted John to help him. All in all, he just got hired by the High King in return for ignoring the equivalent of taxes.

John was very confused, but hey, boy king of there is very chill out of formal settings. And also maybe he's worried about the fact that like a 16 year old is king-

Either way, there deal goes a little something along the lines of;

Danny: Keep the JL off my back, and all your debts are no longer valid and anyone that disagrees can come fight me.

John: ....okay??????

So while Danny got a "I don't wanna deal with this hero!" guy, John got a "I don't wanna deal with this demon!" guy.

When people debate who the most fucked up member of the bats is, they either pick Bruce or Jason. Rightfully so, of course. But neither of them are correct.

Cassandra fucking Cain has been coasting by undetected for YEARS. That girl might lowkey be the most fucked up hero in DC, and that's saying something.

Everyone is aware of how anal Bruce is about the no kill rule, but nobody talks about how Cass takes that to the extreme.

She broke into a maximum security prison to free a child murdere who received the death penalty. She didn't even know him. She broke through a secure facility to free what is arguably the definition of human scum because she doesn't agree with his sentencing.

I mean, yes, fuck the death penalty, the state should never have the right to kill people, and the fact that many end up innocent is horrifying, but that man was unrepentant. And he was locked up, he didn't even escape. Cass places her morals above even the law

And I can't find the panel, but I'm 99% sure she took multiple bullets to protect a rapist

Also, she had a major breakdown when Kate killed clayface, which is valid sure but Kate genuinely saved lives there. Cass would've been fine if they died so long as nobody wearing the bat was a murderer.

People rag on Bruce for only seeing the world as black and white, but Cass' world view is way more strict and rigid. She makes Bruce seem lax about it