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i am going to get the cops called on me one day with the amount i climb in and out of my own window instead of using the front door

WHY DO ELKS SOUND LIKE THAT HOLY FUCK

My oil painting of an Uncrustable

I wish there was a Eliot Spencer video edit put to 'I Need a Hero' by Bonnie Tyler. Please it would be epic.

bitches hate me bc i enjoy a nice glass of cold milk. also unrelated but i might have lead poisoning.

thoughts on thoughts?

i don't think

why did we make moaning sexual....can a guy not writhe in pain in peace....

"ohhh this strange beast drains the blood of it's victims and looks like a big cat" listen im just down to believe in cryptids as the next guy, more even, but thats the description of so many "strange beasts that couldn't be any known species" at this point and not enough people are addressing the fact that BIG CATS TEND TO GO FOR THROATS, WHEN YOU PEIRCE A THROAT IT TENDS TO DRAIN BLOOD VERY FAST!!!!

^!!!!!!!

also unrelated but i love the word exsanguination, one of my favourite words of all time, along with chutzpah and pizzazz

this reminds me of how i used to carry around cards with logical fallacies on them and throw them at people who made bad arguments

When ever people insult me with their facts they handpicked to look right, I am just going to start saying:

"What is Confirmation Bias for 500"

They should install public grappling hook points