Latest Posts by chaewonlover - Page 2

not eating is so much easier than to stop eating

i can get so much worse im not anywhere near my limit

i haate ppl that try to pass off “harsh skinny tips” as healthy weight loss and not borderline disordered like u are in DENIAL

i have small dog syndrome but in the way that it’s my ed in its loser corner of my brain that keeps shouting mean things every fucking second

hmmm yeah im actually healthier when im weak and frail rather than fed and energized why do u ask

40 hour fasts are not for me bc tell me why i woke up with my heart beating so fast i thought i was having a heart attack 💔

horrible experience i will be trying again soon

is this what i get for trying to bake cookies

😭😭😭😭😭

it must be so fun to not have an ed

peak 3d behaviour for me is browsing those relatable food content pages like a magazine catalog and seeing which junk recipe I should omad to

Once you have an 3d it’s like everyone decides to be skinny or am I just noticing more?😭

Petra Collins’ high school aesthetic photography changed my brain chemistry

i wanna hate myself for eating a full twix bar so badly but i just can’t it was so delish and worth the c@l0ries

that pizza was the hardest thing to eat i could barely swallow it

i wish that one day it comes down to refusing those slices entirely

the biggest mistake u can do is start eating something u know will make u binge. like no, it's not going to be different this time😭 be ffr

I need new characters for the 2025 season. Why is everyone in my life someone that I already know?

maybe when spring makes its way into the seeds of trees, it will plant one into my mind too. one that will cleanse my soul of everything that is sadistic and destructive about me.

the seed will bloom into a beautiful flower that is nourished by the affection of the sun, beaming on the body i try to deplete of its forces day after day. the scent of the pollen will inspire in me a new kind of love for myself that is lost in the covers of my bed.

i desperately need this flower to stop my body from withering away as my mind starts to reach new lows i’ve never seen before.

this disorder is fucking ruining my life

WHITE STRAWBERRIES R SO YUMM

the whole box (10oz) is 96 c@ls btw but i would explode before doing that

once summer comes i don't think i'll feel as trapped inside with my ed and actually live a fulfilling life outside of being the thinnest I can be.

this disorder is so lame ngl the only thoughts running through my head are preparing for a beach body like omg get a life

quest bars for the win bc they're the only protein bars that won't floor me with a stomach ache after eating them

i often wonder who ik irl on here like does that really th1n girl that complimented my hair when she rung me up at the grocery store have an 3dblr? is she on 3dtwt? does she know why im only buying tictacs and gum?

caffeine is pumping thru my blood thanks to this crazy pink monster I need loud music asap ohmygod

i immediately get humbled anytime someone mentions how they haven't eaten anything all day long bc whoopsie they forgot

like i have to deliberately ignore the hunger and they don't even have to think abt it like goshh

poemy rant

Nobody ever called me fat. Nobody ever said there was something wrong with my body, ever.

Yet I am the one who chose to inflict this mentality upon myself. My stomach and thighs suddenly doubled in size one day when I realized most of my friends carried smaller bodies. They never had to think once about losing weight because they were already naturally gifted with those bodies. They didn't have to eat less or exercise. But most importantly, they were happy with what they had. They weren't miserable like me, wishing I could cut the fat off using my bare hands.

It makes me sad whenever I see them snacking or buying a whole box of donuts at the grocery store just because they feel like it. They don't think twice about the calories and how much they're allowed to eat for the rest of the day. They even mock me for checking the calories every time and warn me about how many I'm about to ingest if I take a bite out of an unhealthy snack. They've repeatedly told me they don't see anything wrong with my body and how they wish they had thighs like me because theirs are too thin.

So why do I feel like this? Where did this come from? When did having a flat stomach and stick legs become my goals?

Nothing ever feels good enough anymore. I look at the scale some mornings and bawl my eyes out because it's not the number I want to see, even though I'm technically underweight. But I don't feel like that at all. I'll consider myself underweight when there is no fat left to jiggle when I run, and no extra skin to pinch or poke at. When I'm running so low on energy I can feel my brain shutting off, my legs trembling and ultimately collapsing. I'll be on the ground, limp and exhausted as I fall into a deep sleep.

I'll be desolate, but I'll be thin. I'll be happy in a bikini just like my friends, proudly showing off the body I worked so hard for.

Hopefully.

i just wanna have a friend that's just as disordered as me irl. We would talk without feeling judged and give each other motivation. it's rlly another pointless fantasy about having cool and understanding friends I wish could be with me.

ahh but for now i can only hope for someone like that to come along eventually. i kinda need them rn but it's fine I can wait.

skinny is part of my personality idc

being nervous/excited is the best laxative trust

confession time i feel like im not ana enough cause i eat full meals

everyone else on here just snacks on lowcal stuff and diet drinks, but i can’t get those and just genuinely prefer the taste and feel of whole foods. i only eat one or two meals a day, but it still feels like im faking

hey sweetie remember you are a full whole unique person outside of your ed and you are allowed to enjoy things even if you are “failing” at the ed

its so simple but i cant take it seriously