I'm Such A Pig

My favourite part abt fasting is sleeping. Not in a weird way but I love having dinner, doing whatever for a few hours, going to bed and then seeing I'm at like 12 to 14 hours while still feeling good and not hungry.

Rants w Arcane | pt. 2

I know this isn't my usual content, my I just wanted to get it off my chest. Maybe it brings some comfort to ppl in similar situations.

My education is very important to me. My main form of validation is academic, and while I wasn't a top student in high school, I was happy I graduated and found it a flex that I finished high school in a different country, in a different language. Now I'm an university that ranks top worldwide. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I had failed all my exams in january. Looking back, my study methods were just really not right and that's why I didn't do well. It obviously took a toll on how I viewed myself. Thus, the past semester, I've been in a constant toxic cycle of putting particularly high expecations of what I should do/what I should achieve by overworking myself, attending all my classes and student society (already 9 hours in a day) and studying an extra 4 hours in between and working out whenever I could. On top of that, I had fueled my £d as much as I could, pushing myself to get worse.

Dealing with the pressure of school, an £d, a relationship and going home every weekend where my relationship with my parents isn't the best obviously took its toll on me. After about 4 to 5 months of that, it seems like my brain finally is giving up. My anxiety is getting bad again and I might need meds again, if I don't get better. I don't want to bother people with it, but it is also something I cannot just keep hidden. I hope that things will get better soon and I should take better care of myself.

For anyone else in a similar situation, know you're not alone and you deserve to take care of yourself. It's ok to step on your pride and do things that'll help you feel better.

I have a friend whose mom has been struggling with a4a all her life. She believes ppl shouldn't weigh above 50kg and would often make remarks on her friend's weight/look.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm objectively overweight. It's something I'm dealing with and working on, and joked once or twice that I was scared to go to her house, because of what her mom would say (true thing though, I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it or make her feel bad). She said it didn't really matter and not to listen to her mom, esp since it wouldn't be to my face.

Yesterday, we were talking about how my grandma wanted to see a pic of her and said she's pretty, and my friend said she hasn't showed any pic of me to her mom because she's scared of what her mom would say.

Cooked.

Footage of my brain (2025, colorised):

Your waist is huge.

Look at that.

Ew…

People may like you but they will never truly accept you if you look like that.

the calories aren't worth it

The fact that I spent my teens eating instead of starving is killing me

I'm not saying that ppl who are naturally skinny don't have their own struggles, but you can't convince me that you don't have it easier than ppl with slower metabolisms.

food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly food makes me ugly

Not everyone will understand the relationship between a girl and seeing her ribs

this!!! I often compare myself to others and can't hepl but get caught up in certain things i see online or w my friends. I still gotta remember that this is my journey and issue to deal with, and that the way someone else functions shouldn't decide mine

hey babes just wanted to say that you aren’t in a competition, actually you have an eating disorder which is a mental illness which is hard and sad and dangerous, and to maybe remember that and be kind to yourself even when you feel like you are failing at it okay because it’s not something you fail at and binging is just another symptom of your disordered relationship to food