I Love When They Draw A Carrot On Top Of The Carrot Cake Just To Remind You This Aint No Ordinary Fuckin

hush little baby dont you cry. mamas gonna buy you a big horse fly. and if that big horse fly dont fly. mamas gonna buy you another horse fly

sorry I didn't respond to your text. I slept until 1pm and saw it half asleep and then forgot and then remembered it 3 days later and then meant to respond but I had to eat dinner and forgot again and then remembered 5 days later again and then got too much anxiety to respond and then

shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode

i'm so sorry, i walked marginally more than a mile in your shoes. my understanding of you has subsumed my own consciousness, i am you to a greater extent than you ever were, and you are merely a simulacrum to the true you, which is me.

this is literally my favorite video

I'm sorry sir but no a "shrimp" did not in fact fry this rice. you're lumping crustaceans together in a very unhelpful and bigoted manner. our chef is a giant freshwater crayfish.

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

babygirl you would not believe the superiority complex me and the other never left tumblr homies have right now