It Dosent Even Hurt When I Cut Anymore

Bulimia wins and now my makeup is fucked up

still have two and a half hours of school left

KMS

I wish I could just cut off all of the fat I have in my body

I love saying “I’m so normal, it’s crazy!”

like bitch you just age ten bucks worth of snacks that you bought for your friends graduation THEN threw it all up. Proceeded to crumble whatever was left into said toilet that you threw up in, started giggling and then cut yourself a few times then heard a noise freaked out and flushed that gross shit up and brushed your teeth and went to bed. boy it’s 1am on a school night, you got finals tomorrow get your ass to sleep

I just had the worst binge of my life

I’m literally sick the next day because of how badly that was

oh my god what the fuck

Just threw my guts up and I lost weight^^

two days ago I was 194 now I’m 188

best day ever

still a lot but like during last summer I bindgee so much I went from 176-210 and it just got worse until January my ass locked back in

so sense January I’ve gone from 215-188 and I lost most of it in April!! Like beginning of April I was 204 now I’m here

IM SO HAPPY

I’m getting close to my first gw of 170

Mmmm laxatives

Testosterone boys and harley quinn girls but instead its bpd splitting byos and attechment issues girls and the whole world lights on fire and burns

I hate my mom so much sometimes

She just went on a rant to me about how I don’t eat enough and got mad and said I’m not dealing with this shit again

Then she went on about my sister and her past ED shit and how it affects her now

And I’m so fucking upset because she never noticed before and even now she dosent fucking know

Every conversation about mental illness also goes back to my sister it’s like I can’t even by myself and have my own shit!!!

Like fuck dude I have shit worse then my sister a good chunk of the time

That asshole fucking changed how I think about almost everything

I hate saying it but she fucking traumatized me at such a young age

It’s like no one cares

No one fucking cares about my own shit

I put so much efforts towards everyone and helping

But the second I talk it feels awkward or haft assed

Maybe it’s because I don’t like the help and said something once but it’s because IT FEELS SO FAKE

I just wanna feel loved and cared for

I’m tired of being compared to my shit of a sister

I’m so scared to go to my friends birthday party tonight

I love him dearly but he always has Costco pizza and fatty chips as the food

a singular slice of cheese pizza from there is 700 CALORIES

which is fucking insane and I am not ruining my progress for a slice of pizza like that

I just don’t wanna be the odd man our sitting there not eating but also that’s goals

I'm so excited for rotting in bed summer !