A Message To You:
A message to you:
You’re pushing me away and I don’t know what to do. I care about you, I always have and I always will. Do you, do you care about me? You say you do, but then you ignore me. “I’m that way with everyone” you say, but there you are laughing, having a thirty minute conversation with another. When I try to talk to you, you barely respond; you brush me off. You’re someone I thought I’d know forever, but there you go slipping away from me. Although I’m fully capable, I don’t understand and I don’t think I ever will - because you’ll never tell me. Inseparable one minute, barely talking the next; oh, how the times change. I’d do anything to help you, and I’ve proven that. Once things got better for you, do you leave behind the ones who have helped you in the process? Is that what this is? You should surely be able to clear this up, but you won’t.
I’ve hurt my self to help you. I’ve made sacrifices to be there for you. Is that not enough? Is wanting what’s best for someone 24/7 not enough? I never asked for anything in return but honesty. This is didn’t even get.
So it’s been almost a month since you last texted me first to talk. And I realized that I shouldn’t have to question if you still want to be my friend or not. So our friendship is in your hands. Take care of it or don’t; I don’t care anymore. I love you and I’ll miss you and our close friendship but I’ve learned where I hold myself as a person. And I will never beg for someone’s attention, I will never force a friendship, and I will never keep myself in a toxic one-sided relationship. I’ve made the effort, now it’s your turn. I’ve shown you that I care, prove to me you do too. Nurture our friendship back to good health, if I really mean that much to you like you say.
I care too much about people. People take advantage of this. I get used; my feelings abused. Hopefully you won’t do the same.
There’s a chance you’ll see this but a very strong one you won’t (I assume you don’t pay attention to me as much as I do to you). If you do see this, you’ll know this is about you. I want you to see this, in fact I’ll be happy if you do.
Do what you want; it’s your life. But don’t you ever say I was the one who drifted away from you or that I was never there for you. I was, however you wernt. I still want to be friends, but a friendship can’t work if it’s only one way. At the end of the day, if you wanted to be my friend, you’d be acting like it.
- Your “Friend”
More Posts from Goyohany and Others
I don’t mean to be a downer but I can’t think of a single scene that wouldn’t have been made better if Loki had lived to be a part of it.
Imagine him making rude comments about Thor when the guardians are admiring him.
Imagine him having some sort of ‘who can be the most sarcastic?’ battle with Rocket.
Imagine him meeting Groot, and maybe being able to speak to him too.
Imagine Loki being a shoulder to cry on for Thor as they both mourn the loss of half their people.
Imagine him going with Thor to help forge his new weapon, and maybe even getting one himself, or for once not being jealous of Thor for something he doesn’t have, but being truly proud of him.
Imagine him entering Wakanda with him to the Avengers theme, ready to totally commit himself to the fight, and driving himself to the other Avengers that he was worthy of their trust.
And finally, imagine him running at Thanos, ready to do whatever he could to help his brother, even if it meant sacrificing himself.
Even if he had ‘died’ at the end with the other half of the universe, we would have got that incredible moment in Avengers 4 when the remaining Avengers would bring them all back, and Thor and Loki would finally get the hug we have been waiting for.
So much possible character development wasted. We can only dream.
He Just Can’t Stop Himself… Can He?
A way my therapist has told me to approach childhood trauma is thinking about the child who went through the traumatising ordeal. You may resent yourself for not fighting back, not doing enough, or not running away, but you need to see the young child who was there, the one who needed protection, not persecution
i mean it’s not like i spend every hour consciously saying “i hate myself.” it’s just that when things go wrong my first response is “of course” “i deserve this” “this is because i suck.” if someone asked me “do you like who you are” i’d be stuck. i don’t feel like i’m 13 and emo anymore, but i kept the sidebangs. i feel weird saying things like “i’m a burden and waste of space” but i feel like that. just maybe not in those words. it’s just like i swell too big for the area. like i splash over the sides, a party foul, the spilled drink. i mean how extra would it be to say something like “i don’t like myself enough to keep living”. doesn’t that just cause other people pain. doesn’t that just make people worry. but on the other hand i’m stuck because i feel numb, vague, blurry. like i should evaporate. like i do nothing but cause people distress when i should be helping. like okay. i don’t hate hate myself. but if the car was coming i wouldn’t get out of the way in a hurry.
Sadness will last forever - I Was Raped as a Child (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1090172529-sadness-will-last-forever-i-was-raped-as-a-child?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=wayechoi&wp_originator=mzQegLyrpSU%2FhB9c6klaLBnnOBU7HA3Tcivx0YazPTT2PYBp1IXQfK7dK5wcqLIPtS4lijL%2BSUvbEE0aO3%2BmT0mwTuadBqH2aREbabu5GfaKV0G7sfPI7waCL8f7O2%2BV I Was Raped as a Child, and There's No Going Back
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b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
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(Source)
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