Pet Peeve:

The opposite of anxiety is not calmness, it is desire. Anxiety and desire are two, often conflicting, orientations to the unknown. Both are tilted toward the future. Desire implies a willingness, or a need, to engage this unknown, while anxiety suggests a fear of it. Desire takes one out of oneself, into the possibility of relationship, but it also takes one deeper into oneself. Anxiety turns one back on oneself, but only onto the self that is already known. There is nothing mysterious about the anxious state; it leaves one teetering in an untenable and all too familiar isolation. There is rarely desire without some associated anxiety: We seem to be wired to have apprehension about that which we cannot control, so in this way, the two are not really complete opposites. But desire gives one a reason to tolerate anxiety and a willingness to push through it.

Open to Desire

Mark Epstein

But Please Plato . . . I am worthy .

Ordered a linear algebra text book. Came today. Very pleased. Flipped through it and frowned. What is this! I plan to read through it a bit before classes start this fall because I’m taking diff eq and linear algebra and I am quite unfamiliar with linear algebra

Choice feminism only appears to be an attempt at upholding the status quo under the patriarchy while preaching to women they’re empowering themselves. How does one truly argue these acts are empowering or feminist? Step back from the make-up example but think about the number of cultures and religions globally that have a rigid adherence to patriarchal gender roles— many women within these cultures happily do make choices that leave them vulnerable, abused, degraded, and ultimately seen as lesser beings than men. But they made that choice… what would you say about the nature of that choice? Empowering? Divorce and marrying later in life or perhaps even not marrying at all is a choice many women can make but what are the social repercussions of that? Can women make certain choices without being demeaned by those around them? Can they divorce or live a child-free life while being seen as a whole and fulfilled human?

Never kill yourself sometimes you have to have a conversation with someone and learn something and share your thoughts life is worth living There is more for us in the world of ideas Run keep running go

Perpetually discontent because I long for intimacy but I also don’t want others to impose themselves in my space. Don’t act as though we’re close, don’t insert yourself in everything I think or do, don’t take what’s mine. What I like is mine and you’re not allowed to waltz in and treat it as if it’s your own. I feel this about the things I like learning about. It’s mine, find another subject.

It struck me as odd to see men act as though women are coddled for their emotions while men are told to man up. No one has coddled my emotions and it’s a very few times they’ve been validated. Women have been seen as overly emotional creatures who can’t form rational judgements— hysterical, crazy, and insane.

the biggest bullshit everrrrr is when people say "men and boys are punished for crying whereas women and girls are validated and comforted" it's such bullshit people will literally see a woman crying and call her an evil manipulative bitch

I tried deriving the Lorentz factor for the second time last Night and well the geometry was quite straight forward but the algebra :-< Have I. Become the people who get to calculus and begin struggling with basic math… Help! I didn’t finish it but I’ll try it again but to bypass that algebraic manipulation I might do the derivation with the parallel wires which is arguably more rigorous

I think of the 4th spatial and maybe I should begin writing sci-fi short stories

That sounds lovely and would reflect my eerie dreams

Your Will shall decide your Destiny