Snarkiest Lines

The Office (US)

It is the end of the year and the end of an era. The Office (US) series is about to leave Netflix, and along with spending time with our families during this global pandemic in the US this is also the time of more “traditional” family time. 

Whether to get through spending this time with your family or celebrating with them, you still have time to rewatch the series without too much strain. Watching just two to three hours a night you can relive all 201 episodes and nine fabulous years of The Office by the end of the year.

Today, with only a six-episode long Season 1 you’d jump into Season 2 tomorrow, get to Pam and Jim’s first kiss this Sunday night, cheer up the middle of your week with Season’s 3 Christmas party battle, see Ryan’s promotion with the beginning of Season 4 on Friday December 4th, meet Holly Sunday December 6th with the start of Season 5, visit Niagra that Friday in the beginning of Season 6, see Michael off the following week towards the end of Season 7 and seeing Andy as new manager for the beginning of Season 8 starting December 19th. As you continue with this routine the last chunk of special, longer episode you can watch all Christmas Day or spread out them out for the remainder of the year. 

Whether this will just be another journey into The Office (US) or a long-embraced farewell you can still enjoy all the camera looks, romantic couple moments, friendship moments, awkward moments, parties, pranks, one-liners, office-colleague and coworker moments, advice, interviews, conference room meetings, “that’s what she said” jokes, introduction sequences, ending sequences, and lingering questions of Jim, Pam, Dwight, Michael, Holly, Jan, Andy, Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin, Meredith, Creed, Oscar, Angela, Ryan, Kelly, Toby, Gabe, Darryl, Erin, David Wallace, Charles Miner, Nellie Bertram, Robert California, Roy, Karen, Pete, Clark, Val and Todd Packer

Thank you, and Cherrio!

Robert Muller Testimony

Today's Robert Muller testimony highlights a very complicated, a long-haul change in how news and all media are shared, expressed and consumed. 

Both sides don't expect more to be said that has already been divulged in the report. But with the report being 400 pages and written as a legal document, it is confusing for those who do not have experience with law documents, that style of writing and that it is too long for the average American who is working and would need more background to understand the smaller details. Immediately 3% of the US was expected to read the Muller report based on Amazon sales, but buying something off Amazon is not the same as definitely reading the report and definitely not the entire report. Separately, understanding what is written is an entirely different arena. This brings us back to the overall shift in information (both fact and fiction) and the main purpose of today's hearing-- the idea is that those who cannot or aren't interested in all the nuances of the report, be told in a form they are used to so they may understand the majority and most crucial parts of Muller's research and findings. 

Breaking the hearing up and preparing it to be recorded allows us to consume the information how we're most used to it, short clips marked to become viral. But is the official line in the sand, separating the previous time of detailed, historic and verified facts from news and stories that we won't bother with until they can be easily binged; did we cross that line long ago, and if we have crossed it--how soon until we regret it

A Pen of Chocolate and Exhaustion (not bad)

Your YA novel title is:

A (object closest to you on the left) of (last thing you spent money on) and (your current emotion)

Add your results in the tags!

Hermione Granger

Hermione Jean Granger. Holy Crap, what can’t I say. You were EVERYTHING to me. Brilliantly confident, fierce, strong, brave. You were the first. Before Tris, Katniss, you were the diverse, WHOLE package. True and Strong. 

First, you were the best friend anyone could ask for. Almost every year Harry and Ron fought with you, exiled you, one thing or another, real or BS. But it didn’t matter, you PERSISTED, stayed strong, stayed with them. You saved there asses more times than JK Rowling could ever count. You are the golden standard of friendship and bravery. Seriously, I think he knew this as get got older, but YOU were Harry Potter’s best friend. Yes, Ron was there as someone who would go out with him, go on adventures with him, but you always knew what was going on his head and how to get to him, what he needed; again, you are the standard of true friendship we should all aspire to.  

Second, you are inspiring and compassionate and open-minded. Emma Watson has your influence to be grateful for in becoming who she is. Not only were you compassionate about House Elves but you didn’t care what anyone thought. You proudly and loudly kept fighting for their equality, fought when even your friends kept attacking you, and when you found out Dumbledore had house elves at Hogwarts you lost some respect for him, even thou he was doing the best he could with them. 

Third, you were just you. Luna was also unique and fascinated by the world around her, but you were also someone separate. You loved books, loved learning, always were intrigued and believed there was more out there than you previously thought (GIRL TOOK MUGGLE STUDIES--to be fair I probably would too). You re-awakened the part of me that loves the world around me, that’s curious and un-apologetically so. 

We could all go on forever, but these were the main things. You taught us how to be true friends, true to ourselves, and kind to all. While the Harry Potter Series has been a key component in the millennial outcry against hate and separatism, you were the reason we actively, loudly and strongly spit it in the face. Thank you so much Hermione Jean Granger, we did not deserve you, but we hope we are doing you proud. 

Darryl Philbin

Darryl’s Best Moment: Season Four, Episode Four: Money

When Kelly tells him “you’re going to have to make a choice. It’s either your daughter or me”

And without looking back at her, taking a moment, or even consider anything, just says “my daughter”.

Darryl’s Worst Moment: Season Nine, Episode Twenty-Two: A.A.R.M.

When he sneaks out of Dunder Mifflin, and doesn’t say goodbye to anyone.

Darryl’s Best line: Season Seven, Episode Thirteen: Ultimatum

“I’m telling you, don’t do it. I got nothing against strip clubs; but I do have something against them at noon, on a Monday. The day shift, at a strip club? You can’t unsee that”.

Darry’s Most Memorable Moment: Season Eight, Episode Three: Lotto

When he decided “My future isn’t going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls, it’s gonna be determined by two big black balls”.

Jo Bennet

Best Moment: Season Six, Episode Nineteen: St. Patrick’s Day

When she promotes Darryl; especially as she puts it as part of her townhall knowing that someone’s position at the office doesn’t represent their potential.

Worst Moment: Season Six, Episode Twenty-Six: Whistleblower

When he storms into the office about the printers and the whistleblower because they’ve now lost half their clients for “no damn good reason” and have them sign a form--probably binding--saying they didn’t.

This is wrong, first, because it wasn’t a ‘new issue’ and they hadn’t been upfront, and second, it does against all the morals and principle protecting whistleblowers who are already vulnerable as employees v employers.

Best Line: Season Seven, Episode Twenty-Five: Search Party Part One

When Dwight tries to text her his resume since she won’t consider him for a manager position

“ These are costing me ten cents apiece, you jackass--I’m roaming!”

Most Memorable: Season Six, Episode Nineteen: St. Patrick’s Day

When she lets us know the best way to become the most powerful women in Tallahassee is by working hard....marrying rich....or both like she did.

Best Company moments

1. Season Seven, Episode Two: Counseling

When they all support and try to help Dwight with the mall fiasco even before they knew what happened. After first storming in and demanding everyone “Boycott the Steamtown Mall” and then again when help him prepare to Pretty Woman the salesclerk (per Kelly’s suggestion).

Kelly “You shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo”

Oscar “Maybe not so monochromatic, not so matching”

Ryan, Kelly, Pam and then Ryan again “The glasses are a little….I liked them…I thought they were kinda cute…yeah I liked them too”

Darryl "Say Stuff like ‘good morning, good afternoon. People appreciate that’” Darryl

Andy “If someone offers you a cocktail, accept, but keeps your wits about you” Andy

Angela “Please and Thank you go a long way”

2. Season Seven, Episode Twenty-Two: Goodbye Michael

When they all sing Rent, and calculated the actual minutes (9,986,000)  that he had been at the company

3. Season Five, Episode Fourteen: Stress Relief Part 1

When, more than those you’d expect, began dancing to them singing ‘staying alive’ to know when to pump for CPR. First Andy joining in singing, then Kelly dancing, Phyllis and Creed bopping their heads, then Michael stops with the CPR and gets up to also dance as does Andy later dancing with the instructor and even Meredith and Dwight bopping their heads as well.

4. Season Eight, Episode Five: Garden Party

When they all come together to cheer Andy up after the Garden party; even to where they ignore him as he tries to leave and apologize with Darryl asking him he wants a “Cheeseburger or Hamburger” and Oscar calling him “Nard-dog” before tossing him a beer.

5. Season Seven, Episode Seven: Christening

When they all shit on the churchgoers at the Christening; they are their own type of family

Ryan “Teach for America girls are way hotter—but their nuts”

Phyliis “Who takes a kid to Mexico”

Stanley” I would run to Mexico if that’s where the sandwiches are”

Dwight “You wanna know my 11th Commandment, I will not be undersold”

Andy “What if the Moon was your car and Jupiter was your hairbrush”

Ending with half-assed claps and Ryan playing with his cup

6. Season Six, Episode Fifteen: Sabre

When they work together to repackage the Sabre box

7. Season Seven, Episode Nine: WUPHF.com

When they figured out the server password first thinking of things topical for when it was set, IT guys, and then that it made Michael laugh when he heard it, but Pam got offended.

8. Season Seven, Episode Six: Costume Contest

“Is there no limit to what Stanley won’t notice?”

Jim’s OJ wasn’t his hot coffee

Kevin dressed up as Phyllis

Andy naked except for his tie

The computer monitor being replaced by a cardboard box with a picture on it

Michael with fake teeth

The conference meeting having everyone but him sitting backwards and the meeting talking about the projections on Jupiter

Pam with a mustache

and Dwight with a pony

 Except—he notices the clock is slow and it’s after 5pm

9. Season Nine, Episode Eight: The Target

When Pete, Kevin, Erin, Meredith, Creed, Nellie and Darryl all work together to build the complaint tower and support Pam getting a complaint

10. Season Nine, Episode Eighteen: Promos

When they realize the camera crew followed them more than they realized, and all looked at the camera simultaneously

Meishu, Leider, Ledare

Today, many in the US celebrate a world of chocolate, candies and fantasy. While books tells us the stories of ourselves, our community, those we don’t know and those we will never meet the public spaces we can enjoy these stories, explore and grow. But while many of these stories are true and these public spaces not all in libraries, many of the libraries would be empty if existing at all if not for...authors. 

November 1st is National Author Day, Gracia!

Get Art the Vote

Whether your focus is guns, the environment, big banks, the wall. 

You have the right to vote, VOTE!

You have the ability to vote, VOTE!

You have the most important thing needed to change and have the future you want, you have the power that comes from your vote, VOTE!

and if for some reason you don’t have an opinion, talk to your friends, talk to those who cannot vote, don’t take this for granted

Sybill Trelawney

Sybill

This picture describes you the best to me. This doe-eyed, whiny, annoying middle school child (probably another reason her and Lavender connected so well). As a Hermione-type to begin with (and only increasing as I age) it’s not surprising that I found Sybil and her class to be ridiculous, but there are two parts to that. First, not being religious or believing in how when I was born controls that much of my life, the class itself was a bit frou-frou and crap and would be no matter who was teaching it. Secondly, she is the queen of frou-frou. For the most part, she had no real talent or skills but pretended she was this great predictor of everything and just a fraud, and that’s what upset me the most. 

The universe is amazing, we can learn so much, but for her, it was all about her and the universe! (and how was she a Ravenclaw? More than Pettigrew I need a recount on that one) it was how she approached the material and how she saw herself that made her most distasteful because she wasn’t even a semi-good seer (that she knew of). She thought she was better than everyone else (much like Gilderoy--another Ravenclaw, definitely a pattern) for things that weren’t even her strengths, she was just of damn full of herself and annoying. But really, I don’t care. All of these things were annoying, she’s annoying but that’s it. She’s nothing more to me, so one lesson to glean, don’t be like her. But of course, the other lesson she also wouldn’t know about it as she didn’t know herself, expect the unexpected. 

In a way it’s sad, thou she didn’t need to know and didn’t need to be a Seer, she actually was one, in the most crucial of times. Damn Universe.  Somehow, through all that fluff and pompous, she made two predictions that greatly altered the world and never knew this. On one hand, you could say this means that you should believe in yourself, but I’m not saying that, what I am saying is that there are miracles, there is the universe and people can do unexpected and extraordinary things: even if they don’t know it. Crazy