*at The Wayne’s For A BBQ*

one must imagine neal caffrey happy

the way ravi was so starry eyed and throwing himself into eddie’s arms was so funny. like eddie pulled that idea straight from a cartoon basically and its not like all that unheard of for them to use zip lines for rescues anyway and here comes ravi “how did you come up with that?? 🤩🤩🤩” panikkar

dick and jason being antagonistic siblings. no more soft shit let them punch each other at 7am bcs jason ate the last of dicks cereal. dick loses a tooth and they’re banished to opposite sides of the house until they agree to apologise to each other. they’re not allowed to sit next to each other on the couch/during meetings bcs they always end up trying to shove each other off their seats. one time jason came all the way to the manor, walked in, shot dick in the face with a water pistol, and then went back home to crime alley without saying a word. the first time red hood was asked to join the jla for a briefing on the watchtower nightwing ended up sumo-slamming him into the table and the entire jl were so freaked out by the uncharacteristic crash out that they thought nightwing was compromised by mind control, only for batman to tiredly inform them that it was because red hood had just messaged nightwing in the family groupchat that he ‘looked like a little bitch with that new haircut’.

theyre assholes with a baffling childhood bond let them act like it

Gripping him tight or something like that

Ref

eddie figures out his feelings post-texas and then he's talking to hen about it and he's like "well i can't make a move Now. i'm his landlord. that's like an abuse of power or something right?"

and she's like "eddie you two sleep in the Same Bed"

I think it'd be funny if Damian kept up his formal speech patterns for the sole purpose of appearance. Originally, he would've learned to speak that way in the League, but I feel like Jason's informality and unseriousness would rub off on him eventually.

Alfred is gone for the week and Bruce is cooking for the bats

Bruce: "Alright guys, it's a little burnt, but it still might be good."

Tim, squinting his eyes at the plate: "B, it looks radioactive.."

Damian: "Father, I will not be consuming this horrible dish. It seems itself to be inedible, and I will not be poisoned by your lack of skill in the food department."

Later

Damian, on the phone with Jason: "It looked like shit! He served us all mystery meat, Todd. Bring me some decent food right now or I'm killing myself."

Jason: "Jeez, kid, take a chill pill or something. I'm on my way."

Damian: "There is no pill chill enough for me to take, Todd! I can't keep starving myself whenever Dad is put in charge. He's going to kill us all on accident!"

The Batfam definitely has a group chat called "Official Mission Communications ONLY" that Bruce created with the strictest instructions about its purpose.

It lasted exactly 12 hours before Dick sent a meme.

Now it's just chaos, but Bruce never leaves because secretly it's how he keeps tabs on everyone.

Every few weeks he'll respond to 74 messages of nonsense with a single "Focus." and everyone behaves for approximately 5 minutes.

The real mission communications happen in individual texts directly to Bruce, who feels a tiny spark of relief each time his phone pings with "OFFICIAL MISSION CHAT (217 unread messages)" because it means they're all still alive enough to be annoying.

Occasionally in the middle of arguments about cereal rankings and who stole whose equipment, Bruce will just type "Status?" and everyone immediately responds with their location and condition. No one ever comments on this ritual, but everyone participates without fail.

Even Jason, who once replied "bleeding out in an alley but the cereal argument is worth it" which resulted in five vigilantes converging on his location in under three minutes.

The most treasured screenshot in Tim's blackmail folder is from the one time Bruce accidentally sent "proud of you all" at 3:42 AM after a particularly rough night. No one has ever mentioned it directly, but Damian has it printed and hidden in his sketchbook.

rb if you think asexual people are cool

spn is so funny bc you’ll be watching the show and the fallen angel gets sent to heaven conversion therapy and lobotomized repeatedly to stop his feelings for one human being and then when he’s brainwashed and has said human beaten and bloody on his knees and they’re holding hands the human is begging not to live but for the angel to come back to him.

“I need you,” he says, and it gets through to the angel.

then the season gag reel comes out and the actors are fucking around and say “you’re my baby daddy” and “i love you too” and and trying to shove one guy’s face into the other’s crotch.

then the script for the episode makes the rounds and you find out the already devastating “i need you” was originally “i love you”

then you go to a convention and someone asks about chemistry between the characters and they call you a sick freak and put you in gay jail for having impure thoughts about the Very Heterosexual men on tv.

then years later they allegedly pay for research where they allegedly had people rate the gayness of this exact scene to get the public’s opinion on hypothetically making this relationship explicitly gay. Allegedly.