What's My Biggest Fear? Why, Thank You For Asking.
what's my biggest fear? why, thank you for asking.
one day realizing that i don't remember the names of the girls i sit with at lunch. one day realizing i don't remember the names of the kids in my classes. one day realizing i don't remember what my friends really looked like. realizing i don't remember their favorite colours. or where they're from. or what their favorite class is. who their favorite teacher is.
realizing i don't know where the girls i sit with at lunch are right now. if they've had kids. if they've gotten married. what they're studying. what they studied. what they're job is. if they've traveled. if they've left the country. if they've moved streets or towns or counties or states.
realizing that time has drawn us apart. currently we are an interwoven thread, every single one of us so much of the other, every single one of the other so much of us, but in 5 years or 10 or 15 - we might be strangers. realizing that time had strung us together, made us all so important to one another, just to pull us apart slowly. to make us memories. photographs. old texts. saved snapchats. journal entries.
my biggest fear is time - pulling me along a path that i have absolutely no choice but to follow. no choice to stop and change. what i do, i do. what i did, i did.
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the wckd suits had me going feral
its up!!! i hope yall like it, and leave a comment!
<3
yknow college rory may have been stupid but them fits? ate DOWNNNN
tfw your fyp turns into stranger things edits and compilations and bloopers again and you realize that this is the last time it'll happen.
please ill do anything 🙏🙏😭
re-blog if you're accepting anonymous asks from anyone about anything
Instagram; hunterraiehorror
oh if im not gonna be able to tell people my insane stupid funny stories when im all old and grandma idk what i would do. cuz best believe i am not dying without living a life. i want to do so much i want to have fun. idgaf if i get in trouble or wvtr i js wanna live and live fun.
live a little y'know?
as ive said, im watching gilmore girls rn. and she's with logan and jess js showed up again. and OHHHH MAAAA GAWDDDD HES AMAZING??????? HES NOT A DOUCHEBAG???? AND HES SMART AND HE GOT HIMSELF TOGETHER AND FIXED HIMSELF UP?????? AND HE WROTE A BOOK AND CAME DOWN TO HAND DELIVER IT TO RORYY???????
HE. HAND. DELIVERED. IT. TO. RORY.
JESS SUPREMACY PLEASEEE >>>>>
so today i bought a journal, ripped a piece of paper out of a different old journal, and wrote "the book of people" on said piece of paper, and taped it to the cover of my new journal.
then, i skipped two pages and titled the page "mom". i proceeded to write - what i could only describe as - a letter of sorts, to my mom. now of course, she will never see this letter, nor will anyone else, so i did my best to be as truthful as i could possibly be. im not sure why but, even in my journal, i tend to censor myself a little - im not fully honest. i say i am, but im not. i did try tho.
after i finished my letter, where i wrote all my feelings towards my mother - the good and bad - i went back a page, and titled it "table of contents" and skipped a line and wrote "mom (1-4)".
the idea of this is to, essentially, write a letter to everybody in my life and fill the book up with it - a book of people.
im not sure why i wrote this or why im sharing this. but it was fun. i found that when i wrote this letter, i was able to reflect on a lot of things. able to think back on things, and see things clearer. now of course, the idea of writing things down to better process it isn't new.
i think, overall, im js excited. to write about all these people who i love. and of course, the name is "the book of people" so i have to write about the people i hate too. not fun. but idk. i js wanted to share. have a good night y'all.
cuz this JUST happened to me😭
Holy moly dude.
The feeling you feel when you finally break free of a writers block. When you finally finish that paragraph that you had no idea how to complete. When you finally find a way to fix that story that always felt incomplete. That amazing feeling that makes you feel like ur on top of the world and untouchable.
I live for it.
oh how jealous i am of people with money.
its not even the people that have a lot of money, y'know like celebrities or the top 1% (fuck yall) or lawyers and doctors, not them.
but the people, the regular people, like me that's family have money. that have bathrooms in all five of their bedrooms. that have a pool in their backyard. that have every single kitchen appliance known to man. that shop at lululemon and brandy melville and hollister and h&m. that go on two yearly trips.
the people who grew up never seeing their parents worry about money. that never had to hear, "we need money for other things," or "y'know we can't buy that," or "maybe later." never had to not ask for something because you saw how much it cost. never had to beg their parents for $50 to hang out with friends instead of $20.
im friends with those people, that have money. and everytime i go to their house, i feel disgusting. its not that we don't have money, it's that they have so much more of it. and it's evident in everything about them. their clothes, their shoes, their hair, their skin, their makeup, their phone. their house, their room, their bed, their bathroom.
god, im so jealous.
