I Lied To You. We Aren’t Having Sex, Put Your Clothes Back On. It’s Time For Me To Explain To You

The monthly routine yk how it goes

i used to have no hope for the future but now i'm thinking. i want rich people food. i want rare sirloin steak. i've never had sirloin steak in my life. i think i want to try it before i die.

that "OKAY SO" before someone u love starts infodumping........ most blessed feeling in the world

if this gets 100,000 notes then i, the worlds greatest space agency will personally shoot donald trump into the sun

do you think the trend “would you still love me if i was a worm” is banned in the archives since the prentiss incident. like. tim says it as a joke once and jon almost spills his coffee on the carpet with how fast he turns around  

some of you have never treated a cat with enough love and kindness to experience their adoration and trust and it shows

A restaurant named You're Not Supposed To Be Here, where the whole point is that the vibes are unnerving. The lighting is weird, the whole place has a faint scent that's not a bad smell, but it's certainly not food smell and you can't quite identify what the hell it is. The music is weirdly janky and you can't quite tell what's wrong with it, the vocals aren't exactly garbled but sung in a language you swear you've never heard anywhere and couldn't name if you tried. Only hiring staff who have anxiety and they're 100% permitted to show how much your presence here stresses them out.