When She Says She Doesn’t Send Nudes

Then lay down

I can’t stand sitting

One reblog to restore the balance

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

cats are so fake like they’re theoretically related to apex predators and yet they weigh 8 pounds, sleep 20 hours a day, and scream if you feed them half an hour later than usual

I bought the mug. Can't wait to get it

New merch! Available until September 3!

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[Tees | Hoodies | Sweatshirts | Mugs]

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Welcome to the space age, ladies and gentlemen

Let's just try this

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

Please keep it going

My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said “oh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.”

I’m sorry?

That’s a challenge.

Oreos aquired.

I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first

But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she can’t find the package

The photo above is the closest humanity has ever come to creating Medusa. If you were to look at this, you would die instantly. 

The image is of a reactor core lava formation in the basement of the Chernobyl nuclear plant. It’s called the Elephant’s Foot and weighs hundreds of tons, but is only a couple meters across.

Oh, and regarding the Medusa thing, this picture was taken through a mirror around the corner of the hallway. Because the wheeled camera they sent up to take pictures of it was destroyed by the radiation. The Elephant’s Foot is almost as if it is a living creature.

Coconut has hair. Coconut has flesh. Coconut has milk. Coconut is a mammal.

Oof. Sorry man, I quit this job like thirty seconds ago.

corporate is telling me that I have to kiss you on the cheek and also go to the movies with you