Not To Be Negative But Some Things Really Are Unforgivable So Can Yall Like Stop Insisting That We’re

to my abusers

Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson

parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good

parent pulled on my hair to force me to move

parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me

parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them

parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them

parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body

parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them

parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping

parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life

parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries

parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say

parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat 

parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me

parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture

parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once

parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice

parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun

parent insulted and devalued something really important to me

parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me

parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once

parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault

parent shamed me for my physical appearance

parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough

parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all

parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults

parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort

parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms

parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness

parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter

parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst

parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them

parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away

parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change

parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change

parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation

parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy

parent assured me that nobody will ever want me 

parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse

parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker

parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”

parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time

parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries

parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge

parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence

parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything

parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks

parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start

parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy

parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument

parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it 

parent threatened to leave me

parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did

parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions

parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation

parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof

parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me

parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly

parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick

parent didn’t notice I was injured

parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school

parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma 

parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed

parent didn’t notice I was depressed

parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself

parent didn’t notice I was suicidal

parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused

parent didn’t notice I was being bullied

parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed

parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care

parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive

when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

parent made me feel ashamed for needing money

parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them

parent only gave me minimal money to survive 

parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me

parent took the money I earned from me

parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)

parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions

parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything

parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves

parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not

parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity

parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age

parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!

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wanna come over sometime? we can traumatic flashbacks and chill?

like. here’s a shoutout to the abuse victims who weren’t “nice”. who haven’t been submissive and soft and kind to their abusers, who were angry and hurt them - purposefully or not -, who screamed at them, who didn’t treat the person that hurt them so much well. who became toxic for their abusers because they couldn’t or wouldn’t handle it “nicely”. who tried to speak up, who caused arguments, who “provoked” further abuse by being rude and mean and harsh. who were angry and hurt and wanted to pay their abusers back for what they did to them. who realised something was off and refused to just accept it, who seemed like “bad people” without context because the abuse has made them angry and unwilling to be nice anymore. who aren’t “nice” anymore, who are still angry and don’t want to try because they tried and were hurt anyway. you are all valid, and no matter how you reacted you didn’t deserve the abuse. you are not the same as your abuser just because of how you dealt with the situation. it is not and has never been your fault. they hurt you, and they never had the right to.

one of the worst things is when your abuser is suddenly very nice to you and you ask yourself whether they are really an abuser and maybe you were just overreacting and you feel mean for even thinking that they abused you (but then they abuse you over and over again and then they're nice again for a few hours, causing you to doubt everything again)

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The trauma side of tumblr really seems to focus on survivors of csa, and that’s completely understandable, but I don’t see enough posts about kids who had to deal with serious neglect/emotional abuse. It can be devastating as well

shoutout to kids who had to grow up too fast because their parents never allowed them to be a kid

shoutout to kids who had to fend for themselves every day, or even little siblings

shoutout to kids who felt like the parent

shoutout to kids who cling hard to people because they never got the proper love and care that a parent should provide

shoutout to kids who have health issues because they were never taken care of, and it’s hard to recover from

shoutout to kids who felt abandoned and empty and like they had no childhood because their family wasn’t there 

You’re all valid and I’m so sorry for what we’ve had to go through. It’s tough. And I hope we can all heal from it