Baby Harpy?

People say life is short, but it’s literally the longest thing you’ll ever do. (source)

Hug your parents when they want one because some parents are just big kids who can’t hug their parents anymore

No matter how many kids are waiting to see Santa, you can’t open up another line with a second Santa (source)

when you get to the part of the book when your OTP kiss for the first time:

Live every day like it’s your last is fiscally irresponsible. Instead live like every day you have left will be the same, and if your unhappy with it make a small change until everyday is a good day to be your last.

Attractive people with a shitty personality is the real life equivalent of a click-bait article with a catchy heading

When you scroll down, nothing actually moves up your screen. Certain pixels are just changing colour.

Boobytrap reversed is partyboob. (source)

If you’ve slept with less than 12 people, then sleeping with you is a more exclusive club than walking on the moon.

Boobs and butts have no sexual functions, so they’re just the fetish with the world’s biggest consensus. (source)