What Happened?

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I don’t know what love is

I just can’t wrap my head around it

Like the size of the universe

Love makes people do crazy things, but it just usually makes me curse

How could you not lose hope and keep lining up shells?

Because of love

I am third wheeling it

And it’s lonely

But not for the lovers, only

They are unconsciously awake

Let’s travel

And get a plane ticket

To a place where our hearts don’t feel heavy with atmosphere

Dear,

Let’s start again

Even if I feel like a spring…

Stressed out

Is how I work

Otherwise

I just sit on my ass instead of taking to the skies

I need to get away to any other place

A new reality where I will not be a sad tragedy

But will have a happily ever after

Filled with much laughter

Because any other place has got to be better  

I currently live in a deep cave of a library, that’s full of empty dreams

I stare at the ceiling as I scream with laryngitis

And I feel the shelves towering over me, all around

I'm a story that someone forgot to put down

And I just want to be put on the shelf

Sometimes it seems like I can see the most clearly when I am blinded by tears

Because that’s when I'm not avoiding my feelings

It’s like I am able to see the lopsided way the world moves

The inner working grooves

That are so complicatingly simple

I wonder not when, but if the pieces will ever fall together

Being the mismatching misfit that I am

I don’t know if I am a puzzle that can be put together; maybe I was made wrong

All along,

A factory mishap

I want you to hold me as close as pages of a book that are bound to the spine

Because maybe

You could force and weld pieces of me together and get readjusted

As I fall apart and become more rusted

Like the tin man  

I have a heart

I just don’t like to let on to that,

It’s actually not stone cold at all

It’s quite the opposite

It’s all mushy and squishy

Let’s Start A Riot

Unpenetratable silence

Every movement amplified

But it's just because it's quiet

Can we silently start a riot? It's quiet enough to hear a pin drop 

You can hear people breathe

But that's because it's quiet

Can we please start a riot? Every move of this pencil sounds like it hurts

Trillions of graphite atoms screaming

My imagination goes crazy when it's too quiet

For my sanity, someone start a riot Or at least start talking

Tapping your foot would do

To stop the awkward quiet

Get us out of here so lead a riot When I'm alone, battling on my own

I want to listen to music for the illusion,

That it is not quiet

So I don't start a riot Music and words keep me sane

When I can no longer go,

Into the anxiety provoking quiet

Music and poetry are my silent riot

You Knocked My Walls Down

You managed to knock down my walls

Which in itself

Is an impressive task

You knocked them down

And now I'm left in this deserted wasteland

Of thoughts

I look around

At the angry graffiti

That I am not proud of

I've built Berlin Walls

Around myself

And it's a fresh feeling having them knocked down

But I'm scared

Of the creepers

And the things that live in the shadows of the trees

You knocked my walls down

And now all that’s left is

Me

Superhero

A superhero is someone who has strength Not super stretchy length

Strength is when someone else can put themselves in back of you In other words they put you first, that’s what they do

Superheroes are ordinary people Not the ones that have a cape and are flying over the church steeple

Superheroes are caring They are never judging you and staring

The medics that show up at a fair Just so everyone is safe, no outside facing underwear

Superheroes have courage but still fear I don’t blame them, they don’t have the head gear

The ones that rather compassion Over fashion

The ones that are brave Everyone they can’t always save

This is reality, some of the innocents are dead Some go unfed

Who are your superheroes? I hope that you answer doesn’t start with a zero

Autumn Falls

I'm blowing warmth into my hands, As autumn falls like the leaves belonging to it The wind has regained its chipperness My booted feet begin to get clumsy People who say you should keep your head, Up; don’t know what they are talking about There are some bad roots you have to look down for Unless you want to get knocked down again The leaves changed fast this year Some are already brown, dry and ready to be decomposed Where’s your warm hand I thought I was holding? Where did I lose my big coat? Were you on the ship I purposely deserted and sank? Good! That’s what I wanted, At the time Now I'm lost with my flannel shirt and my snaky soul My cold nose and my mittens that no longer fit Well, decisions will get you someplace in the woods My best days are long behind and far ahead At least I can’t see my breath yet I have to find my clearing on my own That will be tough but I got myself here, I have to get myself back out Autumn you will not make me fall!

Wholeness

I feel comfortable right now

In this moment

I’m warm

I’m tired

I’m not freaking out

I feel like a little kid in this state of innocence

But this moment has just been ruined by my colon

In other words

I have to poop

Fucking mother nature

You must be laughing at me

But since tomorrow is my birthday

I suppose I should let you have a laugh

But please be careful

With your volcanoes

And your avalanches

But thank you for this moment

Full of my favorite things,

Music,

Warmth,

Fuzzy blanket,

Yarn,

Silly conversations with friends,

A head of ideas,

And lastly,

A feeling of completeness

Or wholeness

Journaling

I leave my journal laying open at night, hoping that the words will fly off the page

And drift out the window into the night air

And dance around the moon

I should start dreaming soon

Too many bugs flying around my world

You wouldn’t want forever

People change

And you’ve never seen my rage

I miss your calming

Smooth

Sing-song voice

You left me no choice

But to trust

And live in the exhilarating moment

And taught me that you don’t have to chase

Or try to erase

Moments

Of happiness and sadness

The magic is already there

Sparking in the air

Getting stuck in your crazy hair

That I miss more than you'd ever know

I'm stuck in negative time

While forgetting how to rhyme

Where are my feelings?

Behind my eyes

Sharp

Hidden under the weathered tarp

One day I will finish writing my story

And I’ll let the words swarm you like a tornado of bees

Or a meteor shower

A universe with all the power

Paranoia

I'm not clean

I'm rusted

I'm so close to being busted

‘bout time I did

Did I really think I could make it,

Without falling into that pit?

Mount my head to the wall

Like I am a piece of art

And nothing more than a fart

Parading into my storm

In your way trying to make me happy

It’s leaving me feeling crappy

Ask me again

What it’s like to feel,

The spin of this lopsided wheel

Rationally shrugging

Give me away, Kenzie

Then I’ll call it more of a frenzy

A secret

If you're accepting, I don’t care if you know

I'm notorious for my one none existent greeting

Not to mention the fact

That I might not be what you think

With my virtual paper and ink

Out with failure being my success

In predicting my life, I didn’t really see this

With octopus camouflage, it’s hit or miss

Imagine me as you did before

To go and fix it back

Next time when I'm unable to, I’ll pick up my own heavy slack

Dead on the inside

I'm rotting, in my worn out shell

I think this just turned back into hell

World and Politics

Why can’t we all be more like death?

Not giving a care

But taking all

Fighting those with a strong will to live, very unfair Bringing people back home to their center of magic earth

Stardust people

Why can’t we work together and fight this?

Is it because some believe it’s the end and not to mess with the steeple I guess to get a compromise they must argue themselves in circles

Two sides like an infinity sign

Adding onto ideas and holding ground back and forth

I think we the people need to rewind What are we actually trying to achieve?

Rather than spewing insults and points back and forth

We could keep the goal in mind, for us to save the world

The glaciers melting in the North We the people, never forget to shake hands at the end

That’s my favorite part

When we all come together,

We are all on this planet with similar problems; I hope we can live heart to heart

Please don't leave

I tell you not to

But I can’t truly stop you

I hope you realize that I'm trying

I'm not lying

I want to teach you how to fight

With all your might

Don’t let the inside voices take over

You’re my four leaf clover

You can do this

Sorry my advice might be amiss

You are strong

No I'm not wrong

I can see it in you

This you can get through

I'm always here

You are going to have to face the mirror

That I know you hate

You might want to pay more attention to your gait

You can tell a lot about a person just by looking at the way they walk

Don’t let those voices talk

Duck tape

Just anything so you can escape

You I believe in

You have my special mocking jay pin

Trust me I know what it’s like

That long, lonely, dark hike

I'm having my own problems too

I've got you

Please don’t leave

When you do I greave

How I want to save you, Kim

But I'm just too weak to go out on that extra shaky limb

I believe that, that battle is yours

You'll find the other doors

People all say that we’re safe and sound

But our little worlds go round and round

Don’t leave like that

Because then I can’t tell you to look out for that black cat

After that I'm no use

I can’t slip you out of that noose

Just don’t leave

Then there’s nothing to achieve

You are important

At the moment we’re just dormant

But we will someday come alive

Just give it five

Five what? you may ask

Life is sometimes a hard task

But you have me

If you would just believe

Take the leap

Have faith that it isn’t so deep

I beg you just please don’t leave