Please Don't Leave

Lachrymorose

Seconds away from crying

This Hoover Dam of an eyelid is doing a good job

But it’s seconds away from breaking

All these tears dammed up inside could make Lake Lachrymose,

Leeches, Aunt Josephine and all

That was until she took the fall...

Tears on a cliff

Stacked up on a penny

About to spill over the thin edge

My hot tears

Have the potential

To set this place on fire

I know that

If I were to let them tumble down

They would burn my flesh with streams of lava

Droplets from the sun

Rain from Venus

This salt water is boiling within

Like tears from Rappaccini’s daughter

I am on my own

For I am poison

But I refuse to let them fall

Like pieces of hell

Raining from the ceiling

My Stupid Castle

And it looks like

This could be the end

Of this perfect palace

This new life

Was so sweet

With beginners luck

The fairy godmother magic

Could only hold out for so long

A kite flying

Then getting pulled back down

By the person who is flying it

At least

I didn’t get stuck

In a tree

My stupid castle

Was not built by a genius

It was built

By this peasant

Who was not destined to be a ruler

I now see myself once again

As not worthy

And I was silly to think I was

Depression

Is trying to kiss me

And sneak into my system

Through my chapped, chewed, cracked lips

I thought that we weren’t dating anymore, just friends

I can only keep

My dreams alive for so long

Before I become too worn down to maintain them

Being whipped

By disappointment

I can feel

Failure

Making its poisonous way back into my blood

I don’t know how to

Make myself clean again,

By sterilizing my depression

With

Hope

Inside

The past is the past

It may not have been the best

Let’s just leave it at that

But soon I'll be free from this wrecked nest

Right now it's not fun

It's those memories

I should hurry up, get over it and be done

Families that feel like enemies

The stares that pierce through you

They judge

But they don't have a clue

Their stubborn heads won't budge

I now look forward, so don't make me look back

I will be better someday

I won the treasure by slapping the jack

I didn't mean it like that way

No one to trust

No one to hold and clutch

Heat full of tumble weeds and dust

Not even a love touch

I was invisible

They didn't care

But anything is live-able

So I built my own lair

They didn't pay attention either

Suck it up and deal

Never got a breather

No one cares how I really feel

Say that you love me then break me like a china plate

Why did you make me sit on a towel?

Well now you're too late

Never had good bowels

Always felt out of place

I'm sorry but some things can't be forgiven

After things happened I don't feel safe

But I'm going to keep on live'n

Always felt different and weird

In a bad way

I tried to make all of it disappear

Nobody I wanted ever stayed

Tears roll'n down my cheek

They hit the floor like glass

The feelings that are deep down are antique

It can happen that fast

I've learned how to turn myself into a rock

Always picking up my own head

It causes me to have writers block

While people eat the meat, I don't whine and take the bread

No one cared if my head drooped down

I was forced to walk alone

They ignored me when one my face there was a frown

That's when my heart turned to stone

A New Start

I feel the warmth

Of the light at the end of the tunnel

I think this is the last

Of the darkness

Well at least for a while

So here's to a new start

Here's to a change

That will make my future self scream,

Plot twist!

Plot twist!

One so well written by the insanity of reality

That it catches god by surprise

A castle of freshly grown hope

A castle that I built out of the crap in my life

A new life of being alone

I must learn to stretch my wings once in a while

I must learn to stop

Beating myself up

I think

That i should be brave enough

To be me

Which is a simple task for some

I think that this is the last

Of the darkness for now

Road Rage From Others

Menacing eyes

Illuminated with anger

Glaring into the mirror

I dare not do what they want

For I would be breaking the law

Evil eyes pushing me onward

Giving me no mercy

They are the lit flame underneath my anxiety

Glowing just so they know that I can see them

They make me say I'm sorry repeatedly to them

As if I don’t have a right to be there

I must look forward

There isn’t anything I can do about those eyes

That tell me to do things

I don’t want to do

I no longer want to go down this soulless road

With machines that don’t have empathy

Sometimes I get lucky though

And one of the eyes starts to wink at me

Then they disappear as they take a turn

The one question I must ask is,

Why so much anger,

Towards a stranger who is trying to stay away from danger?

I Am Sick, But How?

It won’t stop running I won’t stop chasing Instead I find myself pacing Awful is when you can’t think All of my friends are off and on sick As we get better, we’ll come back to butt kick Mom, let me do what I want Monsters are in my veins My eyes, they make bloodshot and they strain Sniffles are evil Super fun when they stop Stay silent and listen, you'll be able to hear me drop I refuse to go to the doctor Inventive is what you become In my world, my guitar I’ll strum Comparing myself to others, I need to stop Constantly, I find a new tissue in my hand Cramping, I force myself to stand Knuckle, with me monster! Knife to my life Kazoo in hand, no I’ll learn the fife! Blurred glasses Burning nose Bring a fire hose Ugly monster Utterly terrifying is how I look Useful is the medicine I took The sneezes that make your, Throat kill The fever chill How am I going to survive tomorrow? How am I going to get through school? How do you know when you’re being a fool? Orderly is everyone else Out of service is how I feel Ordinary is not how I peel What to do? Which friend to blame? Who stole my burning flame?

You were in Love with Love

Late night conversations

Me and my hesitations

Let’s not forget those limitations

I'm smarter than before

I was naive when I was rich; I have common sense now that I'm poor

I found my way around the moor

You're all hurt now but I'm not

In love with love you got caught

Did you find that a twist in the plot?

You with your "Oh, okays"

You left me with wasted days

Wishing that if I sat still long enough, I'd just decay

I wanted to go into a state of nonexistence

Instead I ended up becoming more resistant

Happiness in the far distance

It turns out, you were not the sun

In the cold you don't seem to have fun

You didn't bother to learn my puns

I'm disappointed not mad

That lad,

Isn't the reason I'm sad

When you flirt

It hurts

I no longer have to share dessert!

"She doesn't deserve to be ignored"

I cut the cord

So get out of my life with your longboard

Her Seasons

I love her so much

I miss her so much

That I have started to see her in not just people

But the seasons

In winter is her snow white skin

And her dark hair like the silhouettes of bare trees

She can speak of darkness

But her brightness shows such innocence

The contrast of black and white

Makes her seem like an Oreo that I would enjoy eating

Fall is her softness like fuzzy blankets and pumpkin spice

And mellow colorful leaves soaring from branches

Spring is the liveliness in her bright eyes

It is hope for things to come

She smells like the best kind of flower

Without her I have no power

Summer is her hotness

And her little black summer dress

For now the sun is going down

I don’t want this to ever end

But I will have to live another day, week, month, year

Without Mother Nature’s seasons

Rachel

Those damn ex’s

Leave your brain perplexed

Walks lightly

Thinks brightly

Favorite color is green

Just like a spleen

Understands your weird, random metaphors

Doesn’t waste her time and energy knocking down unnecessary doors

The grand piano player

Has many layers

Some that I’ll probably never get to see

Gave away her key

Seems pretty sophisticated

Good fated

Always saying that everyone has their own fight

Not afraid to spend the night

Looking out for me

Lets my thoughts be

She’s courageous

She’s contagious

You’ll always want her around

Leaves you thinking new thoughts like why don’t you just push off the ground

What are you hiding under there?

Doesn’t take a stupid dare

Goes beyond

Knows about that dirty mucky messed up pond

Promises you that you can fly

Look at those blue eyes

Deep

Proves the secrets that she keeps

Fell and scraped her knee

Got stung by the swarm of stinging bees

But stood

To show life that she could

So smart

She’s off the chart

So much more to learn

In life there are so many places to turn...

Buried Deep

Die

Survive

Die

Survive

It's already buried deep down there

I hide it behind a secret glare

"Maybe someday we'll talk"

Could you just take a walk?

Fuck off

Step off

I'm fine

What I'm thinking is all mine

Tell? Never

Whatever

I'm fine I tried to portray

Just go away

Why must you ask every time?

The answer is always going to be no, and that I'm fine

The more you bring it up the more I'm going to think

I don't want to think about it, tears no longer on the brink

It's all over and done

It's buried all the way, just leave it, if you get pushier trust me I'll run

Some relationships I don't want to mend

That hand don't lend

It's been too long

What's wrong?

I'll never tell

It's already buried deep in a well

You've said that you've been there

And everywhere

But you don't know

Just go

You wouldn't get it

But it's already buried in a pit

In your office, pure,

Adrenaline, you'll never know what I endure

In there my mask 

Will always last

I'll never tell, clenched teeth

It's already buried beneath

Just give it up

Because I'll never throw it up

Solid living death

Forever hold my breath