Road Rage From Others

Are You On My Team?

I'm not great at playing offense

Let's get that out of the way

But it's nice to meet you

I don't hit home runs

But I know how to throw

Like an underdog

I am defensive when I'm not talking

It's the thing I can do

It's really just the illusion of control

Being offensive

Is a thing that I can't really seem to be able to do

I'm too nice

So I don't set boundaries

Or go around punching people in the face

Because some people probably deserve it

I'm more of a pitcher

Of complaints

Rather than a batter

So

Before you go I must ask,

Are you on my team?

Running And Fighting

All the wrong words rhyme

This poetry thing is getting old

And it’s hard to break patterns

It’s hard to be constantly doing something that terrifies you

So here is a messy clump of words with no organization

Here’s me, and I'm not sure who I am without poetry

It might be starting to fade because I've worn it out

But I don’t want to stop

At least not yet

Poetry is the only way I am allowed to rebel

That is without suffering the consequences

Writing is my way of running and fighting

Running and fighting is all I know

Running and fighting is all human nature knows

A lack of life and sleep makes me want to quit,

Running and fighting

Should I try to make the right words rhyme,

Even if it makes me more tired?

I guess that’s what I’ll do,

To make it feel like I’m getting somewhere,

With my endless, restless, wandering…

Wandering…

           Wandering…

                       Wandering

In The Eye Of The Storm

I'm in the eye of the storm

It’s a nice break but I know it’s not over

The forecast shows another month of hell

In my brain that might not go over very well

It could become deformed

Rain will grow a green four leaf clover

Clear blue skies

And because of them, sometimes my heart dies

I don’t know the next time I’ll meet the sun again

I don’t care how long the storm is, I'm not going to stop

The odds I have to beat

It’s not easy at all stuck in the heat

The whispers of wind from way back when,

My jaw didn’t pop

When I could think freely without stress

Back when I didn’t know what made a mess

But it wasn’t great back then either

When my future comes I have to keep in mind that I can’t control what others think

Let them think whatever the hell they want

Let us be stupidly nonchalant

Dark clouds and rainstorms neither

Are the things that make you stink

Don’t believe in staying inside on rainy days

I don’t need the sun’s praise

I feel anxious for what my future could hold

I have grit

How will I make it much longer?

How much farther do I have to go?

I want to see books getting sold

Between a rock and a hard place I do not want to sit

I'm in the eye

And that gives me some time to think

SOS

This captain is going down with his ship

Of course I have thought about ditching and abandoning

But I guess it’s seen as better if you just sink with your heart,

When you know you’ve failed

I am superman

I am a man of steel

I am a king

Of course I'm scared

But “Even if all you do is fail, then fail and fail again”

I'm climbing a ladder and I'm scared I won’t be able to get back down

Once I make it to the top I must brace myself for the dreaded fall

I am scared

I am not shore

I am crazy within my idiocy

I must do what floats my boat

My life is a sinking ship, not Noah’s Ark

And I can’t find the life boats

Or the flare

I am an iceberg

I am a rock

I am an island

I am sinking on the quicksand of confusion from the ship of Theseus

I should hold my breath

And put a message in a bottle

That won’t make it back to land in time

Dit dit dit

Da da da

Dit dit dit

A Walk To The Park

Leaves and stones 

Leaves and stones

Leave me alone

Weeds and side walks

Weeds and side walks

I don't want to talk

Sky and trees

Sky and trees

Where are the bees?

Lines and tar

Lines and tar

I'm feeling less than par

Swings and slides

Swings and slides

Up and down like life's tides

Woods and lampposts

Woods and lampposts

I'm starting to turn back into a ghost

Coolness and bare branches

Coolness and bare branches

Trees losing leaves like I'm losing my chances...

The fire is lit

The fire is lit

And I can't help it

A Crack In My Self Loathing

I accidentally just fell in love with myself

It was a crack in my self loathing that will soon be mended

It was the messy hair

That was still messy despite the ponytail

Despite my favorite hat containing it

It was my blue eyes

Looking at me

In my baggy hand-me-down shirt

That makes me feel

Comfortable

It was knowing that I had clay all over me

A mess

But that's exactly what I am

And I know its a flaw

But sometimes

It's the one style I know how to rock

Part mess and part artist

I wasn't trying to love myself in this moment

It just happened

When I looked in the mirror

Because I was about to brush my teeth for the night

I’m The Biggest Idiot

I'm that person who is the example not to follow

The laughable example

I'm the accidental class clown

I'm the person with the homework

That no one copies because I'm full of wrong answers

I'm the one that keeps doctors puzzled without trying

I'm the one who dares to touch the sky

Only to fall all the way back down

I hit the ground

And still live

Why?

I'm the one that can’t tell if that’s good luck or bad

I'm the one who doesn’t study

And then gets confused about the F

I'm the one bus drivers honk at

I'm the one people swear at

I'm the one that is openly clueless

I'm the one with backwards underwear

I'm the one who doesn’t know how to properly sit

In other words, I’m the biggest idiot

The Cliff Hanger

I’m hanging on like a cliff hanger

Just hanging on and just hoping against odds

But you learn to pull yourself up and at least sit on the branch

But it sways in the wind

So you hang on and try your best not to fall

If you do it’s all over

No second chances

No forgiveness for trying so hard

So hard not to just jump

It’s getting tempting

It seems easier just ending it

But you just keep fighting

That’s all you've ever done

You think it will just end anyway

You might slip

Your hands are getting extremely tired and sweaty

But you’re used to it

You teach yourself how to walk on the small branch

You start to trust it

You shouldn't though

But it’s all you've got

You just want to be saved

But you know that’s highly unlikely

You lose hope

You want to climb the cliff

It’s straight up

Or straight down if you fall

One way trip

Will you make it?

You try to grab the side of the cliff

It falls out of your hand as debris

And dust because you have been there for so long…

And yet longer…

No help!

You start screaming

All you hear are your echo’s

You know it’s no use to hold on anymore

You jump

You feel so free

You like the feeling of flying

Your stomach in your throat

You haven’t done anything like this in at least a year

You see the bottom getting closer

You can’t wait for it to end…

Ends Are Beginnings

Ends are sometimes beginnings I need to get myself out of here Ends are the reflections of beginnings, it’s a simple mirror Is everything the same? Dead in the hall of lame Right now you and I are in between the beginning and the middle My bones are snapping, crackling and are brittle I need to know, what’s on the other side? For now I’ll let it slide Slide down my back, off my feet What is complete? Is it fullness of the heart? Or a lucky throw of the dart This reflection is not me, I’m lost But life is still well worth it’s cost So here I go and venture into the middle Me myself and I; piano, guitar and fiddle My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate, music playing objects, infectious like the flu Just a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate music playing objects infectious like the flu Then on some days I find myself in between the middle and the end At writing I’m not that great, not to offend But life is still well worth it’s cost This reflection is not me, I’m lost I need a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? What is complete? Slide down my back, off my feet For now I’ll let it slide I need to know, what’s on the other side? Then I find myself in the end Things don’t always break sometimes they bend Dead in the hall of lame Is everything the same? Beginnings are the reflections of ends, it’s a simple mirror I need to get myself out of here Beginnings are sometimes ends

The Ice Is Breaking

The ice is breaking

Time is something that I’d rather be stealing than be taking

I need to run but I'm frozen

The ice has chosen

The ice shall win I shall lose

Out of this dilemma I want to cruise

That's what those boots were for!

Why didn't I ask about them before I went out the door?

My feet hurt

Underneath my feet I long to feel the dirt

Stuck

I should have listened to the ugly duck

Who else would be out on this lake?

I'm going to die in white snowflakes

I just have to survive tonight

Never would have imagined this plight

I don't have much of a choice

No one’s around to hear my voice

At least I have my phone

I'm bitter and cold to the bone

I would text her but it’s just too far

The WiFi wont reach her star

I hear the ice cracking

Senselessly the cold is smacking

Inside I'm freaking out

The ice will hold me I doubt

I don't feel good I think as I cough

This lake I want off

I need someone

Who's strong and young

I fall and I now want the numb ice off my back

It seems like the ice likes to attack

I start to feel tired from fighting

A way, I see the stars lighting

I start to feel warm

I suddenly want to stay awake, I’m just torn

Soon I’ll pay the price

That ice didn't need to roll that dice

Splash

No ash