Ends Are Beginnings

When I’m Happy

When I'm happy

Happiness won’t seem like a foreign word

And there will be tons of space

To run free at a great pace

I won’t feel like I'm constantly getting criticized

For just being me

No longer shall my work,

Be torn up by jerks

I won’t feel snappy

And the lines won’t be blurred

I won’t feel condemned to hide myself behind them

As a flower never give away your stem

There will be boundaries

Because people don’t think I deserve them

Because I'm not of age

And never will be because I'm just baby sage

I stopped dreaming

When I got tired of society feeding on my dreams

And twisting them into something I didn’t want

So I just played off nonchalant

But maybe one day

I’ll find myself…

Petting a german shepherd

While listening to Def Leppard deafeningly loud

And fall asleep with a tired smile

One that I wore all day

I’ll be able to get lost in a dream

And come up with even crazier schemes

Frozen

Even though I gave you the secret key

To me

I can still very easily lock you out

Don't you doubt

You have the key but I can change the lock

Then all you would be able to do is walk

Away

Dismay

No one will be able to get in

I'll grin

Every time you fail to get in

I will win

I won't let you see

Me

I'll slam the door

And you'll be crying on the floor

If you declare war

I know how to make a bulletproof door

You won't be able to bribe me out

So you shout

Nothing is getting out or in

No mocking jay pin

Once I'm inside that locked door

I'll soar

I'll run as fast as I can

To where the land

Ends

But that depends

I must keep my storms

Inside more

Maybe that's why people leave

My storm puts them inside a blizzard, I believe

“Conceal don't feel”

That's what I've always done, it's real

The cold of the storm never bothered me anyway

I'll make all the fakes pay

"Let it go"

No!

The door is closed

I'll be completely enclosed

You can't save me

If I don't want to be

Start New

There comes a time when you should knock the walls down

And start new, just in a reckless attempt to lose the frown

I can’t let go of the unhappy pictures on the wall

I had no choice but to slouch as everyone stood tall

Gravity loves me too much

I can’t let go of the addiction of your love

If only you didn’t have to be beyond and above

You gave me such a hope that will only lead me to failure

I need to just knock it down but I'm not ready

But living with rotting moldy wood could be deadly

There comes a time when you can’t keep replacing the beams

Of your self esteem

Don't Ever

Too good to be true

In the back of my head I knew

Do you really have a freshman crush?

You're still keeping hush

You're a chicken

You're heart is too alive and kick’n

You fall in love to easy

In my world it’s cold and breezy

You loved me

Please

Just tell me how come you don’t want me anymore?

I thought you wouldn't walk out the door

I see how you're just going to leave me like this

Without my first kiss

I was so ready

I won’t believe you if you ever ask me to go steady

Don’t you even dream about coming back!

Intelligence is what you lack

You're kissing a golden one goodbye!

I can’t wait for you to move in four months, I'm not going to lie

Broke my heart without even touching it

You need to teach yours how to heel and sit

I remember when I was still…

I was chewing the idea of you and I over and over like a sweet jolly rancher in my mouth

You're such a hot head you have to move south

Why don’t you just tell me?

Don’t break me slowly while you get to flee

That rumor I heard

It hurt, I now see you as a wimpy little turd

Do you want to change that?

Or are you just going to keep on hiding under your uninterested mat?

The weather is angry

I'm all strangely

Come near me at your own risk

Permanently scratched your video game disk

Oh I can be bitch!

I'm that annoying out of your league back itch

So you don’t want to love this blue eyed mess?

Boy, I'll make you confess

Straight to my face

I'll beat you at the end of the race

You'll want be back after

When that happens I'll be the one making all of the laughter

Save Me?

Why must time stand still?

The longer I wait here the more it kills

Come on

Just because I’m no longer your student, are you gone?

You have to still care

Before I sent it, I told myself to beware

My hopes have shattered

Heart tattered

Why do I never learn?

I guess It’s still not my turn

When will I be saved?

My roads are never freshly paved

Don’t you dare leave me hanging

By a thread I’m already dangling

My head is a complete mess

I don’t know how I’ll ever confess

Sometimes I think that life is a game

How much can I hold in until I go insane?

What you don’t know

Just promise not to go

But I don’t trust

This is a must

Are you still here reading?

Well I’m still sitting here bleeding

If you thought I was strong

You were wrong

I used to be

But along the way I lost me

I don’t know who I am

I don’t know how to get my old self back, damn!

I used to hate writing

But now I write lots of poems while lip biting

I don’t even know if I miss my old self

My high hopes I will put back on a shelf

That way they won’t shatter

Does it even matter?

Colitis

Proctitis

Don’t be a buttcrack

And just write back

I just can’t take it anymore

I’m running for the door

I just can not

Ever since I was little I’ve been through a lot

All I do is fight

But I now have no more might

A fight that will last a lifetime

I’ve given up on the climb

A fight that I’ll never win

Complication after complication that’s all it’s ever been

I’m just really tired of it all

Just exhausted of being fate’s rag doll

I can’t keep everything in, everyday closer to exploding

Me you’ll never be able to decode

Why must time stand still?

The longer I wait here the more it kills

You're On My Mind

I can’t sleep with the thought of you on weighing on my mind

I want to fast forward, you want to rewind

I hate how you were so kind

I want to see how this works out

You're too heavy and I'm not strong

My mind isn't where you belong

It just feels so wrong

I'm too scared to move you to my heart

It’s 6:28

I'm wishing you were at my gate

Most people consider this early but for me it’s late

I haven’t slept at all

Before I snuck out for some cold water

At skateboarding you almost taught her

When she falls, you better catch her

High school loves very infrequently last

Every night you keep me up

Never asking, “supp?”

No more cold water in the cup

I don’t look up to you

I'm not terribly trusting of this

You are something I don’t like to miss

Cold water gone, this love seems slightly amiss

The dog is barking, roosters crowing

I want sleep

I want my internet creep

But thoughts of you, I still keep

Will you love me?

I Don’t Know If This Is True Love Anymore

I can hear your heart, hear your heart

And I can tell that it b-beat for me, b-beats for me

I can feel you heart

Trying to leap into my chest

I hate to say it but,

I'm head over heels in love with you

You clear away the blues

I'm sorry I make you lose

I’ll try to keep my cool

You're not a complete fool

I hate to say it but,

I'm head over heels in love with you

You're being clingy again, clingy again

And you tell me that you're sorry, you're sorry

But I don’t want to hang on unnaturally tight

So I don’t know how long that,

I’ll hate to say it but…

Some puzzle pieces don’t fit together, don’t fit together

Some hands, when put together become sore, become sore

I remember the way I felt, during intermission

And I don’t know if this is true love anymore, anymore

I’m Done!

I no longer hope youwould just text me

Have you known the whole time that all of this was to happen?

Fallen out of love is exactly what I have done

Out of the k-i-s-s-i-n-g tree I have run

Of course in the back of my head I knew

Love, I do not miss you

With this relationship, I'm done!

You knew, didn't you?

But I was naive enough to let myself fall

I don’t have a hard time when I see you in the hall

Still, I can’t believe that I got over you

Hope is how I know I can do

You'd better not stay with her or,

Text her and tell her that you love her

Me without you is like a bladder without piss

Like it or not, it doesn't get better than this

You were such a bad boy

Did you never realize that I wasn't just a toy?

With this poem

Alex won't be upset

Your Love

I can sometimes feel your love

Like a massage that's over

Even though you're not around

I feel it and it's what I think I need

Your love is like the warmth of the sun

You're not near me

But I can feel your warmth

On my skin

Your love is like my moon

Far away

Yet I can see your light

In my dark

Your love is like a song

That has already been played

But still buzzing

Around my head

Your love feels like

A glowing aura on my skin

That protects me

From life’s miseries

Your love almost feels like

You are keeping watch and looking out for me

And I sometimes think

That I see you out of the corner of my eye

But maybe that is all just wishful thinking

Because I miss you

And your love

That felt so good and right

The Nights Drag On

The days drag on

They slip through my fingers

And dive under my legs

Running on that dang treadmill

Wake up and run

Repeat

A trillion tons of pressure

No thoughts

Halls that stretch on forever

Junior problems

Became senior ones

Goodness making me want to puke

Coldness

Eating away at my hollow bones

I feel like I’m the only hydrated piece of sand in the desert

The only dry fish in the sea

Someday I’ll get speared

Not spared

A book thrown down stairs

Forgetting sunrises

And not regretting it

Invisible issues are the atoms that make me up

Holding in and holding on and exploding

Walls are shaking with,

The darkness of given up days

(That’s all of them)

I don’t sleep because I can breathe at night

The nights drag on…