SOS

Not Again

Lost in forever To ever stop loving me you'd say never Then your forever's turned into never's Your endeavors turned into feathers Feathers that floated away When you used to say that you'd stay My smiles went away for miles While I'll burn my files, Of every second I spent thinking about you And every time you stayed for set after school I'll go back to my rules for fools I won't sit in my pity pools of tools People don’t realize that you're spoiled Even though this relationship you burnt and boiled Hun, you have someone who you can go to while you run I'm stuck here without the fun; I don't have anyone to protect me from my own gun The gun you didn't see, You pointed at me If you ever come back you better pack You don’t have the knack of begging on your knee; if you try to your face I will whack I can’t believe I fell for you twice You didn't catch me and now I'm paying the price She never knew or will be able to comprehend the way I loved you You are discluded from my thought stew; it's time for me to make another brew I find this poem shameful It’s also painful I was clever and never said forever I know that nothing lasts forever, not even love, Especially not your love!

You're My Valentine

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I'm going to unfold a special poem for you

 I should start off by saying, Happy Valentines Day

My best contrast is that your eyes are brown

Any day you can fix my frown

 Just like everyone else’s,

You lips are red

Sometimes I want to kiss them, enough said

 I can’t wait for when we’re older and have money

You hair is black

Someday we shall pack

 Where should we go?, We both ask ourselves

I love your skin so tan

I love my man

 I've got stories to tell,

When were old and gray

I hope you'll stay

What Will Happen?

What will happen when this bird gets out of the cage

Will it sing and fly

Or just sit there and die?

A face full of tears

Yet none of them want to fall

An infant full of years,

Slamming doors

To close off the past

Of the hidden wars

Might as well recreate my kindergarten picture

Of a small person with the world’s tiniest smile

What a mixture

A probable mistake

A theory

Of sour birthday cake

The same will of wanting a way out

Few know what it’s like to be born into the wrong world

I'm an alien trying to find a realistic route

Hands in little fists

Ready to punch a hole in your inflexible plan for me to follow

So many things wrong with that I could make paper flowing lists

I can see my blonde hair back in my face

That I once cut into uneven bangs

Those pictures you try to erase

Like the pictures of my big toothless grin

When I had a badass black eye

My wild heart you can’t win,

With dance recital dresses

This Rockette will not dance anymore

The reason is just as good as your guesses

I'm not your special girl

I'm not anyone’s except my own

And you thinking otherwise makes me want to hurl

What will happen with this girl

When she is free of the nest

Despite her fears and guilty love, will she fly like the rest?

When It Came To Life

When it came to life

They had their tires spinning

But I like to believe I was somehow the one who was winning

When it came to life

They made me feel unwanted in theirs

They are the heirs with the mean stares

I would like to believe

That I’m going to shine brighter

But I’m not the one who owns a lighter

I would like to believe

That I’m the one who is going to get around

But I’m stuck in the background

When it came to life

It seemed like they are naturally smart

I on the other hand, don’t even know where to start

When it came to life

They always managed to get luck and look good

I, on the other hand, look like a girl made of wood

I would like to believe

That someday I will be above all of this

Instead of being traded like baseball cards, I’ll have a person to kiss

I would like to believe

That none of this will matter

And I’ll be on the mound tauntingly saying, swing batter batter swing batter batter

When it came to life

They gave no real shits about my existence

And yet I kept with my foolish persistence

When it came to life

They had their own group

And I wasn't really part of the loop

Autumn Falls

I'm blowing warmth into my hands, As autumn falls like the leaves belonging to it The wind has regained its chipperness My booted feet begin to get clumsy People who say you should keep your head, Up; don’t know what they are talking about There are some bad roots you have to look down for Unless you want to get knocked down again The leaves changed fast this year Some are already brown, dry and ready to be decomposed Where’s your warm hand I thought I was holding? Where did I lose my big coat? Were you on the ship I purposely deserted and sank? Good! That’s what I wanted, At the time Now I'm lost with my flannel shirt and my snaky soul My cold nose and my mittens that no longer fit Well, decisions will get you someplace in the woods My best days are long behind and far ahead At least I can’t see my breath yet I have to find my clearing on my own That will be tough but I got myself here, I have to get myself back out Autumn you will not make me fall!

The Cliff Hanger

I’m hanging on like a cliff hanger

Just hanging on and just hoping against odds

But you learn to pull yourself up and at least sit on the branch

But it sways in the wind

So you hang on and try your best not to fall

If you do it’s all over

No second chances

No forgiveness for trying so hard

So hard not to just jump

It’s getting tempting

It seems easier just ending it

But you just keep fighting

That’s all you've ever done

You think it will just end anyway

You might slip

Your hands are getting extremely tired and sweaty

But you’re used to it

You teach yourself how to walk on the small branch

You start to trust it

You shouldn't though

But it’s all you've got

You just want to be saved

But you know that’s highly unlikely

You lose hope

You want to climb the cliff

It’s straight up

Or straight down if you fall

One way trip

Will you make it?

You try to grab the side of the cliff

It falls out of your hand as debris

And dust because you have been there for so long…

And yet longer…

No help!

You start screaming

All you hear are your echo’s

You know it’s no use to hold on anymore

You jump

You feel so free

You like the feeling of flying

Your stomach in your throat

You haven’t done anything like this in at least a year

You see the bottom getting closer

You can’t wait for it to end…

What Happened?

What happened to us?

What's with all the fuss?

How do you not know why you texted her?

My friend said that it wouldn’t be a good idea to get back with you; I concur

I'm afraid to call you an oaf

Since you still have my loaf

I don’t want to call you a nitwit

Even if that word perfectly fits

I don’t want to call you what you still are

To me what you are seems so far

I don’t want to say

You never really loved me all those days

We had, I had plenty of good thoughts

For you, I unfortunately had the wrong timed hots

No matter how badly you want to get back with me

Well now you'll get to feel how I did when I disagreed

It wasn’t a smart thing to do

This love was true

You literally ruined it for your good

You loved her, I understood

Now without you distracting me

I can get a good degree

You now are going to end up all alone

Even if you try to phone

I'm not going back to my heartbreaker

You were my heart taker

You better never say that I never loved

Last time I believed you when you sent your doves

This break up doesn’t really hurt

It will though, just wait for her dirt!

Fuck It

Never can seem to get it right

I'm giving up on the fight

Fuck it

I’ll just live a poverty stricken life

I'm done with keeping up and steady

I'm not quite ready,

To just fuck it

And live a poverty stricken life

Still falling into the same rhyme,

When life gets frustrating and hard every friggin time

So fuck it

I’ll survive my poverty stricken life

I don’t like having things shoved down my throat

But I never opted for a different route so I’ll have to swim the moat

So fuck it

It’s almost too late to avoid a poverty stricken life

I’ll be rich on alcohol

And famous in my new home, the mall

Fuck this

I don’t want that drunk life

I won’t have to do math,

To know that I'm on a poor path

Fuck everything

I’ll have to survive my poverty stricken life

Get away, get away from me

Because you can stop me from sailing at sea

And sinking into fucking everyone like a real pirate

I’ll have a poverty stricken life with a good view

I’ll ignore all the bottles filled with lost hopes and dreams

Instead I’ll collect them in reams

Because fuck it

I’ll need a way to pass time in my pirate life A life without morals or a plan

I might be able to cheat my way out and find a clan,

Of others who decided to fuck it

And ended up living the poor life, in which everyone thinks you're an idiot

But I didn’t like their ways

And I was too stubborn to get through the tough days

Fuck it

I'm already living the poor life

Catch 22

I'm tired of this shell

And this name

And the world spinning

The problem is that I need to shatter myself

And it just seems impossible

Like an equation that I can’t figure out without being unstoppable

Problem is, the issues grow longer like this infestation of words

If only I knew the answer to the question of why?

Then I would have just another key,

That would lead to another empty chest

Because there’s none for me, nope not a pair

Except for emptiness like two pits of despair

Can’t you feel through your metallic layers?

I don’t like wannabe robots

Even if all you’ve done is make a helmet out of a kitchen strainer

Bee hives don’t dance for nothing, honey!

And I'm buzzing with kinetic energy,

With nowhere to go but this shell

Solved are not my problems,

Of being fucking stuck

Either way I'm seen as an evil little fucker

Stuck like cling wrap to this plastic world

Seemingly unavoidable in every imaginable possibility that I can think,

With my eyes held wide open I can’t even blink

In this torturous place I can’t live forever

Even if I can call it my own

Even if it’s here forever

My need to have this shell shattered is strong

I want to feel it shake and shatter

Hear it crack down like pitter, patter, smash

Shell, hell, what's the difference?

I like the fire in the devil that melts my cold heart

Because I'm tired of this invisible prison cell

Your Love

I can sometimes feel your love

Like a massage that's over

Even though you're not around

I feel it and it's what I think I need

Your love is like the warmth of the sun

You're not near me

But I can feel your warmth

On my skin

Your love is like my moon

Far away

Yet I can see your light

In my dark

Your love is like a song

That has already been played

But still buzzing

Around my head

Your love feels like

A glowing aura on my skin

That protects me

From life’s miseries

Your love almost feels like

You are keeping watch and looking out for me

And I sometimes think

That I see you out of the corner of my eye

But maybe that is all just wishful thinking

Because I miss you

And your love

That felt so good and right