A New Start

Mistreated Millennials

What’s the point of living if I can’t be myself?

I'll be homeless and unhappy

And destructive

You'll continue to be sappy

You'll continue living your life complaining about everything

While I’ll keep my mouth shut because according to you, my problems don’t matter

Baby boomers being controlling yet again

Thinking I owe you when you made me into this bitter, broke, batter

I'm a millennial who lost hope

I'm seen as spoiled and lazy because I see that there’s no use

All I ask is that you don’t take the last thing I have to my ugly name

You get away with it and I'm so tired of the emotional abuse

I need to get old quick

So that I can take control of my life, my world, my planet, my states

I want to take care of this planet and make life better for future generations

You only cared about you; you’re going to go through Hell’s gates

I'm not going to have kids

Well at least not when you’re alive

You are more offensive than a confederate flag or a swastika

If you set eyes upon your gorgeous grandchildren they could break out in hives

I don’t want my offspring to have to see this society you’ve created

A world of tests and pressure

Setting us up against our own generation, giving us trust issues

I can’t wait for you to become extinct for a refresher

You won’t be able to barge in

Testing us to see just how much we can endure before we break at the bones

And when we break, you leave us alone to suffer with the deformities

When you hear our groans,

You convince yourself that we don’t have any problems that are worse,

Than yours

The millennial generation work themselves into insanity

While you insult us, pampered, careless, narcissistic, your words contaminate our pours

We are forced to wear those insults

We wear them like expensive designer clothes,

Because we don’t have any money

Baby boomers look for special millennials to overexpose

Sort Of Straightforward

Don’t feel

Don’t show just so you can eat at least one more free meal

In your case

I must keep a strong unmoving poker face

You think that it’s rude for me not to answer

Tell me to get depressed for someone because of their lung cancer

Instead I think they need some cheer

And encouragement for them to face their fears

I don’t tell you how I feel

Because you would tell me it’s not normal and what I'm feeling is unreal

That I made it all up in my head

I'm crazy is what your body language said

When I do answer you, you tell me to stop talking back

And tell me that manners are what I sadly lack

You tell me you don’t like my tone

I would never tell you how much I want to puke at the smell of your cologne

Maybe my tone is bad but it’s not as bad as your writing font

You like to remind me that the troubles I have ahead of me are something to daunt

If I admit that something hurts then I get called a baby

You’d think that I was too much of a wuss to join the navy

Tell me I'm tough but act like I'm the weakest of the weak

I'm not brave enough to find help to seek

“No one’s going to get hurt here”

I could!  You would tell certain people is my fear

I wouldn’t trust you even If you promised, you could so very easily go behind my back

Oldness is what I lack

When you ever did know how I felt

You’d lecture me on how stupid I am for feeling it, then hit me hard with an imaginary belt

Because of that I would prefer to keep you in the dark

I might not be able to live through another mark

I just can’t have you know

If you ever found out, I’ll get buried in icy sharp, wet snow

But no matter how numb I am, I still feel

All my feelings are strong and real!

Holiday Swirl

I’m so horrible, bad luck doesn’t want a part of me

The crows fly away with the sight of me,

Inscribed in their retinas

I have my own invisible scarlet letter

“S” is the letter

My name…

Blades of grass spear through my shadow

So long ago that girl of a shadow

My 5 o'clock shadow of words

Maybe my writing phase is over

I can’t wake up from a dream when it’s already over

Maybe my blue pen is done kissing the paper

If you were the paper and I was the pen, you’d think I was trying to murder you

I don’t know me, without you

Sometimes I miss my ink

I’m scared my drugs are going to be discontinued

I’m scared my happiness has been discontinued

I used it all up in attempt to hang onto it

Flowers blossoming beautifully to their death

Everything living to its death

Birds singing the song the reaper himself wrote

Words tattooed to my face,

My award losing poker face

Why can’t you see the sadness in my bright eyes?

My depression is the light

Everyone’s happiness is the light

People keep dragging me there

They think they’re helping

Don’t ask me what is helping

Always asking the awful reverse

They think they know what’s best

No one knows best

No not even me

If only they would listen-

And yet, too intently is not how to listen

They never do

Cold

I'm so cold

I won't be able to sleep tight

I'm not done with this fight

I'm so clammy cold

I need time

And for that person who has a crush

I can't make a decision my brain is mush

If only I had time

I need something in my side

I was just a silly goose

But then all hell broke loose

Someone to help guide

Too stressed

I can't think

Staring at the wall I refuse to blink

I can't function my best

A cure for the cold would be a warm hug

But not for this grinning little punk

A hug would not fix a heart that has already sunk

Too late, too bad you're a slug

How can someone help me?

They can't, my problems of empty love are ungratefully big

I'll tell you everything when there are flying, majestic pigs

Through me, it feels like you can see

I'm stuck

And you can't do much

For you can't touch

I'm afraid you seriously can't help,yuck!

I'll live my life cold

At least I get to live

The downside is I'll have nothing to give

Nothing lasts not even a heart of gold

Summer

Summer will not make me dumber

With no stress, I'm more depressed

Biased people with remainders of my past, in my brain it will never last

I can't breath; It's debilitating but I'm not suffocating

Give me a car and I'll take it far

Wishing things were different, kissing your black shoe

Waiting for that day, knowing you'll be hesitating

Waking up without a mission, then going fish'n

Feeling like you're not going to get there, life is only so fair

Dreamers with their silly fantasy dreams, fighting for them but not getting ice creams

They became depressed, while they were back in their nest

They stopped fighting, and tried rewriting

Their progress plateaued, and started the downhill flow

Then out of nowhere their flame relit, and found the way out of the pit

They wrote of sugar coated endings, to deal with the god sendings

Of summer never being a bummer

Similar All The Same

I'm a little punk

A little rebel

I used to be the opposite

But similar all the same

Then I fell in love with something I can't have and my heart sunk

My heart is a devil

The burn causing flame in my brain got lit

The beast of my heart I couldn't tame I used to feel guilt like hell

It had complete control over me

Therefore I had nothing hidden

Dealing with the devil, my guilt was a good idea to sell

I broke free

I became guilty ridden The free rain ran over me and cleaned my obedience away

I broke them damn chains!

I began to hide during the day

Some of my fears I told to go fuck themselves, went down the drain So now I'm everything that screams courage and fearless

Every word that I write helps me to be tearless But I am still similar all the same

Abstract

Can you take my anger? And pass me the settledness? I think I need a coat hanger for my anger To hang it up

I keep my dreams in the closet And my hopes in a drawer When I grow up I can take them out And wear them higher I keep my fears Under the bed They live with the monsters, Who keep my fears from getting misplaced I keep my misery in the basement Where I hope it’ll get lost But I see it every time I do laundry One time I tried to hang it out to dry I keep stupidity in the attic With the light on Often times I have bright ideas I keep passion on the floor It's too much for me to handle, When I keep depression Strung around my fingers Which keeps me from forgetting That I left jealousy Brewing and boiling on the stove A poignant smell that makes I keep happiness On pieces of yellowed paper Which are stuck up on the fridge with magnets The messy drawings of not caring mock me as I pull pity out to eat for a midnight snack

Observing

I sit here observing

Observing other people's lives

Observing my life Observing how the canoe

Hugs the dock

As if it knows it will be dark soon Observing the smell of the pines

And a pontoon boat going by

Observing a kid learning to scuba dive Observing the twilight sky reflected picassoed

On the fairly smooth

Glimmering water Observing a summer romance

Taking place on a tall rock

Observing my sunburnt skin peeling when I get the feeling... Observing how the mood of the water can change

So fast

So shifty The ducks already passed

Knowing this night is my last,

Probably for a while

Of this lake girl style

Sos Is No Longer

I don’t want to be a rock

And I no longer want to be an island

I don’t want to be superman anymore

I also don’t want to be saved

Because it never works out,

When someone else is wearing the cape

I'm the one who rides this roller coaster

That is truly,

Made for only one

I must learn to accept

What I never have

Because I can’t live my life in a false reality

People say that I'm smart

Yet I fail more than the average person

People say that I'm strong

Yet I hurt more than the average person

And for honesty, I write because I'm so sensitive

And I'm tired of climbing mountains With new people

Sos

Is no longer

A silent thing I scream

I want to sink

Into this cold water

And drown in my life

I keep finding myself

Stuck on the same ship,

The ship of Theseus

Seasons

Trees in the winter are skeletons

But now they are beaded with buds

Grass greener than ever

To make up for being dead

Overcompensation

Before burn out

It will all soon happen again

And without knowing it,

I will grow into

Good territory or bad

I may be stuck here but

It’s my choice where my roots go

I will see it through in the weather

And the seasons of weakness