Similar All The Same

Myself

The reason I may look like a party pooper or down

Is because when I used to walk up to people and tell them my name they would give me a frown

They wouldn't say anything so I would walk away

Then I would see them sneaking peaks at me and laughing, but someday...

I would go sit away from them on the concrete wall

Or I would get a basketball

And shoot hoops all by myself

I put my high hopes on a shelf

Sometimes when I would make a hoop someone would run up to me

And kick the ball away, then laugh at my plea

For peace

I was the one who tried hard with elbow grease

But now I just go sit there anyway

To save myself from all the pain

That's why I don't go up to people and tell them my name

I just always ended up ashamed

Ashamed to be me

Whatever I did they laughed at

Someday hopefully they will realize that

They were all the bitches

That should die in ditches

Sorry I just wish I could make them pay

And that still happens to me today

Even in high school

People think making fun of me is “cool”

Why are they so cruel?

I hate going there

Because most people don't care

And they say that there are only raggies in this town

I bet you don’t know that word, go look it up, the word raggie might be a noun

But I actually try and work hard

Even though I get scarred

Every time someone says that

It makes us all sound worse than rats

Whoever says that isn't even trying

They just like to see people crying

I'm shy

Because I don’t want cry

I'm done trying

Society

We don’t realize that we are the forest,

Not a tree

A nest of dripping honey

Not a bee

We don’t realize that we are the ocean

Not a drop

We don’t realize that we are the mountain

Not just the mountain top

We don’t realize that we are a band or an orchestra

Not a single instrument standing out alone

We are a skeletal system

Not a bone

We are a class

Not a single student

A mass

Not volume or weight

We are an entire troop

Not a soldier

The whole soup

Not the noodles

We are society

You are bigger than you think

Yes there is a big human variety,

But without you to fill the small hole, the waters would come flooding in and we would all sink

Metal People

Why aren't the metal people melting in this heat

Why am I still out here? It's because I can smell sand and salt 

And the heat reminds me of summer

Although

I am questioning what in the world am I doing The birds chirping

The traffic

The anxiety It feels like a good day

For the beach and nothing else To get your feet burned in the sand

And the sharp feel of shark water But I'm here on an uncomfortable park bench

Made to look like a place to sit

Made to be uncomfortable So much for the brick and concrete, cars and calc I could have drove home and be arriving there now

But why would I want to be there Have I become one of the metal people

Just here watching the other people I guess not quite yet

Because I can feel the human slowly dripping from the pits

I Want to See You Again

The smell on your shirt, has left

I used to get high off it

If ever, it will be years until the next time I see you

I know you’re not who a lot of people think you are

When is the next time I can capture the bass clef?

Elegant painfully good songs

Not that I’m jealous

No luck

Neglecting my big dream

Knowing, if you work hard you can less wrongs

I’m going to try to up my game

Kangaroo it up

Knotted, and stuck tight

Knocking and banging on my dream's ragged, hard door

Cars so many, with people most of the same

Ought to be different and stand out

Right away I realized that I want it

Ringing in my ears the impact you made on me

Raging sea of bloodsweet, heartful music and people

Unfair richness, born with an endless money spout

Oh why?

Yelling and screaming for another chance

Yak club, I can’t afford the cost to see your face

For I will deny

Clay

Sometimes, if I like you

I'll let you mold a part of me or, thin out my walls

Sometimes, I feel young, energetic and naïve

But sometimes the weather forecast, forecasts colder weather

And I start to feel a little lethargic,

A little tired,

Maybe a little cracked

And trapped in this mold

Sometimes I grow harder, colder and more fragile

And sometimes my eyes seem to have a glazed coating

Because there are some tools out there

However tools don't get under my skin

If anything they get under my nails

I've got ribs and knives

So don't mess with me

Sometimes I'm as closed off as a clam,

With a secret,

Hidden pearl

Obviously I'm pretty imperfect

And I've become tired of finding a reason for

Being bent out of shape and having sharp edges

Edgy is my style

Because this is art

And anything ugly should not be held against the piece

And sometimes I have to let it go

Or just let it slip

Out of the grogginess of my tired head

Even if it leaves a shattered mess on the floor

Destruction is an art too

Like how angry painters have been known to throw paint at canvases

Fire me up

And I hope I won’t explode

With the unspoken air in my lungs

Rachel

Those damn ex’s

Leave your brain perplexed

Walks lightly

Thinks brightly

Favorite color is green

Just like a spleen

Understands your weird, random metaphors

Doesn’t waste her time and energy knocking down unnecessary doors

The grand piano player

Has many layers

Some that I’ll probably never get to see

Gave away her key

Seems pretty sophisticated

Good fated

Always saying that everyone has their own fight

Not afraid to spend the night

Looking out for me

Lets my thoughts be

She’s courageous

She’s contagious

You’ll always want her around

Leaves you thinking new thoughts like why don’t you just push off the ground

What are you hiding under there?

Doesn’t take a stupid dare

Goes beyond

Knows about that dirty mucky messed up pond

Promises you that you can fly

Look at those blue eyes

Deep

Proves the secrets that she keeps

Fell and scraped her knee

Got stung by the swarm of stinging bees

But stood

To show life that she could

So smart

She’s off the chart

So much more to learn

In life there are so many places to turn...

Anxiety

Waiting for the call

Waiting for the call

How will I stall?

How will I stall?

Anxiety

Anxiety

Bolting through my veins

Hydrogen, Helium, Sodium, Boron

I must be made out of morons

I own scratched up pencils

They don't fit extra ordinary stencils

Books and essays

Overwhelmed I say

I own knocking knees

I know who I am, I just can't be

Do and don't

Know that I probably won't

I own a pounding heart

One of my arts

What is history?

It's part of my mystery

Anxiety

Anxiety

How will I stall?

How will I stall?

Waiting for the call

Waiting for the call

You're On My Mind

I can’t sleep with the thought of you on weighing on my mind

I want to fast forward, you want to rewind

I hate how you were so kind

I want to see how this works out

You're too heavy and I'm not strong

My mind isn't where you belong

It just feels so wrong

I'm too scared to move you to my heart

It’s 6:28

I'm wishing you were at my gate

Most people consider this early but for me it’s late

I haven’t slept at all

Before I snuck out for some cold water

At skateboarding you almost taught her

When she falls, you better catch her

High school loves very infrequently last

Every night you keep me up

Never asking, “supp?”

No more cold water in the cup

I don’t look up to you

I'm not terribly trusting of this

You are something I don’t like to miss

Cold water gone, this love seems slightly amiss

The dog is barking, roosters crowing

I want sleep

I want my internet creep

But thoughts of you, I still keep

Will you love me?

Footsteps

Footsteps rattling the house like thunder

Demanding to be felt

Whispers of scraping bare feet

Demanding to be heard

Demanding for my valuable attention

Your distinct smell of deodorant smelled by my denying nose

Your yells for me to come out and play,

Demanding to get under my skin and to my heart

I'm not going to tell you that you are wasting your energy

I hope you will use your energy all up and wither

I have no heart

That's why I'm smart

I've got my back against the wall

But I can feel you banging your fist from the other side

Parading and patrolling the halls

I'm stuck in jail on my bunk

You seem to clomp,

With a pair of clogs

What the hell are you doing?

Demanding attention

And stealing glances

That's nothing new

About you

And your lazy master feet

I’m annoyed as a slave

And you’re running around the house like an aristocrat

You want to be close

And I want to be far,

Because I know I could end up with feathers and tar

You always have to dominate everything

This might be why I’m a control freak

In this house with slammed doors and loud footsteps

“Beautiful things don’t ask for attention”

Here’s To Hoping

Here’s to hoping

               That I’ll know what I'm doing someday

               Or that I can at least find my way

Hoping that I will prove them wrong

               While I keep on singing my song

Hoping that I will become more skilled

               As I sail rough waters becoming stronger willed

Hoping that my story has a happy ever after

               Filled with lots of laughter

Hoping that I’ll never stop dreaming

               About all the stars gleaming

Hoping that I won’t forget

               That it’s okay to be upset

Hoping that I will remember where I came from

               And to just keep on thrumming

Hoping to know that it’s okay to suck

               We all have to start somewhere in the muck

Hoping that people can think what they want

               Even if they are a confidant

Hoping that I’ll stick to what I believe

               Even if it makes some leave

Hoping that I’ll find a way to be,

               Simply nothing less than me