Little Do You Know

Ends Are Beginnings

Ends are sometimes beginnings I need to get myself out of here Ends are the reflections of beginnings, it’s a simple mirror Is everything the same? Dead in the hall of lame Right now you and I are in between the beginning and the middle My bones are snapping, crackling and are brittle I need to know, what’s on the other side? For now I’ll let it slide Slide down my back, off my feet What is complete? Is it fullness of the heart? Or a lucky throw of the dart This reflection is not me, I’m lost But life is still well worth it’s cost So here I go and venture into the middle Me myself and I; piano, guitar and fiddle My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate, music playing objects, infectious like the flu Just a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate music playing objects infectious like the flu Then on some days I find myself in between the middle and the end At writing I’m not that great, not to offend But life is still well worth it’s cost This reflection is not me, I’m lost I need a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? What is complete? Slide down my back, off my feet For now I’ll let it slide I need to know, what’s on the other side? Then I find myself in the end Things don’t always break sometimes they bend Dead in the hall of lame Is everything the same? Beginnings are the reflections of ends, it’s a simple mirror I need to get myself out of here Beginnings are sometimes ends

No Control

No control

So lay me down to rest

I'm done trying my best

IBD is a troll

My head is a now a mess

It wants you to get depressed

So I fill myself with happiness

I can’t let it win

So instead I grin

It makes you feel loneliness

Put on your mockingjay pin

Life’s not so bad, lift up your chin

Pick up your head

You try to ignore the anger

Pain and I are no stranger

Or lie back down to bed

Be a tanker

Keep going, even if you have to be a faker

Come on

Don’t let it

Get to you bit by bit

Stop singing that sad song

Don’t throw that fit

You have grit

Knocked me down

IBD

Is a bully, he pushed me

All the way to the dirty, cold, hard, ground

And I scraped my knee

But I still try to fill myself with glee

Dear, IBD get lost!

Take a hike!

It’s the third strike

You aren’t the boss

You, nobody likes

You can’t catch me on my bike

I fell

There comes a point

Where you want to roll a joint

You stupid spell

The why bother going on point

I don’t care anymore, even if it can affect your joints

Frustrating

Every time I get back on my feet

I get hit hard on the concrete

IBD hating

After everything finally becomes neat

I get hit when I try to cross the street

This has been going on for awhile

Will it ever end?

Well that depends

Always wanting to be normal, everything in a messed up pile

I don’t want to be your friend

Again

For the world I wouldn’t miss

Could you offer me your hand?

To help me stand

I've got this

I can

As long as you can understand

A New Start

I feel the warmth

Of the light at the end of the tunnel

I think this is the last

Of the darkness

Well at least for a while

So here's to a new start

Here's to a change

That will make my future self scream,

Plot twist!

Plot twist!

One so well written by the insanity of reality

That it catches god by surprise

A castle of freshly grown hope

A castle that I built out of the crap in my life

A new life of being alone

I must learn to stretch my wings once in a while

I must learn to stop

Beating myself up

I think

That i should be brave enough

To be me

Which is a simple task for some

I think that this is the last

Of the darkness for now

Precipitation On The Precipice

Precipitation on the precipice

Perpetually with presumable paranoia

Along with possible poems that have no periods

Because life might very well be never ending

Pause...

Delete the delirium of the demons

Don't deteriorate with your destruction

Do what you want during the debriefing but don't drown in the debris

Try not to go that far

Drat

All they asked for was some alliteration

While they surrounded you with alligators in the ally

But I am writing an album of aluminum with alliances that allay

Not every allegation is right

Allure

Currently concentrating

On the cause of the catastrophe

Two cracks colliding without collecting credit

Learn that, that is simply life

Creating

I'm a nitpicky nitwit

Nincompoop that knits knots

In the neon lights of New York, I nervously take notes on networks of gnats

I will stop with the,

I will not’s because I have too many to keep 

Inside

The past is the past

It may not have been the best

Let’s just leave it at that

But soon I'll be free from this wrecked nest

Right now it's not fun

It's those memories

I should hurry up, get over it and be done

Families that feel like enemies

The stares that pierce through you

They judge

But they don't have a clue

Their stubborn heads won't budge

I now look forward, so don't make me look back

I will be better someday

I won the treasure by slapping the jack

I didn't mean it like that way

No one to trust

No one to hold and clutch

Heat full of tumble weeds and dust

Not even a love touch

I was invisible

They didn't care

But anything is live-able

So I built my own lair

They didn't pay attention either

Suck it up and deal

Never got a breather

No one cares how I really feel

Say that you love me then break me like a china plate

Why did you make me sit on a towel?

Well now you're too late

Never had good bowels

Always felt out of place

I'm sorry but some things can't be forgiven

After things happened I don't feel safe

But I'm going to keep on live'n

Always felt different and weird

In a bad way

I tried to make all of it disappear

Nobody I wanted ever stayed

Tears roll'n down my cheek

They hit the floor like glass

The feelings that are deep down are antique

It can happen that fast

I've learned how to turn myself into a rock

Always picking up my own head

It causes me to have writers block

While people eat the meat, I don't whine and take the bread

No one cared if my head drooped down

I was forced to walk alone

They ignored me when one my face there was a frown

That's when my heart turned to stone

Rachel

Those damn ex’s

Leave your brain perplexed

Walks lightly

Thinks brightly

Favorite color is green

Just like a spleen

Understands your weird, random metaphors

Doesn’t waste her time and energy knocking down unnecessary doors

The grand piano player

Has many layers

Some that I’ll probably never get to see

Gave away her key

Seems pretty sophisticated

Good fated

Always saying that everyone has their own fight

Not afraid to spend the night

Looking out for me

Lets my thoughts be

She’s courageous

She’s contagious

You’ll always want her around

Leaves you thinking new thoughts like why don’t you just push off the ground

What are you hiding under there?

Doesn’t take a stupid dare

Goes beyond

Knows about that dirty mucky messed up pond

Promises you that you can fly

Look at those blue eyes

Deep

Proves the secrets that she keeps

Fell and scraped her knee

Got stung by the swarm of stinging bees

But stood

To show life that she could

So smart

She’s off the chart

So much more to learn

In life there are so many places to turn...

End Of A Line

When you come to the end of a line

I suggest you walk it carefully

Walk it as fearfully as you would a plank of a ship

It’s like an edge of a cliff

Walk to the edge of the unknown and take a leap

There could be words at the bottom to catch you

Let the words draw the line there

Or let the words take you out on a tightrope

In the end it just comes down to the wire

Are you daring enough to cross the line?

Sleeping With My Thoughts

I’d rather stay up at 2 in the morning

With my thoughts

Rather than sleeping with them

I'm not that intimate with my thoughts

They do not belong

In my bed

In my sheets

In my being

But alas I'm too sensitive

And weak

They are aggressive

And addictive like the warmth of alcohol

Exhaustion tries to seduce me

But I refuse

I know I cannot hold them off forever with the cane

Until they all break free

To slowly and comfortably lull me

Into my nightmares

To wake up in a sweat all hot and bothered

Shaking and shaking

Send It

I disappeared for awhile

So if you don’t recognize my name that’s why

Coming and going is sort of my style

(sigh)

If you can’t remember me you once called me deep

I’m basically your mini me, who refuses to go down without a fight

Aka internet creep (kidding)

Poetry is what I like to write

All this time I hope you didn’t have a strange hunch

I see another moon

Then there goes another month

I hope I’ll be able to put words on paper to you soon

You probably think that I fell off the face of the earth

I’m not done existing yet!

Two days we both hate but everyone else loves is the date of our birth

I hate pity so, over me don’t fret

I realize that even gut girl,

Doesn’t have real magic

And can’t save me from my world

I’m slowly breaking free of the chains that have had me trapped, full of rage I have had it

On my team

It’s just you and me

That’s not entirely true to this whole befuddling scheme

I’m not the only one with a forever scraped knee

Will I write back to you before I get old and grey?

For some reason I’m scared

Then before I know it there goes another day

Should I even care?

Writing I have forgotten how

Where is my “brave” voice?

Maybe you could understand this, Meow!

I’m starting to think that braveness is a crazy choice

I haven’t written to you in so long

Will writing to you be my fate?

Too good to be true, someday I bet you’ll be gone

I remind you of your younger self so at least you can strongly relate

For now I don’t think I’m brave enough

To reach you again

My feelings seem to be in cuffs

But even though I haven’t talked to you, I hope that we’re still good friends

You were my fog horn

While my strength was dwindled

Kept me from getting more torn

No more will I get swindled

You understand the weird problems with anxiety

And all of the faking

Sorry you saw me,

When I was breaking

I don’t like rooms with big unspoken elephants

After all there might be a goodish brain in my head

To win the war of hurtful words I must be more intelligent

Moons ago this is what should have been said!

Was It?

Was it the bread

That got to your head?

Or was it the butter

That made you stutter?

Maybe you think it was the salt

That made it your fault

I know that the berries

Didn't make you marry

But what was your deal

With the oatmeal?

Was the grapefruit too tart?

Maybe it’s why you had to fart

You gave a nickel

For a fried pickle

Maybe the pie

Was the reason that it felt like you were going to die

I mean the honey

Did seem to taste a little funny

Did the steak

Give you a stomach ache?

Was it the chicken soup

That made you have to go poop?

Or was it the icing on the cake

That made your stomach break?