Light Flickering

Here’s To Hoping

Here’s to hoping

               That I’ll know what I'm doing someday

               Or that I can at least find my way

Hoping that I will prove them wrong

               While I keep on singing my song

Hoping that I will become more skilled

               As I sail rough waters becoming stronger willed

Hoping that my story has a happy ever after

               Filled with lots of laughter

Hoping that I’ll never stop dreaming

               About all the stars gleaming

Hoping that I won’t forget

               That it’s okay to be upset

Hoping that I will remember where I came from

               And to just keep on thrumming

Hoping to know that it’s okay to suck

               We all have to start somewhere in the muck

Hoping that people can think what they want

               Even if they are a confidant

Hoping that I’ll stick to what I believe

               Even if it makes some leave

Hoping that I’ll find a way to be,

               Simply nothing less than me

A Night With Friends

I don’t mind where life takes me, as long as,

I can be free and freeze in the dark

Sounds horrible but you wouldn’t understand

That’s because you'd rather it be light, and warm

But the light can leave a bad mark

And the warmth keeps you on land

Flying is more fun

There are many unknown,

Mysteries that hide,

That you can find only when you're on the run

Freezing reminds you that this is probably real

It keeps you there with possible illusion of your friends

My imagination knows that I need to be the teenager I am

The idiot that loves to be goofy and loves to have a good laugh

The kind of laugh that makes you addicted all over again

The one that makes you forget about the study guide you must cram,

Painfully into your head that doesn’t deserve to be broken in half

The kind of laugh that makes you forget about everything that doesn’t matter to the tip of this pen

To laugh so hard that I’ll forget the definition of depression and anxiety and just take flight,

Away from the lies

And freeze my scars and the oncoming wrinkles so they can’t leave a mark

Run to gain some height

To get out of earshot of their cries

And just know that together we are a single spark

It hailed

It was a storm trooper halestorm

I tried to count the raindrops

And failed

Because I can only count to four in correct form

Then we jaywalked in front of the cops

I want to go all night,

With you guys

Go all the way and see the sun come and break the dark

And then go to bed and not have me, myself and I fight

Go to bed content with who I really was today and take to the skies

And fall asleep on the blue side in the park

Light Pollution

Staring at the dark ceiling

I have it memorized

If only the glow in the dark stars were real constellations

I’d know my way around them by now

I’m a night owl; a nocturnal creature dealing

A toilet flushing down the hall

Brings me back to my punishment of being under aged

Being owned by your parents

They call it custody

I call it a prison of musty walls

I'm allergic to the stuffy skeleton of this house

Keeping the keys quiet so I don’t get in trouble

Deep trouble

For something so little

In comparison of the big picture and the hole in my blouse

I need to get away from the light pollution

So I can shine brighter than my cousins

Two stars, and I get compared to them

It’s inevitable because I'm trapped being related

Because I must be part of the salty solution

I must get away from the people asking me why I'm not shining,

While my surface is burning hotter than magma

Waiting to explode

Letting the pressure you put in me develop,

Into diamonds I will wear while going out with a special one dining

Letting some steam off in a perfect sun storm

I'm fast and burn hard

But I wait like a cat about to pounce

You won’t see it coming before you're in a ring of flames

You can’t freeze my flames out, with your heart so cold you still can’t even make the temperature go from hot to warm

The Reason Why I Fell

The reason why I'm about to fall

Is because I once stood tall

Just as quick and graceful as a fawn

You are gone

‘Twas all but a dream

You secretly made me beam

Even though I shuddered

And muttered

You were so patient like the paper I leak ink on

You are gone

Big sister

Now you're a big blister

That I will never fully comprehend

A message I might send

But I know I will slip away like sand

In your pretty young hands

I felt so safe

But now I feel the chafe

We had fun

What's done is done

‘Twas all but a silly nightmare

‘Twas just a tear,

In the page,

Of a script who’s fate was to drift off stage

And that was the reason why I fell

Into this well

At dark dawn

I am gone...

Love Lyrics To A Finite Song

I miss you

But I have to study for midterms

I can't wait for this summer

You love my “burns”

Now I believe that you are true

I want to be with you

I'm in my messy room

It's my lazy Saturday

I need the warm for the fresh fruits to bloom

It feels like a dream that I'm with you

I want to be physically with you

We might not be seeing each other much

You want to party

Your hand, for you, I will touch

I want to hug you

More than cute wound never describe you

Now I am comfortable with you on my mind

We are very similar

I'm letting myself slowly go blind

I'm falling for you

I'm surprised I went back for you

I can smell you on my sweatshirt

You drive me crazy

In our pasts we've both have been hurt

Why am I still writing about you?

My head still decides to never stop thinking about you

Love lyrics to a finite song

Someday all of this might haunt me

I hope this lasts long

Me and you

K-12

All I have learned how to do is study

And memorize

And cram

With a heavy head, how am I expected to take to the skies?

I know nothing about survival

Unless grabbing the newest textbook counts

I know that it doesn’t

I guess they have failed to brainwash me completely

But I do know how to wake up and eat

Then study

Go to sleep

And repeat

Never fully knowing what the outside world is like

Never slipping out of reach

Never learning the things that will actually help me

Always shoving me down

Never letting me wonder what if

Never showing me why

But commanding me this way

And that

That’s for the authority

And the sentence

That I committed no crime for

It was quite unneeded

Trying to get me to conform

By using peer pressure

Then when its useful for you to say the opposite,

You say that we shouldn’t follow others and do as you say

Making me feel so, so little

While telling me to be an adult

Then telling me that I’m not an adult

And when I am one I will never be ready

I can't believe I am finally free

From this tortuous prison

That I used to feel embarrassed to be a part of k-12

But now I am done with k-12

So bye motherfuckers

I ain’t coming back

And I ain’t gonna be looking back

Because most of the faculty, staff, administration, and board members made me feel like shit

Believe it or not

But

School was made for kids

So stop trying to take over and ruin our lives

I Don’t Know If This Is True Love Anymore

I can hear your heart, hear your heart

And I can tell that it b-beat for me, b-beats for me

I can feel you heart

Trying to leap into my chest

I hate to say it but,

I'm head over heels in love with you

You clear away the blues

I'm sorry I make you lose

I’ll try to keep my cool

You're not a complete fool

I hate to say it but,

I'm head over heels in love with you

You're being clingy again, clingy again

And you tell me that you're sorry, you're sorry

But I don’t want to hang on unnaturally tight

So I don’t know how long that,

I’ll hate to say it but…

Some puzzle pieces don’t fit together, don’t fit together

Some hands, when put together become sore, become sore

I remember the way I felt, during intermission

And I don’t know if this is true love anymore, anymore

The Cliff Hanger

I’m hanging on like a cliff hanger

Just hanging on and just hoping against odds

But you learn to pull yourself up and at least sit on the branch

But it sways in the wind

So you hang on and try your best not to fall

If you do it’s all over

No second chances

No forgiveness for trying so hard

So hard not to just jump

It’s getting tempting

It seems easier just ending it

But you just keep fighting

That’s all you've ever done

You think it will just end anyway

You might slip

Your hands are getting extremely tired and sweaty

But you’re used to it

You teach yourself how to walk on the small branch

You start to trust it

You shouldn't though

But it’s all you've got

You just want to be saved

But you know that’s highly unlikely

You lose hope

You want to climb the cliff

It’s straight up

Or straight down if you fall

One way trip

Will you make it?

You try to grab the side of the cliff

It falls out of your hand as debris

And dust because you have been there for so long…

And yet longer…

No help!

You start screaming

All you hear are your echo’s

You know it’s no use to hold on anymore

You jump

You feel so free

You like the feeling of flying

Your stomach in your throat

You haven’t done anything like this in at least a year

You see the bottom getting closer

You can’t wait for it to end…

Dear, Dear Doctor

Dear, dear doctor,

Do you have anything for a broken heart?

Dear, dear doctor,

It feels like I'm being torn apart Dear, dear doctor,

It's not thumping but it still hurts

Dear dear doctor,

To a different person can you make me convert? I've never been hurt this way before

How dare he walk out the door?

I'm done!

It was never really any fun

Dear, dear doctor,

Keep him away

Dear, dear doctor,

In solitary confinement is where he should stay Dear, dear doctor,

Can you cut off a limb?

Dear, dear doctor,

How do I get my mind off of him?

Thought Soup

Honey don’t listen to them all

Don’t let yourself fall

Just keep doing what you were doing

The dream of life keep on pursuing

Don’t fucking stop

Pull out of that garbage smelling parking lot

Don’t let go

Keep moving even if it is slow

I know you sweetheart, you always make it

Keep that fire inside of you lit

Don’t let it go out

Cry your heart into a drought

Come on, love pull yourself out, now more than ever

You are definitely clever

Run you clever girl

Stop believing that you aren't a pearl

Just keep on your feet

Let the future uncurl, I promise it will end up feeling complete

Don’t ever let them force you to sit

One thing about you that amazes me is that you always make it

I know that this isn't what you think, I know it all seems like a mess

But you'll make it don’t think any less

You, have no clue

How much I believe in you

You will find a reason for that pain

Sorry I won’t explain

It will be a great surprise

You have the ability to see through lies

That perfectly terrible loop

Your brain right now is, thought soup

Just another bump in the road

You can take the heavy load

I am the future yet at the same time the past

That desert of the darkness is very vast

But "the best way out is always through"

So for now just make do