We Have Each Other

Light Flickering

Light flickering

Reminds me of where I live

It’s annoying

But that’s just how it is

It makes it feel like more of a horror movie

And I know that there are monsters under the bed

I consider it camping

Yet it’s just life

It will carry on even if I can’t see the stars,

Swirling in time

Above my head,

A universe that I cannot touch

My mind

Is a strobe light

And I feel a bit dizzy

It’s a bit too much to take in, again

My heart is light with carbon dioxide

The candle a flickerin within

And I'm scared that

I can smell the smoke of the future

Writer's Block :(

That moment when you can't get the pencil to write

When the paper bites

Writer's block

Is worse than getting stuck with your brother's smelly sock

Too many thoughts on my mind

I need to write so I'll know I'll be just fine

Into a ball I want to curl

I need to stop hiding from the world

The moment you are so numb that nothing helps, not even music

I know I have the power but I'm afraid to use it

It would just cause me trouble

Make my world as I know it crumble

You start to think

At writing you stink

You don't want to write it all

Can't risk another fall

You are plain 'ol stuck

Wishes on shooting stars for better luck

What you don't realize is that it's all there

You need to take the dare

Too many thoughts yet at the same time I have an empty head

So for now I'm off to bed

Too Much

This is the story of my life

I get too much love

Too much

And I’m just not built to hold it

Perhaps I was built for the low life

But sometimes I get too many punches

Too many

And I’m just not built to hold your knuckle sandwich

I’m starting to think I wasn’t made for loving you

I’m too full of hate and anger

Too full

And I’m just about to take it out on you

Because you have too much love

You’re too clingy

Too clingy

I’m not built for you to suck away my life like the leech you are

The more you latch and attach yourself to me the more you repel me

Too much death

Too much

And it has and is currently surrounding me

Along with the presence of a rock and a hard place

Too much love and too much party punch

Too much,

To ever digest

When will it end?

Or will it never?

It’s been too much

But I’m done caring about the past which has only been one extreme to another like,

One foot in a bucket of ice and another in fire

Too far on opposite sides

Too far

They do not balance out in a nice way

One extreme and the other one

Hopes and dreams too far

Too much,

Too far

Strong?

I change daily

I'm not far from the brink

Closer than you may think

The word strong used on me, is laughable

I'm mad instead of joking gaily

I'm mad as hell

In a mess of my written words, I'm loud and mean and mad!

Then I become sad

Those two last line words are so vague

In this place I need to rebel

Oh, Ms. Hale

You can’t see it but I'm kicking and screaming!

I'm wonderstruck trying to stop myself from dreaming

I am scared of words; I'm scared to speak the name Voldemort!

I want to pay my own bail

Amy,

I believe you are temptingly wrong,

About me being superhumanly strong

That’s just not human and I'm just a little homo sapien,

Living in a big world, that can’t tame me

Just because of a worksheet, not your notepad

You think I have great strength on the inside

Yes I can be snide

Does that make sense?

I’m just saying, I'm stubbornly mad

Flit Flirt

You, little flit flirt

Back at my window

From bad to good, my feelings you convert

The wind blows, blows, blows

  Window, open, I still can’t hear you

Please stay

With you I think I’ll get through

My light of day

  Everything, you give

I’ll saver

Die for you, or live?

If you ever need a favor...

  You and I don’t have the clock,

Don’t rush

Love, my time torturously tick tocks

Me heart you better not crush

  I will succeed

Still you come and go

Love me?

You taught me how to go with the flow

All’s Not Lost

All's not lost

Until I have lost my mind

Now I will write

Into the night As if I am some sort of time lord

I will write

Until I feel alright

A poet’s tailbone

Is where they keep their tales

My tailbone is tired

I shall steal my sleep

From tomorrow

I am a true night time poet

With dry, tangled hair

Who knows where I’ll be able to take myself

Some is lost

And I'll admit that I fucked up

But I can almost trust

That this shall continue

I shall continue on this journey

That is full of losing

And gaining

NCCC

Never

Certain

Correctness

Current

Now

Cognitive

Correlation

Censor

New

College

Care

Collection

Noticed

Color

Confuse

Create

Trip

Swat

Soot

Positive

Treacherous

Stretch

Strengthen

Progress

Wholeness

I feel comfortable right now

In this moment

I’m warm

I’m tired

I’m not freaking out

I feel like a little kid in this state of innocence

But this moment has just been ruined by my colon

In other words

I have to poop

Fucking mother nature

You must be laughing at me

But since tomorrow is my birthday

I suppose I should let you have a laugh

But please be careful

With your volcanoes

And your avalanches

But thank you for this moment

Full of my favorite things,

Music,

Warmth,

Fuzzy blanket,

Yarn,

Silly conversations with friends,

A head of ideas,

And lastly,

A feeling of completeness

Or wholeness

I Am Sick, But How?

It won’t stop running I won’t stop chasing Instead I find myself pacing Awful is when you can’t think All of my friends are off and on sick As we get better, we’ll come back to butt kick Mom, let me do what I want Monsters are in my veins My eyes, they make bloodshot and they strain Sniffles are evil Super fun when they stop Stay silent and listen, you'll be able to hear me drop I refuse to go to the doctor Inventive is what you become In my world, my guitar I’ll strum Comparing myself to others, I need to stop Constantly, I find a new tissue in my hand Cramping, I force myself to stand Knuckle, with me monster! Knife to my life Kazoo in hand, no I’ll learn the fife! Blurred glasses Burning nose Bring a fire hose Ugly monster Utterly terrifying is how I look Useful is the medicine I took The sneezes that make your, Throat kill The fever chill How am I going to survive tomorrow? How am I going to get through school? How do you know when you’re being a fool? Orderly is everyone else Out of service is how I feel Ordinary is not how I peel What to do? Which friend to blame? Who stole my burning flame?

What Summer Is To Me

Summer has helped me almost fully recover

From being brainwashed

I almost lost me

But

I'm back to dreaming

About shoeshine and smiles

Back to the taste of salty sunflower seeds

Back to the smell of chives

Back to fires

And stars

Back to believing that shoeshine and smiles

Have more value than the realists could ever understand

Back to almost being able to feel the child in me playing

As if responsibilities and time do not exist

Back to smelling sunscreen and sweat

And loving it

Back to laying in cool grass

While staring up at the clouds

Back to feeling a little bit lonely in a unique way

In a Stargirl sort of way

Back to being as chill as

A flower girl

Living barefoot

Is the way it should be

Watching plants grow and cheering them out of the dirt

Bare, raw emotions bursting out of us like our acne

Warm sun feeling so good on your skin

Dreaming sweet dreams

All the while never wanting to sleep because life is more interesting

And secretly believing in the magic of shoeshine, smiles and the healing of summer