Solitary Confinement

Your Insults Are Shitty

Your insults are shitty

But I'm wittier. Why?

Because I belong to the comeback committee

You’ve changed your way

You were kidding before but now you mean what you say

And for reasons, I stay

I'm a willing fool

Just to be somewhat cool

In my uncool way of being uncruel

The volume on my thoughts is too loud

It's like a big obnoxious crowd

But I like it loud and I'll wear my thoughts like a stereo system, proud

You keep trying to put me in my spot

But you're not

Because I don’t have one, so you might want to change that thought

Rubbing yourself like an eraser in my face

Wont erase,

Me and my bigger, better chase

You make sure that I know that I'm annoying and gross

Maybe you need to up your none existent dose

Or have your fire put out with a fire hose

Because you aren’t doing it for my own good

You're not being a friend how a friend should

In this type of hood

I thought you knew that we have to stick together

Just like how I made your essay better

I try to give you all but you choose to wear her sweater

Kindergarten Alphabet

And now I listen to rock songs

As if I was casting a curse on you, a person who wronged me or was just plain wrong

Beating my

Back with the switch of embarrassment

Counting down from ten turned into

Counting down to when school ended

Destroying potential masterpieces and

Daring to act like my best friend

Examining me

Even to the point of just pure cruelty

Forgetting that we are the

Future

Getting what you wanted you

Gypped me

Happily fed the

Hatred in my heart

I'm still not social and I'm still not great at verbalizing

I clearly learned a lot from staying back

Javelined me with feelings of stupidity and low self esteem you

Justify this because you think it did me good

Knotted my life and slowed me down which

Killed me on the inside with depression

Lengthening my suffering by an extra year and my

Language, once again, has not improved

Motherfucker you

Misunderstood

Nervous because of your harsh, toughness maybe you

Never considered that it was you who was the problem

Ostracized me from my

Own class and best friend

Painful were the years that

Passed but the one spent with you was the most painful

Quivering were my lips, you were the ruling

Queen

Repress my feelings and I hold them inside so that I may move forward instead of staying in the same

Repulsive place where children’s minds are forced into corruption

Suffocation in my Thanksgiving bonnet with a

String under my chin holding in the awkward discomfort

Thinking back on those days with you causes me

Trauma

Underestimated are the soft introverts who are

Usually warm and caring rather than cruel, but now I have

Venom in my

Veins

What made you think that you should be in charge of my fate, while you aged,

Without talking I became stronger in my silence

Xenial from my classmates I so dearly miss and yet

X-rays will not show how much I hurt

You didn’t let me go down fighting,

You tried to sugarcoat my life

Zero in vocabulary you were a

Zealot

Holiday Swirl

I’m so horrible, bad luck doesn’t want a part of me

The crows fly away with the sight of me,

Inscribed in their retinas

I have my own invisible scarlet letter

“S” is the letter

My name…

Blades of grass spear through my shadow

So long ago that girl of a shadow

My 5 o'clock shadow of words

Maybe my writing phase is over

I can’t wake up from a dream when it’s already over

Maybe my blue pen is done kissing the paper

If you were the paper and I was the pen, you’d think I was trying to murder you

I don’t know me, without you

Sometimes I miss my ink

I’m scared my drugs are going to be discontinued

I’m scared my happiness has been discontinued

I used it all up in attempt to hang onto it

Flowers blossoming beautifully to their death

Everything living to its death

Birds singing the song the reaper himself wrote

Words tattooed to my face,

My award losing poker face

Why can’t you see the sadness in my bright eyes?

My depression is the light

Everyone’s happiness is the light

People keep dragging me there

They think they’re helping

Don’t ask me what is helping

Always asking the awful reverse

They think they know what’s best

No one knows best

No not even me

If only they would listen-

And yet, too intently is not how to listen

They never do

You were in Love with Love

Late night conversations

Me and my hesitations

Let’s not forget those limitations

I'm smarter than before

I was naive when I was rich; I have common sense now that I'm poor

I found my way around the moor

You're all hurt now but I'm not

In love with love you got caught

Did you find that a twist in the plot?

You with your "Oh, okays"

You left me with wasted days

Wishing that if I sat still long enough, I'd just decay

I wanted to go into a state of nonexistence

Instead I ended up becoming more resistant

Happiness in the far distance

It turns out, you were not the sun

In the cold you don't seem to have fun

You didn't bother to learn my puns

I'm disappointed not mad

That lad,

Isn't the reason I'm sad

When you flirt

It hurts

I no longer have to share dessert!

"She doesn't deserve to be ignored"

I cut the cord

So get out of my life with your longboard

Boom!

Impending doom

Anticipating the "boom!"

I got sent the invitation

To sticky isolation

The deathly scent of flowers

Looking at the world alone at the top of the Eiffel Tower

A lonely gold filled casket

No more money in the basket

That money was wasted

Just imagine how bad that tasted

Every breath,

Is one closer to death

Then I feel insecure

In a crowd of people, doesn't matter what store

Anxiety still in the room

Sitting there waiting for the "boom!"

I try to hug the earth but all I do is hit the floor

It hurts but I go back for more

Sara, I can imagine you popping up out of nowhere

Depressing reality, but I still care

I can feel the wall of basses

The sickening sound of them not in their cases

Still feeling the arriving doom

Just around the loom

Then the crowd of violins start to rain

And the dark basses in my ears, they stain

The basses echo and rumble in my gut

Running from my problems, out of the room I rebely strut

Anxiety

Waiting for the call

Waiting for the call

How will I stall?

How will I stall?

Anxiety

Anxiety

Bolting through my veins

Hydrogen, Helium, Sodium, Boron

I must be made out of morons

I own scratched up pencils

They don't fit extra ordinary stencils

Books and essays

Overwhelmed I say

I own knocking knees

I know who I am, I just can't be

Do and don't

Know that I probably won't

I own a pounding heart

One of my arts

What is history?

It's part of my mystery

Anxiety

Anxiety

How will I stall?

How will I stall?

Waiting for the call

Waiting for the call

Similar All The Same

I'm a little punk

A little rebel

I used to be the opposite

But similar all the same

Then I fell in love with something I can't have and my heart sunk

My heart is a devil

The burn causing flame in my brain got lit

The beast of my heart I couldn't tame I used to feel guilt like hell

It had complete control over me

Therefore I had nothing hidden

Dealing with the devil, my guilt was a good idea to sell

I broke free

I became guilty ridden The free rain ran over me and cleaned my obedience away

I broke them damn chains!

I began to hide during the day

Some of my fears I told to go fuck themselves, went down the drain So now I'm everything that screams courage and fearless

Every word that I write helps me to be tearless But I am still similar all the same

Yellow Lines

Staring into the yellow lines

Trying to go with the flow

I cannot bring myself to look up at the pines

Delirious depression in this mechanical car is a light load Sitting next to one of my discombobulating demons

Unable to run or fight it

Inside I am scream'n

This makes me want to fuck shit Staring at the two yellow lines, I think...

About last year when I climbed the walls

I should take leaps for the fun of the falls

Onto the sun warmed tar I desire to sink Thinking about two people who give me hope

That is for whatever is next to come

I feel the slope,

That leads into my own personal slum

Two lines, two women who are fierce

How far will I get with the uneven yellows?

Bright yellow does pierce

Stuck like a baby in the backseat type of mellow What to do when I turn the stone of 18?

My enemy has me trapped and constantly, greedily coming back

I have to hold the slack

What do I even know? One thing is for certain

I will keep moving forwards

Hopefully I'll stick with my words

I will go wherever the yellow snakes take me, in order to see the man behind the curtain

Hot Tears

Hot tears could set this place on fire

All these flame flame flames

Who aim aim aims

These flame flame flames

At me?

But even if this place burned down

It would lack lack lack,

You, come back come back come back

I lack lack lack

The part, of my heart that you took

I've become so hot that I'm blue

Into my life you came came came

Do you think this is a game game game

The way that you came came came

And left me

You left me with hope that has evaporated

You had hope hope hope

To keep this boat afloat float float

I want that beautiful hope hope hope

Sos

I know that I'm just wasting paper thinking that we shall meet again

Life just seems lame lame lame,

Without you, do you feel the same same same,

About this being lame lame lame

Amy?

Marble

Our time is 5:07

It's my heaven

Don't you ever doubt that you are my friend

Shall I make you say it again?

You know what I mean

Please spill the beans

I’ve heard that before but I don't know where

Sorry, but I don't dare

I can't hurt you, I won't sugarcoat it with extra fluff

You've already been hurt enough

I like writing misery, you like science

But 5:07 is our compliance

I refuse to lose my marble

This one is really garbled

Garbled and hard to understand, without a doubt

I like it when you freak out

It means you care

My tall teddy bear

Now you know that I can't even sneeze

And all you could say was, "oh jeez"

Oh but that guy, Brad

She's mad

To make her day

She wishes that certain people would get out of the way

She's befuddled

I'm befuddled

When she smiles

I sit back and watch for awhile

For you I will never stop

Until I'm at the top

That rock wall, for you I will climb

Because 5:07 is our time