Tydr2gun - Tyler Smiler

i needed to read this today so im sharing it to all of you!!

Me, most days: Astronomy is so beautiful! Science is so wonderful! I love being a human and getting to pursue my innate curiosity about the nature of the world around me! I am so lucky!

Me, the night before an exam: fuck this fuck you fuck me fuck everything I’m 24 fucking years old and I have a test tomorrow what the fuck

advice for first year uni students from a uni senior

the roommate(s) will always be more important than the room

+ for roommates, SET. CLEANING. EXPECTATIONS. EARLY. don't wait until you're uncomfortable with how much mess is in the kitchen for you to start thinking if you should bring it up or not. set standards and make them clear.

put your key on a lanyard and hang it from your doorknob when you’re at home so you don’t forget it on the way out

if your dorm has a shared laundry room, set your timer for when your laundry finishes ~5 mins early to give you time to walk from your room to the laundry - especially during weekends/evenings/finals people wont have the patience to wait for you - even if your load just finished

If you have noodle arms like me, buy yourself one of those collapsible grocery carts you drag behind you like a luggage - best purchase i've ever made

Or if you're lazy, order online - but order on a free day because even if you schedule a time they're always gonna come stupid early and you dont want any frozen items to get spoiled or have your groceries stolen

DONT BUY ANY TEXTBOOKS/MATERIALS UNTIL THE FIRST WEEK/CLASSES ARE OVER. sometimes you’ll have early access to the booklist or syllabus and go ahead and start buying textbooks, but increasingly often you’ll buy the materials and show up to class just to find your prof has uploaded scanned copies of everything. *save your money*, wait!

BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS - look at your class schedule and walk around campus to find each classroom. you will probably get lost on day 1 and so will many other students so this will save you a lot of walking around bumping into other lost first years

trust me after a few weeks you won’t be waking up for that 8am class. i know you did it 5 days a week in high school, but there’s a reason uni students are allergic to morning classes. know your natural energy/attention levels and take advantage of the freedom to build your schedule around your energy fluctuations

compress/stack your class schedule as much as possible. if you absolutely do need breaks, make them at least 1.5-2 hours long or you probably wont get anything productive done and minimize these long breaks as much as you can so you can just get your day over with sooner

work smarter, not harder - when school starts note each course’s assessment type by quizzes/finals/essays. if i ever have a course thats just essays, i only do lecture notes + write my own annotations about readings rather than taking notes on them which saves time i can dedicate to textbook notetaking for courses with frequent quizzes + finals

if your school has benefits/discounts/insurance - know what it is and USE IT.

most clubs wont be like high school where there are regular meetings you attend. unless youre in the exec team the membership fee you pay/when you sign up for membership it’s just for access to their events when they happen. if you want to be involved in a club in a way thats as involved as high school, look at their social media pages for hiring.

+ as someone who has had to hire before - if you’re nervous, literally just do it. i was in an exec position for our student union services and once only had like 3 applicants to pick from

if you want to be noticed by a professor, sit in the front row. and always answer/ask questions - it doesn’t matter if you said anything of substance or not, they will remember that you contributed

that and also always make the point to say hello and goodbye! eventually (in my experience) if you come early enough and are just waiting for class to start, a conversation will happen - make these regular enough and you could have an important connection!

disclaimer: of course, not all of this might be something that resonates with you/possible for your course or school, so in the words of my cousin - take what resonates

+ anyone else is free to add on!!

Watching a soft person come out of a family of insensitive and hard hearted people is like watching a little beam of sunshine come out on the rainiest days.No one ever actually moved the clouds for them,no one ever taught them kindness,it was a choice,one that they made every day.They didn’t just survive the bad days,they came out of it as a softer person.It’s not like the issues didn’t effect them,and it’s not like they didn’t cry rivers over it,but they knew better than to continue the cycle of pain and sadness.

all i'd like to know at this point is if i've done anything to make you leave or was i simply just not enough

a very very important reminder to myself and anyone who can relate:

whenever i'm going through a very low depressive episode after being high function, autopilot mode of constant studying, working, simply on top of everything for a while, i always think to myself:

but why can't i be like that again? why can't i be like everyone else who just goes to work? people have bills to pay and here i am skipping out on work and studying while everyone else is just "sucking it up and going" i thought my future mattered? does it not?

well honey, it does. your future does matter. but also the present matters as well so taking the time to care for yourself is 100% as important.

and guess what? you are not like everyone else. not even everyone else is like everyone else. being severely depressed and having it interfere with your work and school life is an effect of being disabled. it is a disability. it's not like you're making the conscious choice to be depressed and skip out on the important things in life. stop beating yourself up for being disabled. for being ill. for struggling with your illnesses.

i know it's hard to accept the typical "it's not your fault, you're okay" advice but sometimes it helps to remember that what you struggle with is a disability/illness and that dealing with it in anyway you do (unable to get our of bed, not being able to go to work or school) is not voluntary and it takes away some of the blame and guilty you carry.