Tydr2gun - Tyler Smiler

my mentor's trust in my abilities (unstoppable force) vs. my crippling self doubt (immovable object)

Midnights is for the girls who worked hard to get a life of their own, but now feel empty, it's the album you listen to when you're alone in the kitchen with no partner to cook with, no friends to go out with, no parents to comfort you. It's for the jo march girls, who gave up everything and everyone and pretend like it's alright but cry themselves to sleep every night, it's for the girls who stare at the ceiling for hours after coming home, it's for the masterminds, the people pleasers, for the girls who think they're unlovable, it's for the autumn/winter girls, it's for the girls who love rain and gloom, it's for the girls who read the most gut wrenching books to feel emotions, it's the ultimate sad girl album.

working day and night it feels like

shoutout to the people that like learning, who love learning, who want to learn and understand and create things on their own terms, but can’t go to college/university. not for lack of money or access (although those are obviously valid and understandable), but because their disabilities prevent them from doing it. who don’t have enough spoons to take a university course and complete the amount of mental and physical work it entails. who are too anxious to leave home and don’t have the resources to combat that anxiety. who get burned out quickly and easily and can’t handle the amount of effort university takes. it’s not your fault and does not determine your worth - you are allowed to do what makes you comfortable. for those that mourn the loss of their college experience, i understand and your feelings are valid. whatever the reason may be, i see you.

Honestly, I miss undergrad me. Like where is the girl who took 18+ hours a semester, worked 30 hours a week, and suffered tragedy after tragedy and yet still got all of my work done and done well. Now I can’t even  concentrate…

I want to study in Harvard, Oxford, Cambridge, at least in the Sorbonne or some kind of college where classes are great, the infrastructure is beautiful and practical, with outdoor spaces with lots of grass to sit (for picnics with other students, or to read by yourself) and just relax. I want to be taught by Professors Researchers, and I wanna be able to take every book that i need to read from the university's library. I want cafeterias with a few normal options for lunch at a cheap price, and coffee from the uni café or from those shitty coffee vending machines.

it was 6:50am when I took these pictures and the place was empty!! I always try to go to a coffee shop near my school if I have early class just to go through my notes because the air is cold and the streets are empty and the coffee is delicious

08.04.2023 🍀

“and august slipped away into a moment in time”