Latest Posts by u-wont-guess-who - Page 2

I won't.....I would keep this to myself and pretend it is normal because honestly at this point it is normal for me to not tell anything to anyone. I try and share so minuscule things of my everyday life to my friends to make sure that I never share the actual important stuff of my life to them. i always feel there's a wall separating them from me because their parents are so lenient whereas my parents are very strict.

How do I explain this desire to no longer explain anything to anyone?

i cried today as well. two days in a row and I cried. Is my life so depressing. agar iss bitch ko hurt feel hua hai ki mai fail hui hoon toh isse kya lagta hai ki mein khushi se naach rhi hoti hoon kya?

matlab faltu mein kuch bhi krne ke liye bolna hai toh eek line nhi 6-7 line mein chilla kr shrill voice mei bolna jaruri hai kya. issliye keh rhi hoon main ki she needs a therapist kyunki she definately needs help and i don't even mean this in an insulting way. She does need help and honestly it would benefit us a lot if she would go to a damn therapist. i swear jab mein badi hongi and if i have children of my own i would never let them feel so lonely that they would turn to books for imagination and friends. my priorities for them would be their health (which obv includes mental health), i want them to have a healthy and a good mindset and then knowledge. i hate her and i am cursing her out so often it's not good for me and not good for her either. when she doesn't know the whole fucking picture why the fuck is she coming to scold me? like no bitch i don't like annoying you and i genuinely don't know how to wake up in the mornings, like i don't know why i can't listen you waking me up. i don't know maybe i'm a heavy sleeper. i don't know anything to cure it. and yes i know i failed physics but did you ever come and talk to me about it? no you just speak in the fucking shrilly tone of yours and tell me that i need tution and how you are going to make me leave coaching. bitch i hate you. you say that i keep things hidden from you. you don't even listen to a fucking word i speak and you totally get the meaning of my words wrong. and you would never try to understand where i'm coming from.you're so narrow minded you would never try and understand me, you try and fail to be understanding so you know what please stop so i can atleast hate you properly

I dont feel like my life is on track. I was studying so ache se in the starting of the session but now again I'm distracted by songs and fanfictions and dreams etc

I cried today :( I dont get why my mother has to shout shrilly at me when she knows I'm in a hurry and things are not going through a schedule. I was booking a cab today and she is shouting at me for taking so long to book a cab when I do it every week. She is making it out as my fault . It's not my fault your phone is so dumb and always hanging and crashing and not working when I want it to work at the crucial moment . I also know its been 30 minutes already no need to come and shout at the freaking top of your lungs . Like bitch you made me cry. If you dont wanna contribute to anything nice in my life then why you need to come and shout and make me cry.

why does my mother always make me feel guilty about wanting to eat something sweet after my meal. and it's not as if I'm demanding a desert. I literally just want one bite of something sweet and she just rants out when i try to eat a few raisins or like a piece of mango or watermelon or maybe just one biscuit.

My rant on Yuri after watching amnse

I absolutely loved this series so much I am waiting for the next season. I just finished watching the 16th episode and I'm just so angry at Yuri. I just HATE him, like you don't deserve to be sad during the countdown because Jay Jay wasn't there. You literally forced her into a marriage without even asking for her consent, you don't even care about her feelings because in your mind you think you're saving her from Keifer but the only person she needs saving is YOU.

I mean she even confessed to you that she likes Keifer but you're still putting her in a difficult position by again and again mentioning you love her (I don't think you do .....cuz you're discarding her feelings). Yuri is trying to play it of as if he gave up Ella for Keifer but honey I bet you probably weren't even an option for her.

And to me it just looks like a competition, like he's desperate to have Jay Jay so that he doesn't loses the girl to Keifer AGAIN. I mean he literally compared Keifer to his father in his face so that he could make him back off. YURI, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE A LOVER OR A FRIEND.

I try to be the person with low requirements cuz I genuinely feel that's my only plus point but it's sad when you realise your "friends" take advantage of it

You put this into words

Agar phone aapka kharab Hua hai toh isme meri kya galti....Maine toh dnd mode kl raat ko hi hta diya tha toh phir mujh pr kyu Chila rhe ho .......

Just a reminder to all the people self sabotaging themselves

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

My mom read my diary....and everything is a mess

my parents specially my mother always judge me on my marks....they'll scold me.....they want me to do well and it's understandable cuz i failed physics and thats very low for me cuz last year i got 95. They are screaming at each other, finding tuitions so I do better (mind you, I already go to school AND COACHING) so much happened and none of them sat next to me and just asked "what happened? what problems did you face?" NOOOOOO they are convinced because things went according to me last year. Everything I do must be wrong, every way i did things must be wrongs.......and they are so misinformed (I want to just scream now) I can't even call it misinformation cause that would imply they have information but NOOO they don't have the full picture nor are they trying to see the full. they don't know what it's like to live through it and they want to dictate everything because ofcourse last year i did everything according to myself and i failed. They are (my mother is....I swear she is a witch for me now) convinced that everything they do is gonna turn out great because that is exactly what happened 2 years ago. BUT YOU STUPID PEOPLE, I WASN'T GOING TO COACHING **AND** SCHOOL THAT YEAR, I WASN'T HAVING **THAT** BIG OF A SYLLABUS . but yk what I don't have the energy to talk to them right now because they just pull the marks.....they just pull the fact that I FAILED and I am acting as if doesn't bother me. you dumbshits, ofc it bothers me.....I've been crying everyday in the morning but why would i show it YOU when I know you're gonna taunt me about it? Do you think I'm stupid?

It's easier for my parents to say, speak up more in class, ask more, stop acting dumb but it's just sad that they never thought why I have turned into a very quiet person when once I was known as a chatterbox..... as a kid during PTM, the teacher used to complain that I talk too much but now my teachers say that I don't talk at all. It's sad that my parents never questioned me on this 180 change in behavior

this is the most wholesome incorrect but still correct sea fam quote ever

Percy: You came to my graduation?

Poseidon: Of course I did! I'm proud of you.

Percy: But this is mortal stuff! I'm not saving the world or defeating Olympus's enemies.

Poseidon: That's true. But Percy, do you realize that you've put more effort into graduating from high school than saving the world? If it's that important to you, then it's important to me.

Poseidon: Besides, there's a reason why your sword converts to a pen form. I want you to know that I support you having interests and a life outside of fighting.

Its 12:55am and I'll study as if my exam is tomorrow...I'll update you on how it goes

honestly, I think all I needed was for my bestfriend to come and scold me and then help me to make a plan to reach my goals...

My mother is a bitch....She judges my worth according to my marks. I love her but she's is the most negative and irrational person. sometimes I wish that she wasn't my mother.....honestly I am glad my mindset is good because of reading books otherwise I would have definitely been depressed and suicidal. according to her "mai eek boj hoon family pr "

I just studied for 1 hr today.....my day was wasted 💔

Today was my result day and I got 64%....never in my entire life have I gotten less than 90. But this year I was just plain arrogant , I wanted to get good marks by just studying on the last days and I was getting annoyed that it wasn't working in class 11 because for the previous years it was working out. So in the end I actually failed physics and gave retest for it and barely passed. My parents expressed their disappointment and honestly I'm dissapointed in myself too.....but I FAILED PHYSICS THEN WHY ARE THEY TELLING ME TO GET MATHS TUTION? I mean Ik my maths werent that good but I failed physics not maths besides out of PCM my highest was in maths.........................but idk how to speak about this to my papa

I needed this

✧˖° how to stop self-sabotaging your success (and finally commit to doing the work)

post 1 post 2

hi angel, mindy here. let’s talk. because i know you want this. you want to be that student who shows up for herself/himself. you want to stop making excuses. you want to feel proud of yourself when this is all over. so why do you keep putting up roadblocks in your own way? why do you keep pulling yourself away from the very thing you know you need to do?

self-sabotage is not laziness. it’s fear, it’s perfectionism, it’s comfort, it’s this deep, quiet resistance that whispers, what if i try and fail? so you never fully try.

but guess what? we’re breaking that cycle today. right now.

✧˖° the illusion of "i’ll do it later"

procrastination is a liar with a pretty voice. it tells you that you’ll do it when you feel more ready, when you’re in a better mood, when the circumstances are just right. but the truth? later is just a hiding place.

so next time you catch yourself saying “i’ll do it tonight” or “tomorrow is better,” stop. ask yourself: what makes later better than now? if you don’t have a solid answer, it’s just fear talking.

✧˖° you’re scared of what happens when you actually succeed

self-sabotage isn’t just about the fear of failure. sometimes, it’s the fear of what happens when you actually get what you’ve been working toward.

because success? means expectations. it means proving that you can do it again. it means stepping into a version of yourself that no longer has excuses. and that can be terrifying.

but here’s the truth: the version of you that’s waiting on the other side of this work? she’s not a stranger. she’s still you, just with more proof of what you’re capable of.

✧˖° your study habits are built around guilt, not discipline

if studying always feels like punishment, if your entire academic routine is built around the feeling of “i should be doing more,” of course you’re going to resist it.

so let’s shift this. instead of studying because you have to, start studying because you deserve to succeed. because you want to feel prepared. because the version of you who walks into that exam room with confidence? deserves to exist.

make studying feel like an investment, not a punishment. romanticize it. find ways to make it an experience you don’t want to run from. pinterest is your best friend, studytok is your motivator and me (@glowettee is your mentor 😉)

✧˖° you wait for motivation instead of creating discipline

motivation is like a guest who shows up unannounced. sometimes, she arrives when you least expect it, and sometimes, she ghosts you for weeks.

discipline, though? discipline is the friend who always shows up. she’s reliable. she doesn’t wait until she “feels like it.” she just does it, because that’s who she is.

so stop waiting for motivation to hit like some kind of magical burst of energy. instead, set up routines that make studying non-negotiable. that make it feel natural. like brushing your teeth, like making your bed, like second nature.

✧˖° self-sabotage is a pattern. patterns can be broken.

if you’ve spent years avoiding hard work, of course your brain is going to resist when you suddenly decide to commit. your instincts are wired to avoid discomfort.

but the good news? self-sabotage is a learned habit. which means you can unlearn it. every time you choose to sit down and do the work, even when you don’t want to, you are rewriting your patterns. you are proving to yourself that you are not the same person who gives up.

and eventually? showing up for yourself won’t feel like a battle anymore. it will feel normal. it will feel like who you are.

✧˖° this is the moment you choose differently

look, you can close this post and keep doing what you’ve always done. you can keep waiting for some magical day when it all feels easy. or you can make a decision, right here, right now.

you can decide that you are done getting in your own way. that you are done letting fear win. that you are done delaying your own success.

because the version of you who is already succeeding? she is not far away. she is right there, waiting for you to step into her shoes.

it’s time, angel. show up.

love you all sooo much <3 i hope this post can help you understand; self-discipline > motivation

with love, mindy

We all deserve someone who can read us better than we do.

Is it weird that I can categorize my life into phases of fandom

I'll be honest I am an absent friend like I would go out of my way to make you feel happy and I would definitely take your side when you're venting about someone else to me but I just tend to live in my own world and suck at keeping up the communication regular but if you with or without any reason start ignoring me and then drop obvious clues that you're ignoring me.....I'm sorry but you've lost me as your friend

If you think you can control me by ignoring me and I would ask you what happened you're wrong. This is a manipulation and I am not falling for it

I know it's very wrong that I failed physics and had yo give a retest and I know last year I didn't study at all. I know it's my mistake but really mom? Do you think screaming at me about it 24/7 would help? I love how you easily give up and think I can't do it. And when you say that again and again, in doing nothing but cursing you in mind and it's not something I want to do. You're my mom but I have kind of lost respect for you, the only reason I act a little respectfully is because I feel obliged to return something in return because it was you who shaped me into the person I am today and honestly I'm proud of myself for my EQ. Yes I know it's wrong for me to be distracted the whole year to the point where I failed a subject but honestly what I am telling myself is that I gained an experience, a bad one, something I don't want to repeat ever again but it's just an experience, it was just one phase on my life. I'm not gonna let that define my whole life, I am sure I am not a failure because I haven't given up and I have moved on to start with the new session already, sure my last session was a mess but I'll do better. I'll make it better. I'm not just gonna stop and give up because I didn't achieve the model grades. That's so stupid and dumb.

Give up your bad habits and do atleast one thing better than yesterday, improve yourself day by day, don’t ponder much on people’s thought and comments they don’t even know the tip of your inner self. They might know some sides which your parents don’t but realize that they still don’t really know who you actually are, so their judgements are not applicable to you. Just go and become better than yesterday,, DO better than yesterday. This is YOUR success, No one, not even your parents will care that much, You have to take care and pain for your success, No one will give a shit. It is your life, Your goals are something no one would understand not even your parents, your definition of success is different than everybody’s so take care, take pain

I need to study because I want to get in the best college/ university so that I can get good placement and starting package can be good also to have sophisticated and quality education compared to the rest of the people. I really want to be the girl who would make it above average. I want to be that girl who is disgustingly overeducated so that the second anyone has a question I am the first person they turn to and I am able to answer that question surely without a doubt on myself or my answer. I want to be appreciated and known for my knowledge because that is also the one thing that no one could ever take from me. tbh i just want to be that person which other parents use an example infront of their kids.(I swear this is the Indian in me)

I just had my retest today and I would like to thank God , because I passed my retest. Thank you so much god for listening to me. I promise this session I am gonna aim for 96%. I am going to study consistently everyday. I am going to prove it to myself that I can do it. All the mistakes I made in 11th, I'm gonna correct them now. I would just like to retell myself that it's never too late to correct your mistakes or it's ever too late to start studying. You can do it. All the best

(And yes, I'll keep updating..)

I don't want to be a burden to my parents, I really really want to be their pride. The one who fulfills my and their dreams. I want to be a role model for my small brother so that no matter what he has me as the safety net. But here I am, I failed my exam, it's a first and I'm not even studying properly ,the exam is in 2 days and I am just so horrible. I couldn't even keep the promise I made to myself. What if everything turns out so bad that I can't even trust myself?

I started a productivity challenge for myself a few days ago....I was barely conpleting it. Only able to tick off 1 item off my to do list. I was still procrastinating watching tv shows, reading fanfictions, daydreaming. I still started this challenge of productivity, I was falsely trying to convince myself that I'll make it, that atleast I started with baby steps such as thinking about this, then posting the first 3 days of it on tumblr. But the real reason that I did this was because I was afraid I was gonna fail my physics exam. This was the fear inside me that I was trying to hide from myself and the people around me. And that is exactly what happened to me, I failed my physics exam and you wanna know the worst part? I kind of don't really care. And my parents didn't care either. Not in the way that you're thinking but last year in 10th grade, I was always being pushed to do best and my mom did so much for me, she used to teach me but since 11th I've heard it from so many people that 11th goes bad for every pcm kid and everyone suffers a downfall from 10th to 11th. But I literally failed. I went from getting atleast 95% to not even passing. That's how low I have fallen and i haven't cried yet. I feel like since I've been exposed to too many people saying that bad grades are literally a cannon event in 11th, I've grown numb to getting low score. Even though I'm realising this and writing it out, I'm still not feeling the sadness and the determination I know I would have felt in 10th and this is so sad. It is so disheartening. And tbh I'm clueless on how to study now. I have 2 days for the retest. A part of me is still sad about the indifference and the lack of emotion I'm showing regarding this.

DATE : 10-3-25

Aim: IIT Bombay,CS

2/100

I started my day with watching my fav series for like 4 hours straight after that I had my lunch and then I got to work. I completed 1 whole chapter of maths.

5hr 3min on ypt