I Certainly Wasn't Happy Before My Attempt. The Pain Was All I Could Really Think About At The Time.

Post-9/11 kids nowadays

An overworked wishing flower

although it got delisted from steam, it can still be played on pc through BLRevive.

ok this is gonna be unrelated to anything i usually post and im tagging #gaming and #blacklight retribution and #fps even if they doesnt have an actual fanbase. anyway

blacklight retribution is the game of all time. its a blatant cod bo3 copy, alright, but it has built in wallhack (with a cooldown, obviously), the controls are retro (aka they suck) and all the players also suck. which puts me exactly on top because i know how to take advantage of all of that

the game, like original cod games, has like a "spendable credit score" system or something. you trade your score for goods and services basically. and one of those goods is the Fucking Hardsuit, costing 1300.

and holy shit it sucks.

i actually buy the hardsuit every match im in, not because i like it – no, no, i hate it, it doesnt allow you to use the built-in wallhack, it has slow movement, and he gets stuck a lot. but, without fail, i still buy it. and, also without fail, i give it to the shittiest player on my team. this hollow shell of a person that cant even play one of the most basic fps games ever.

and i always feel like a father, the father i wish i always had (i have one but i dont like him), a father giving his son a shitty toy. but this toy means so much to the child they isnt just gonna give up. no, no, theys gonna cling on to it, they will spend so much time with it. and they will like it. a lot.

so yeah the game is free on ps4 idk on steam (adding the tags #ps4 and #steam rn)

drew over something i wrote for a class and liked :] sorry the cars are lowkey ugly, its because I fucking hate cars and cant be bothered to learn what they look like beyond ominous hunks of metal

edit: transcript of the poem by itself under the cut

6 Tips for Crossing the Road

Look both ways

The road is for cars. 

Make sure to look for them before crossing. Even when you have the right of way, cars have a lot of safety features and you have none. 

Use designated crosswalks 

The road is for cars. 

So is the crosswalk but, under brief and temporary conditions, you can use it too! Never jaywalk, never walk in the road, just hope there is a clear and functional sidewalk. 

Cross at the light

The road is for cars. 

There are rules and signs for them, but that can only go so far. Walk quickly and hold your breath and hope that the light doesn't turn. Make eye contact with drivers as their cars teem with potential energy, rumbling with disdain at the inconvenience of your crossing. Try to ignore the cloud of exhaust that you are in and they are above. 

Leash your pets

The road is for cars. 

Obviously. 

To you, it may be natural to sacrifice so much space to them but to your dog, it is not. His instinct is to explore freely. You must curb it. Modern US car models have such high hoods that the average child, let alone dog, is obscured. Even on the sidewalk, hold the leash tight because the sidewalk (if you are so blessed) is next to the street and the threat still looms.

Look out for road kill

The road is for cars. 

And no one was there to leash the deer. 

Or the raccoon. 

Or the cat. 

Did you know that the most reliable sample method for wildlife in an area is looking at the roadkill? 

Remember these tips

The road is for cars. 

Cars are everywhere. In the city. In the suburbs. In the country. In the woods (the US Forest Service manages more roads than the entire Ministry of Transit in China.) Cars are everywhere because there are roads to bring them there, which is great if you are a car and want to get from place to place fast without worrying about the in-between. 

Unfortunately, you are not a car. 

You are an animal. 

You are in-between. 

So remember to look both ways. 

Dino Mommy Summer

via @swatercolor [insta]

Headcanon: The specific wording here, “all the tales told by his species”, isn’t just a shorthand for “all the tales told about Irnakk by his species”. Rather, it’s a convention in Skakdi storytelling that the end of every story features a gruesome murder of all the characters by Irnakk, even if it has nothing to do with him. Not writing this scene indicates the author needs the characters alive for a sequel.

probably for the best Kotu as a Toa would've been an absolute menace

The Grand Folia Hotel by keysmasht

Released: February 2023

63k words; 12 chapters

Noteworthy Tags:

Status: Complete

When an Affini outpost and the object of Phoebe's spy assignment for the Rebellion turns out to be an elaborate "floret-run" hotel, she begins to wonder if she's in over her head.

Grand Folia Hotel is a fic I feel downright unqualified to speak about, because it's just downright incredible. The setting is lush and richly realized, Celosia is a terrifying and enticing force of nature, and chapter 10 hits like a goddamn freight train. The fic feels downright platonic in a way. Like, if one were to wish for an ideal version of an HDG story, a kindly genie might produce something that looks an awful lot like Grand Folia Hotel. I lack the expertise on Wes Anderson to say if the name is more than simply a cute play on words, but it would not surprise me.

anyways (I say this as someone who is deeply critical of the united states government, military, unchecked capitalism, police, etc) I am SICK of people treating america as if it has no cultural value or positives so….. I love u 85 million acres (bigger than italy) of national parks. I love u harlem renaissance. I love u groundhogs day. I love u sweet tea and fried chicken and jambalaya. I love u apple cider donuts and maizes on crisp autumn days. I love u 95k miles of coastlines and new england fisherman and hand knitted sweaters. I love u halloween where millions of people dress up and give candy to strangers and carve jack o’lanterns. I love u small talk and small towns and potlucks and bringing over casseroles to your struggling neighbors. I love u cowboys and ranch hands and arizonian cactus. I love u appalachian trail and dirtbikes and divebars. I love u sparklers and fireflies. I love u mark twain and toni morrison and emily dickinson and henry david thoreau. I love u rock n roll i love u bluegrass and hippies i love u jimi hendrix and nirvana and CCR and janis joplin. I love u victorian houses and jonny appleseed and john henry and mothman and bigfoot. I love u foggy days in the pacific northwest and neon signs and roadside attractions. I love u baseball and 1950s diners and soft serve. I love u native american art and pop art and poptarts. I love u blue jeans and barbecues and jazz musicians