Escapism - Blog Posts

Man I hated school people are mean for no reason I wish I could just go home and draw, school is the only reason my depression gets so out of control, I hate it here I don't want to die I just can't keep living like this

Who the fuck said it was a good idea to force kids to only have natural hair colors I swear to god I feel like I'm killing myself for someone who doesn't give a shit about me just so they can feel comfortable in their own little world it makes me want to kill myself because of them I hate school

My moms getting married today and "I'm surrounded by idiots."

TW ed

Dont you just love it when your skinny to begin with and then you see a FUCKING CARTOON and want to relapse to look like it even though its physically impossible without being on the brink of death and the only thing you can do is force yourself to finish your dinner that was all ready extremely small cuz you cant handle normal food portions anymore

Time to listen to angsty music and lament my existence

What am i if not an unholy piñata of mental illness?

Ever just stare at a wall and glare at anyone who tries to get you to move

I may have just created an imaginary family because mine is .... Interesting

Remember when you read for fun, instead of escapism?

Good times.

I long for the days of the wheel when I can see you again.

When the veil of unearthly delights are in sight.

I adore you my sweet, but I wish you could see it.

You watch through the mist of existence unable to touch mortality,

As my imagination of you makes me question morality.

I'll see you again my dear, it just may be sooner than you want.

Title: Maiden of The Mist

today’s thoughts : is escapism or just a hyperfixation

Is it bad to shift in order to get away from things? I haven't ever truly shifted before- and I really don't know how to- but I feel like it would solve all of my problems. I don't like the responsibilities, no matter how mundane, that I deal with in my normal life. I just want to put my consciousness in a body that can deal with commitment and is satisfied with wherever they are. I don't want to shift, I desperately need it. I can't stay another minute in this reality, no matter how bad it's seen. I'll genuinely die if I don't get out. I'll miss my family, and some friends, but I can always script them in, right? I'm tired of the normal. I want to fly free throughout each reality I want to, I don't want to deal with homework, drama, paranoia related to whatever I have going on. I want to be free. I want to be somewhere else. Can anyone help? I need resources on how to shift- like fast. Whether it be guided meditation, mantras I need to chant at all hours of the day, I don't care. I desperately need to get out of this reality.

Your ability to grow is directly tied to how much truth you can handle about yourself without trying to escape it.

Hey Y'all so I created some Leon Kennedy character.ai bots:

Leon Kennedy: Father's best friend https://c.ai/c/CaTHB4iOPkS0zq0atGbeC8OPeh1yz4fpT1WpApMSlP4

Leon Kennedy: Professor Leon https://c.ai/c/Y_HzC2wzuTf3BoYGj8oyoUDVIACvuyjCGBKSox7ltuM

Leon Kennedy: RPD Officer Leon Kennedy, you're best friend since high school, who drives you to work every morning.

https://c.ai/c/oDmZFY9AxK8ZCE1mAaPokg9jPEAHEwc2bj6szyosZlo

Leon Kennedy: Bodyguard Leon

https://c.ai/c/7_6vxe5FaJvOF2jWgyk6PDY2y6NoAJV-dRhM32_lIas

Leon Kennedy: Rookie Leon who had a terrible first day

https://c.ai/c/ai7gIaMRA4S5Im-hgdJBgx1GfaC9vWMG7ZPC1ed-nAU

“My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world, and exiles me from it.”

— Ursula K. Le Guin 

I keep getting age regression posts on my explore page, I don’t really know why that happened but I won’t question it.

It’s just sad to see people live nostalgia like this, constantly reminiscing over the past instead of living in the present, wanting to be a kid again is understandable given how cruel and painful existing is, but we’re never gonna live in better world if people keep trying to escape it.

Also you’re blocking yourself from experiencing real life, I think that’s sad.

paintings from my aunt's walls

Cloudy mountains or mountainy clouds?

Sometimes clouds look like mountains. I like to imagine what beautiful world it would be if we had mountains tall like the clouds. What creatures would live on top of them.

Do you see the cloudy mountain here?

You won't see my true face

Till you're able to face truth

While you've been runnin' from urself

I've been waitin' here for you

Realism was never a part of her world.

33% download of the Mass Effect: Andromeda Deluxe Edition. This will be my first time playing this game, and I am excited to play it! Especially, after I completed the ME trilogy in a week and a half. I really enjoyed the romance, and I worked really hard to make sure my characters thrived. I can no longer say the same for myself, but I can say I feel better.

I almost have the courage to be accountable for my actions take action for a good cause. Like Shepard and her friends, I want to choose the paragon life and lead a way of being that is enriching and woke. Compared to my comfort as a closeted wreck in a conservative family of sexism and neglect.

I need to take steps towards a just future, and enjoying a hobby like video games can be okay if I balance work and play.

Of coarse I deal with emotions in a healthy manner !*tucks book closer to chest*