Fictionkin Memories - Blog Posts

I miss people i never should know- I feel lonely at times despite my having freinds. I shouldn't feel this way- but i do- I end up seeing the people i knew in my freinds on accident and feel bad.

I miss ranting to Soul about things and him giving advice despite being annoyed/tired at me and Mind fighting.

I miss begrudgingly hanging out with Mind and the times we actaully were chill with eachother (in a sibling way- like the silliest things could get us fighting but we still care for eachother- and just have diffrent ways of processing things)

It wasn't great at times (such as being thrown in an apathy hole) but I miss it- even though i know i technically never experienced it. 💜

Time for more bad memories from my life as Zuki. I have debated about posting this a few times but I think I need to, to get it off my chest or whatever you wanna say.

Tw/cw: (failed) suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, self harm, death of a family member, grief, and abuse. Let me know if I missed any tw/cw.

There were times right after I turned 14 years old as Zuki (my aunt, who I looked up to so much, died on my 14th birthday so yeah) that I ended up going to the top of my middle school building [I couldn't fly at the time] and was debating jumping from it, I never did.

But a few days after my 14th birthday, all the grief and anger and shit I felt from my aunt's death (she was a hero, and she died fighting some villains) had gotten to be too much for me to deal with and I went to a part of the middle school that pretty much no one went to and pretty much everyone wouldn't have cared about me anyways.

Anyway, I went to the secluded place of the school and I had a knife in my backpack, I always carried it with me, not only because of self-harm tendencies but also because it was a gift from my aunt who died. I thought I was alone, cause who in their right mind would be in this part of that school? (Neither of us there were in our right mind, so I guess that answers that, lol).

Anyway, I took the knife and cut pretty deep on my arms and legs. I had put down something, I think it was my jacket, to try and make less of a mess with the blood cause I didn't wanna cause too much more trouble, lol. But someone who I didn't really know well (I kinda wish it stayed that way, but whatever) came and helped me to the nurse's room. If that nurse could have let me just die, she would've, but she didn't wanna get in trouble with my older sibling, lol.

Anyways, that nurse just did the bare minium, so I wouldn't die. I talked a bit with the girl who saved me. She seemed nice (seemed is the key word there). After the school day ended, it was like only an hour or so cause I did this during my free period, which was my last 'class' of the day. After the bell rang, I walked to a little medical building that [mainly] was for those with no quirks, hated quirks, etc. So because of this, it didn't have a mandatory reporting thing, which was good for me, cause I didn't want anyone else to know that I tried to kill myself and failed. But yeah, the lady who helped me then was very nice and I would continue to go there when I needed medical stuff.

The girl who saved me, about a week or so later, came up to me and said she liked me romantically. While I am (was?) cupioromantic, I didn't know that at the time, so I thought I liked her romantically as well, so I told her that and we started dating.

It was great at first, but after about 2 weeks or so of dating, she started to hurt me, while I did technically know this wasn't good, I had believed it had to be different here and that she was still good and everything (she wasn't, the abusive asshole).

Eventually, when I was like 15 and ½ years old or something like that, I realized I didn't feel romantic attraction at all and told my 'girlfriend' and broke up with her. It didn't go well.

She ended up stabbing me a few times, shit happened. Afterwards, I went to that same medical building I mentioned before and they helped me not die.

Eventually, I realized that my ex was probably only with me cause she wanted someone easy to hurt and shit. Idk just probably wasn't love from her end.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it) | I could go more into detail about probably all of this but I'm not gonna right now

DUDE YES PREENING!!

I made a post about that a bit, lol. Yeah, it's very much a pack thing! At first, only very few people were allowed to touch my wings at all, lol. Eventually, more people were added to that list, but the list of people who could actually preen my wings was still pretty small (around 6-8 people I think), lol. It's a very intimate thing, it's a pack thing, it's special.

I really consider/considered my whole class as my pack, but not everyone was in the same "category" of what they could do, if you get what I mean. Like not everyone was given permission to preen my wings and not everyone could suprise me with hugs or any touches without getting bit or something [very, very few people were in this category, mostly cause I got used to the little noises and shit they would make/do when they were about to touch me, lol. So it wasn't fully a suprise and shit.]

Also yeah looking at the actual canon for MHA, it's pretty fucking bad for my pack. I mean, we all had trouble and shit in my canon, but considering my canon didn't have the actual war and shit, it wasn't as bad in some ways. So it's nice to know that I was there for my pack as they were there for me.

Dude, I miss being able to fly. I also have to have a fear of heights in this life, sadly.

I really didn't learn how to fly until after the dorms were made at UA, lol. To be fair, I didn't really have anyone to properly teach me about flying with my wings when I was younger. My older sibling would've had to be the one to do that, and they were busy a lot when it would've been the time to teach me really, and they had to learn on their own so they weren't thinking about having to teach me, lol. I was lucky that I had Hikari [another noncanon being] to help me cause they also had wings and shit. Though their wings were of a different type [my wings were that of like a crow, and I can't quite remember what type of bird their wings were like.] They were still one of the best in helping me with learning to fly.

I don't mention much about my quirk, except for my wings, ears, and tail, lol. But the other "part" of my quirk let me essentially become a spirit like thing, which with that my form was a wolfdog with wings, lol. I could fly just fine in that form, just not in my "normal" form for some reason. Idk why that is exactly, but whatever.

It's missing my pack hours, lol.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/ze) :3c

Edit: fixed a mistake/typo

Hello, I decided to come say hi and shit in an ask, lol.

I'm not good at starting conversations, but I would like to hear about any alterhuman or nonhuman experiences or memories or anything that'd you'd be willing to share!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it) | a fellow noncanon MHA being/creature :3c

aaa hihi!! good to hear from you, i definitely feel you on the 'bad at starting conversations' lol!

the first thing that comes to mind a memory of playing video games with Tomura and Shuichi. I wasn't very good at it, but it was good bonding and i loved playing with them. I would only play the 'silly' games like Mario Kart or Smash Bros, they got too into the 'serious' ones for me. I finished in last place every time lmao, so i mostly spent my time teasing whoever was in second place. Dabi would sit with us too sometimes, either lazily scrolling on his phone or bothering the three of us, trying to help whoever would give him the most attention lol. The others joined in sometimes too, Himiko and Jin and rarely Sho and Toshi if they were hanging out. Himiko would shriek excitedly and bump us while Jin cheered her on and cursed her out. It was good.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to ramble lol!! Feel free to share any memories/thoughts you have :D

I mostly try and stay off of Tumblr too much when I'm age regressed cause I never know what I'll see cause not everything is tagged well and stuff.

However, I am on rn while regressed, lol. I wanna talk about memories [happier ones] to do with agere in my life as Zuki.

While I am very much in a partly regressed partly not most of the time in this life, I could fully regress most of the time in my life as Zuki.

When I was regressed, I liked to be called pup by a few people that I gave permission to. Dad and pa had permission as did Toshi and Zuku. Also Kari and Kats, lol.

Kats rarely called me pup though and it wasn't around others really, reputation or something like that, lol.

Being called pup always helped me with regressing as well, so it was pretty much just used when I was already regressed or wanting or needing to regress, lol.

Dad would be able to tell when I needed to regress even if I said I didn't want or need to, lol. He would usually call me pup when he noticed, and then I would regress almost instantly. Sometimes, I would say I wasn't little when I was regressed, lol.

Pa had a harder time seeing through my lies or whatever you wanna call them, lol. But was very great when I was regressed and he knew about it.

Zuku had an even easier time knowing this stuff than dad did cause he knew me longer and stuff. The first person to know about my regression and one of my favorites to go to.

Toshi, like pa, had a hard time knowing this stuff. But was amazing when he took care of me when I was little.

Kari knew almost as much as Zuku, lol. Kari also regressed sometimes [as did Zuku and Toshi and some others], so that helped. They were one of the ones I loved being around best while regressed, but all the ones mentioned are the best ones I loved being around, lol.

Kats knew a little less than Zuku but about the same as dad. He was also cool to be around while I was little, although you probably wouldn't guess that, lol.

This is all I'm gonna mention rn, so yeah.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/xe) :3c

[Before I start, I wanna say I am slightly age regressed rn, so if my message is off or different, that's probably why, lol].

Mood, I was a few predatory animals, lol [wolf, dog, cat, I am unsure if a crow is a predator but if so that too, lol].

I tried to be a good friend to all of my friends, including Toga. Toga and I got along cause of relating with quirk discrimination and quirk diet stuff.

It definitely is cool swapping memories!!!

I've been dealing with a lot of bad memories from my life as Zuki coming back to my mind today, so to talk about better memories and stuff is nice. I mean, yeah, we are talking about bad stuff to do with quirks slightly, but still.

Anyways yeah, it's really cool talking about memories with you!!!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/xe/it)

Edit: forgot tags, lol

Hello, I decided to come say hi and shit in an ask, lol.

I'm not good at starting conversations, but I would like to hear about any alterhuman or nonhuman experiences or memories or anything that'd you'd be willing to share!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it) | a fellow noncanon MHA being/creature :3c

aaa hihi!! good to hear from you, i definitely feel you on the 'bad at starting conversations' lol!

the first thing that comes to mind a memory of playing video games with Tomura and Shuichi. I wasn't very good at it, but it was good bonding and i loved playing with them. I would only play the 'silly' games like Mario Kart or Smash Bros, they got too into the 'serious' ones for me. I finished in last place every time lmao, so i mostly spent my time teasing whoever was in second place. Dabi would sit with us too sometimes, either lazily scrolling on his phone or bothering the three of us, trying to help whoever would give him the most attention lol. The others joined in sometimes too, Himiko and Jin and rarely Sho and Toshi if they were hanging out. Himiko would shriek excitedly and bump us while Jin cheered her on and cursed her out. It was good.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to ramble lol!! Feel free to share any memories/thoughts you have :D

I have been really going through it with bad memories from my life as Zuki lately, lol.

So, instead, I wanna share some good memories I have so I can balance out the bad.

Since I was like an older sibling to Izuku, I would let him help me preen my wings and shit, which is a thing for mostly family [and mates]. He was one of the only ones that I allowed to do this for a long time. Eventually, others from Class 1A got added to the list of people who were allowed to even touch my wings, let alone preen them. Hikari, my queer platonic partner, was the second person who I allowed to preen my wings [of my class], we may not have been romantic, but they were still my mate. Hitoshi was the third cause he was my little brother, legally this time, lol. Toshi was the least likely to ask to preen my wings though, even after getting permission to ask, I would usually have to ask him if he wanted to help for him to feel like he could, lol [it did come from his trauma though so it's ok, love you bro]. I allowed Denki to touch my wings and tail cause it would help with his ADHD sometimes, which mood I would play with my own tail to help my ADHD, lol. There are others, but these are the ones I feel like sharing rn.

Bro, I remember hanging out with the "girls" [I use quotes cause not everyone identified as a girl/woman]. We would have "girl's night," which once again not everyone identified with that gender but it's pretty much what we would call it, lol. It was fun. We would paint each other's nails. The ones who knew makeup and shit would help those who wanted to learn. And we would just talk about shit. I miss these "girl's nights" so much.

I miss the game nights we would have as a whole class. We had to ban some games cause of how people got, lol. Monopoly was the first one to be banned, lol. We would play Uno the most, even though people got very competitive [*cough* Bakugo and me mainly *cough*]. We also had to ban truth or dare, and I will not be explaining why, I think it's obvious why. Would you rather and never have I ever were allowed though, lol.

Dadzawa and Papamic would take me, Eri, and Toshi to do fun activities, such as arts and crafts, go trick or treating, and other fun shit, lol. I would usually end up carrying Eri at some point cause she loved to be carried, and it helped with my protective instincts, lol. I would usually wrap my wings around her while holding her, and she loved it. If someone who is good at art would draw that for me, I would love it [I don't have money rn so I'm not gonna commission anyone right now, but I might when I get enough money, lol].

I would never have described myself as good with kids, and I would say that I wasn't a lot. My friends and family tended to disagree with me there. They would bring up how good I was with Eri, Kota, and a kid who is not canon. But I would bring up in response that they were all traumatized kids that I latched onto in a sibling way mainly but also cause I saw bits of myself in them and didn't want them to not have someone. Other kids I was definitely not good with. I would say I'm not really good with kids in this life, even though at the church I am forced to go to, I help with the kids, lol. Kids are kinda weird.

I remember Remo, my service dog, and despite the fact that I had been so fucking upset that I needed another being/creature with me to function, I loved him. I remember when I would have him off duty and use my quirk to become a little wolfdog with wings spirit thing and play with him, lol. I also used that to play with Hikari, whose quirk let them become certain animals, lol. It was very fun to do these things and I miss being able to do that.

I really miss everyone. I miss my life as Zuki. I miss my pack. I miss my wings. I miss my tail. I miss my ears. I miss my sharp teeth. I miss my claws. I miss being Zuki physically.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/xe)

These messages really do get a lot longer than expected, lol.

I could go into more detail about a lot of things, but then we'd probably be at this like all day, lol. While that'd be fun, it's probably better to not do that, lol.

Just want to say that you're really cool! And it's really great talking with you! I don't really have many people to talk to about all this, so it's really nice being able to ramble about memories with someone!

I just realized that I typed Shoto with the u, which he didn't have in my canon, lol. So ignore the u, I'm too lazy to go and change it, lol.

I'm glad that you told Toga Himiko that her quirk doesn't make her evil. I remember that when I first met her after the training camp [I wasn't really involved in that fight anyways], I told her that I had been called tons of names and shit because of my quirk.

I was called "Monster" "Freak" "Evil" etc.

But the one that really 'stuck' was being told that "Not even a villain would want your quirk." So, uh yeah, that sucks. They were basically saying that my quirk was so useless and bad that no one would ever want it. It's what made it easier for me to see people with "evil" or "villain" or "useless" or whatever other word people said quirks as good and deserving of love and worth so much. Quirks are really just a tool in a way. It's how someone uses it that makes the person. Quirkless people are also worth so much, and I wish that people had seen that more.

I remember giving Toga some of my blood on that day that I actually met her [this happened before I was adopted. It was like right after the dorms were made] and saying something like, "I won't let someone starve if I could help them." Cause at least in my canon, she needed to drink blood to live, so yeah. Quirk diets or whatever you wanna call them suck [I had to eat more meat and sometimes needed to eat what would essentially be raw meat, it was slightly cooked but not quite rare, but it wasn't fully raw, idk. I just know it sucked cause of being scared of how people would see me.].

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/hx)

Hello, I decided to come say hi and shit in an ask, lol.

I'm not good at starting conversations, but I would like to hear about any alterhuman or nonhuman experiences or memories or anything that'd you'd be willing to share!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it) | a fellow noncanon MHA being/creature :3c

aaa hihi!! good to hear from you, i definitely feel you on the 'bad at starting conversations' lol!

the first thing that comes to mind a memory of playing video games with Tomura and Shuichi. I wasn't very good at it, but it was good bonding and i loved playing with them. I would only play the 'silly' games like Mario Kart or Smash Bros, they got too into the 'serious' ones for me. I finished in last place every time lmao, so i mostly spent my time teasing whoever was in second place. Dabi would sit with us too sometimes, either lazily scrolling on his phone or bothering the three of us, trying to help whoever would give him the most attention lol. The others joined in sometimes too, Himiko and Jin and rarely Sho and Toshi if they were hanging out. Himiko would shriek excitedly and bump us while Jin cheered her on and cursed her out. It was good.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to ramble lol!! Feel free to share any memories/thoughts you have :D

Been thinking about my life as Zuki a lot lately, so I'm gonna share some more shit about it. This is gonna be a long ass post, lol.

Class 1A was really close in my canon. We were a family [I would use the word pack]. There were 21 of us originally (everyone from the "actual" canon minus Mınət@ who didn't exist as far as I know, lol, and me and one other noncanon 'character' who's name is Hikari Kubo-Mori).

More stuff about how I got along with some other Class 1A students below

A bit after the dorms became a thing, Hitoshi Shinso joined our class. Now, I was always a bit of a 'nerd' when it came to quirks, lol. [Me and Izuku loved to analyze quirks together cause it's very interesting and just awesome to know more about quirks, lol.]

Anyway, I was very into quirk analysis, and Hitoshi's quirk was something that was very interesting and didn't really scare me (guess it comes with having a quirk that scared others and shit). So Hitoshi and I became friends pretty quick after they joined Class 1A cause I was also way more 'into' making friends at that point, lol. [I was also a part of the "I didn't come to make friends" club at first, lol]. Then, a bit later, I got adopted by Aizawa and Present Mic, who had adopted Hitoshi before me, so we became siblings.

I don't know why exactly I brought up Hitoshi first, besides the fact that he's my brother. But I'm gonna be moving on to others now.

Bakugo Katsuki, Izuku Midoriya, and I were all childhood friends. We were actually pretty close before Bakugo got his quirk, I got mine, and Izuku didn't get a quirk. [I'm not really going to go into the whole thing. Just know that for a while, none of us were really friends].

I re-became friends with Izuku at the end of our last middle school year (reminder that in my canon UA was a college type thing). Shit had happened before that made me realize shit. [I was never a bully, but I also never stood up for Izuku like I should've, I had my "reasons," but idc they were kinda dumb and shit but I was a dumb pup at the time].

A bit after the dorms happened, Bakugo found me on the roof of the dorms [don't go there, I liked it cause it was quiet and I could feel the wind on my wings and shit] and asked me a few questions that kinda suprised me at first. The main thing was asking about how it's like with a service dog, how to get over the feeling of not being good enough cause of needing a dog to help, how to deal with others when it comes to service dogs, and stuff like that. Turns out that in a session with Hound Dog, a service dog was suggested to Bakugo because of the training camp and everything. I told him the truth that I still had difficulty with all of the things that having a service dog brings/causes but that I loved Remo so much and was greatful to him. Me and Kats became friends again after that (I called him Kats because when I was younger [and could speak, so I was at least 7], I had trouble with his name so I called him Kats instead).

If you notice, I use both Bakugo and Kats for him, and that's cause I did then as well, lol.

Me and the rest of the Dekusquad that I haven't mentioned already [who I have mentioned already is just Izuku and Hitoshi].

The Dekusquad was mainly known to be: me, Midoriya Izuku/Deku, Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, Todoroki Shouto, Asui Tsuyu/Tsu, Kubo-Mori Hikari, and Shinso Hitoshi [last names then first names]. Though we also had Yaoyorozu Momo, Tokoyami Fumikage, and Aoyama Yuga.

Some people I use last names more and some I use first names more. It's mainly based on how close I was to them specifically and which is easier for me. Like with Momo, it's easier with her first name than her last name, lol. But it's easier for me to use Tokoyami rather than their first name.

Now, with the Bakusquad, lol.

The Bakusquad was: Bakugo Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Sero Hanta, Ashido Mina, and Jirou Kyouka.

I already talked about Kats. So, with the rest of the Bakusquad, I was pretty close with all of them. I was not as close to Sero, not for any reason, I just didn't hang with him a lot.

Despite being close to Jirou, I tend to use her last name cause it's easier for me, lol. Same with Kiri.

Mina and Denki were the first of the Bakusquad to give me permission to use their first names, which is what I mainly use for them.

It terms of the overall class [not including Izuku and Bakugo ofc], the first one to give permission for their first name/a nickname to be used to me was actually Hikari, the second is ofc Tsu.

There are definitely people I didn't mention here. It's not cause of any reason, I've just already gone on for a while, so this is it for this post for now. I'll probably reblog if I want to add anything later, lol.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/hx)

That's awesome! The best way for me to reply is a reblog. If you don't want me to have rebloged, then just tell me, and I'll take it down!

Anyways, it's really cool to hear about others' memories!!! Also, love rambling and listening to others ramble about alterhuman/nonhuman stuff!!!

When you say Toshi, you mean Hitoshi Shinso, right? If so, that's my brother!! Well, it would be a different version of them, but still, lol. [My canon's Hitoshi went by he/they pronouns mainly].

Also, Mario Kart is sooooo good!!! Been playing it in this life again recently, lol. Doing great with it, actually, lol.

Playing video games with the LOV is very fun, lol. I remember some times of doing that, too!

I wasn't a part of the LOV because I was training to become a hero, of course, but I was still close with them after a few of the attacks. If you would like to hear more about me becoming friends with some of the LOV, I'd be happy to share [what I remember from it ofc]!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/hx/it) | a fellow noncanon MHA being/creature :3c

Hello, I decided to come say hi and shit in an ask, lol.

I'm not good at starting conversations, but I would like to hear about any alterhuman or nonhuman experiences or memories or anything that'd you'd be willing to share!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it) | a fellow noncanon MHA being/creature :3c

aaa hihi!! good to hear from you, i definitely feel you on the 'bad at starting conversations' lol!

the first thing that comes to mind a memory of playing video games with Tomura and Shuichi. I wasn't very good at it, but it was good bonding and i loved playing with them. I would only play the 'silly' games like Mario Kart or Smash Bros, they got too into the 'serious' ones for me. I finished in last place every time lmao, so i mostly spent my time teasing whoever was in second place. Dabi would sit with us too sometimes, either lazily scrolling on his phone or bothering the three of us, trying to help whoever would give him the most attention lol. The others joined in sometimes too, Himiko and Jin and rarely Sho and Toshi if they were hanging out. Himiko would shriek excitedly and bump us while Jin cheered her on and cursed her out. It was good.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to ramble lol!! Feel free to share any memories/thoughts you have :D

Can people send in asks about my memories from canon? Cause I wanna rant about some memories and shit but wanna make sure that people would even be open to hearing about them and shit. [Send in specific asks if you want to or send in just asks about what memories I have, just pls send in asks sjdjjdjejskdks].

DHJDJEJEJRJDJD, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, JDJDND

- Zuki Shay Lupo! :3c